Toilets in South Stand.

[Cheesebored]

Utter woke nonsense. Orderly queuing in a line for 16 minutes because society deems no cock shaming. Bring back the stainless pisser. World's gone crackers.

 

[JOEYDEE]

I’m looking at flights back for the next home game after reading this thread.

Don't fly economy tho..reight queues f'bogs !

 

[Edgar Allan Poo]

Anyone been in the girls loos yet? For balance we must have a female perspective.

I mean actual girls of course. This is 2026 not 2025 after all.

 

[Rodley]

Well we did once have one who shat in the 18th hole on a golf course.

Anyone on gangway B south stand sat near the guy who literally shat himself? All over his jeans and just sat there ffs

Can tell it’s a South Stand thread with people using “shat”

 

[JimW1889]

Gonna have to go against the grain here. The piss per minute (PPM) throughput was clearly reduced by the removal of the troughs for the individual urinals. Gerrem back.

 

[GodricBlade]

Anyone on gangway B south stand sat near the guy who literally shat himself? All over his jeans and just sat there ffs

I really don’t know why but I sort of want to know more about this ‘event’.
Age of bloke.
Was he alone or in company.
Was he pissed up or ill.
How it happened.
Local reaction
Etc.

 

[Gimli]

Anyone been in the girls loos yet? For balance we must have a female perspective.

I mean actual girls of course. This is 2026 not 2025 after all.

My mate took his mrs to Millwall away and she apparently remarked that the womens toilets were pristine - he did reply that she was probably only the third person to have ever used it…

 

[chesblade]

Anyone been in the girls loos yet? For balance we must have a female perspective.

I mean actual girls of course. This is 2026 not 2025 after all.

Ladies are very nice too, impressed with how modern it looks

 

[Bell4]

I want both.

You would

 

[Bell4]

My mate took his mrs to Millwall away and she apparently remarked that the womens toilets were pristine - he did reply that she was probably only the third person to have ever used it…

You can deffo rule out trans

 

[cooperblade]

I can only assume that whoever designed them has never had a few pints and been desperate for a piss at a football match. Classic case of form over function when you reduce the amount of people who can go at the same time by about half.

 

[Hanauer]

Yep. I almost felt guilty pissing on the floor.

I did my best not to. Gonna take a toilet brush to the next game.

 

[Blade1959]

Kop's toilets gone posh too?

Don’t know, I meant the kop end of the South Stand

 

[Edgar Allan Poo]

My mate took his mrs to Millwall away and she apparently remarked that the womens toilets were pristine - he did reply that she was probably only the third person to have ever used it…

Who were the other two?

 

[Nick Jansky]

Can tell it’s a South Stand thread with people using “shat”

Whereas in the executive seats they defecate.

 

[Nedski]

I agree. I generally get in as soon as the turnstiles open so I can pop in the ladies and piss on a few seats before anyone else is around, and they are a definite upgrade on last season.

That was your piss on the ladies seats?

Oh. Oh no. No no no no

 

[Deadbat]

The singular bowls that have replaced the long troughs have also added an element of decorum. No longer a scrum jostling for position. Now a queuing system. Pick your bowl, line up and use. No elbow action, so sideway movements, no nipping in and definitely “got room for a little one” comments. Do wish they’d gone for red walls and not the anonymous grey though.

Agreed. Lovely to see the upgrades. Painted walls. New sinks and single erm....bowls to relieve yourself intom. However, on a busy day will it take longer? I'd argue you could feet 15 to a long trough to maybe only 8 or 9 (didn’t count but will next game!) to the single urinals. Bettis out.

There was more excitement and chatter as people entered the bogs than about the game. That summed it up sadly.

 

[Blackheath Blade]

Kop's toilets gone posh too?

Not in our lifetimes Silent. In fact, I'd go as far to say that the toilet facilities on the Kop are nothing short of appalling.

 

[prince albert]

Well I'm not a short person but them bowls need lowering as there's nothing like touching the porcelain with your dick end to put you off.

 

[Linz]

RIP to the graffiti declaring "Stephen Quinn iz fit".

Definite improvement although only two hand dryers is a little stingy.

When I first started going to matches, only one "special" toilet had a sanitary bin which was a massive pain in the tits. And it was only recently that hooks were added to the backs of thr doors so we had somewhere to hang bags/massive coats.

 

[Sportbilly /Detroit Blade]

I did my best not to. Gonna take a toilet brush to the next game.

Hopefully you've got teeth like Esther Rantzen, it will look less weird taking in a toothbrush that can double as a toilet brush!

 

[Rodley]

I can only assume that whoever designed them has never had a few pints and been desperate for a piss at a football match. Classic case of form over function when you reduce the amount of people who can go at the same time by about half.

With the average age of the south stand punters, that can only mean one thing

 

[Grey Blade]

I missed having something to read - but I didn't miss anything else

 

[espoo blade]

My favourite thread so far this season. Although a life long Shoreham Boy who hates having to go in the south stand for cup games I now relish the opportunity. In fact I will attempt to abstain from having a pee on match days until I arrive at the ground.

I do love a wee chuckle!

 

[Edgar Allan Poo]

I do love a wee chuckle!

Urine the majority there!

 

[ilovesufc]

Must've used all their money on the South stand then. No flushing toilets or running water in the taps post match on the kop toilets at the SS end. Pretty disgusting really.

 

[HighfieldBlade]

Gets a decent rating from yesterday's game...

 

[DifferentClass]

Urine the majority there!

These wee puns are pissing me off.

 

[Edgar Allan Poo]

These wee puns are pissing me off.

That's cos you're probs bladdered.

 

[BornOnShorehamStreet]

Well we did once have one who shat in the 18th hole on a golf course.

Billy Tightshirt by any chance?