This could be Rotterdam or anywhere

[ucandomagic]

I was in a taxi in Amsterdam about 25 years ago and the driver was smoking a joint - or whatever people call it these days. Anyway, the traffic was solid and after about 5 mins without moving he shouted Fuck This - went onto the pavement, down some steps and up the other side! I jumped out when he had to stop, and I've been a fan of buses ever since!

UTB

 

[Grappler]

I'm not reading anything properly today, still hungover from a fantastic day & night yesterday

According to the rules of association football, that is a legally acceptable answer

"....any football supporter who deems it appropriate to partake in refreshing alcoholic beverages, following a win by Sheffield United Football Club, whether a home game or away game, will be legally entitled to be "well over the limit", and shall be immune from "where the hell have you been", "what time do you call this?", or "you smell like a bloody brewery", from their spouse, (or live-in partner, for the more permissive fan), and shall be duly authorised, by the highest authority in the land, to spend the following day, sitting quietly, with feet up, being waited on (both hand and foot) and given copius cups of tea or coffee.

Also, any employer, employing a Sheffield United fan, who appears at his place of work in the above state, will smile sagely, (preferably with a pipe in his mouth), shake his head from side to side, and allow said employee to sleep at his desk all day..."

 

[SwissBlade]

I was in a taxi in Amsterdam about 25 years ago and the driver was smoking a joint - or whatever people call it these days. Anyway, the traffic was solid and after about 5 mins without moving he shouted Fuck This - went onto the pavement, down some steps and up the other side! I jumped out when he had to stop, and I've been a fan of buses ever since!

UTB

In Barbados over new year 1999, we got a taxi back from Harbour lights and the driver was drinking rum from his cup in his cup holder. seemed pretty pissed so we took him for KFC drive thru for honeyed BBQ chicken wings

 

[Wapping Blade]

In Barbados over new year 1999, we got a taxi back from Harbour lights and the driver was drinking rum from his cup in his cup holder. seemed pretty pissed so we took him for KFC drive thru for honeyed BBQ chicken wings

I had the taxi stinking of rum experience in Barbados too, coupled with racing through sugar cane fields in the pitch black!

 

[tyke1889]

According to the rules of association football, that is a legally acceptable answer

"....any football supporter who deems it appropriate to partake in refreshing alcoholic beverages, following a win by Sheffield United Football Club, whether a home game or away game, will be legally entitled to be "well over the limit", and shall be immune from "where the hell have you been", "what time do you call this?", or "you smell like a bloody brewery", from their spouse, (or live-in partner, for the more permissive fan), and shall be duly authorised, by the highest authority in the land, to spend the following day, sitting quietly, with feet up, being waited on (both hand and foot) and given copius cups of tea or coffee.

Also, any employer, employing a Sheffield United fan, who appears at his place of work in the above state, will smile sagely, (preferably with a pipe in his mouth), shake his head from side to side, and allow said employee to sleep at his desk all day..."

I would like a copy of that rule book, if you send me the long number off your card along with the expiry date and the last 3 numbers off the back I'll get that payment to you asap

 

[Snowman]

I was in a taxi once, in Los Angeles, the taxi driver hears my voice and says

"so, you're from the land down under huh?"

"no mate, I'm British"

"oh really? huh, what part of London are you from?"

"I'm from Sheffield mate"

"is that central London?, near the famous West End"

"yes mate, that's right......"

This could very well be the same taxi driver from LA who I taught the words to Merry Xmas by Slade. I like to think he was probably battered to death by a 1968 Gibson SG Custom in Walnut wielded by a chunky thick set bloke with long hair and a knowledge of musical theory.

 

[Bath Blade]

In fairness, i didn't get ripped off in Rotterdam.

Den Haag, Amsterdam and Frankfurt - all ripped off with taxis on first trip there

I'll add Prague to that list. Went there a few years ago, got a taxi back from a nightclub to the hotel at the end of the night. Took ages and cost a fortune, walked out of the hotel the following morning, across the square and realised we were back at the nightclub again.

 

[eastsussexblade]

Bramall Lane or Rome
The Shoreham boys are everywhere
Everywhere we go

This could be Rotherham or anywhere
Liverpool or Rome
Shoreham Boys are everywhere
Anywhere we roam
S.U.F.C
Everywhere we roam

 

[Sean Thornton]

Sounds like a perfect journey to me. Better than listening to some scouser going on about King Kenny.

I like Ken Dodd.

 

[Grappler]

This could very well be the same taxi driver from LA who I taught the words to Merry Xmas by Slade. I like to think he was probably battered to death by a 1968 Gibson SG Custom in Walnut wielded by a chunky thick set bloke with long hair and a knowledge of musical theory.

Did the SG have P90's?

 

[Billyblade]

Me and a mate once got in a taxi outside Roxy's (O2 academy for anyone unlucky enough to not be old enough to frequent the North's premier entertainment venue).
He set off like a bat out of hell. When he got to St Marys roundabout he took it on 2 wheels and must have done about 70mph up Bramall Lane. When we got near the Sheaf House he turned to us and said "I'm not a real taxi ya know".
"No fucking shit" I said "This is near enough I'll walk from here"

 

[DaveBassettsgoneonholiday]

I was in a taxi once in Rotterdam. I said to the driver

"to the train station please"

he replied in a North African accent " you English"

"Yes" was my reply.

He drove me to the train station.

I could've also had this conversation anywhere, but i imagine that the conversation in Liverpool would've been more friendly.

Not an unfriendly taxi driver but......... We went to see a band at the O2 Academy in Liverpool a couple of years back. Jumped in a cab near our digs and asked to be taken to said venue. His reply was, "Where's that then ?" Had to get our tickets out and find a post code for him to put in his satnav.

 

[Trafford]

This could be Bernebau or San Siro
The Stade de France or Rome
I'd rather be at Bramall Lane
S2 is my home

 

[Snowman]

Did the SG have P90's?

No. However just missed a second hand modern one at Richtone where the seller had fitted P90's. Bought a signature series Les Paul instead with the uncovered humbuckers and that daft coil tap thingy. Anyway back to the thread.

I and two other old men with flasks are being dragged into the South Stand by one of the London Blades for the Scunny game. I'd like to get the definitive version of this little ditty sorted before I start singing and disturbing the library. GERRIT SORTED.

 

[Snowman]

As this is a taxi driver thread, two other stories.

Bangkok. Taxi driver booked by hotel to take us to Golden Buddha Temple. Goes straight to mates jewellery business where can get "great deal". Didn't. On finally getting to temple got Tuk Tuk back to hotel. 5 star hotel in middle of tourist hotels. Driver drops us off and points to alleyway and says "shortcut to hotel, avoid traffic". Fucking miles away the little cheating cunt. I still remember his face.

London. Proper London Cab on rank at St Pancras. Driver looks about 90. Only going about 5 miles to well known area.Should have known better when he asks me for directions. I kid you not. Conversation was. "Where is that mate?" "Camden". "Yeah but where"? "You go via Tavistock Place, you can get at it from Grays Inn Road as well". "Right well you point me in the right direction then". Fifteen minutes later when he had said sorry, his head had gone and he couldn't remember anything because he had just been released from hospital and he didn't know where he was, I was on the pavement using google maps to walk to destination in rain carrying a heavy bag.

Taxi Drivers eh. Twats the lot of em. Please copy and paste to Twats thread.

 

[BushBlade]

No. However just missed a second hand modern one at Richtone where the seller had fitted P90's. Bought a signature series Les Paul instead with the uncovered humbuckers and that daft coil tap thingy. Anyway back to the thread.

I and two other old men with flasks are being dragged into the South Stand by one of the London Blades for the Scunny game. I'd like to get the definitive version of this little ditty sorted before I start singing and disturbing the library. GERRIT SORTED.

Coil tap? Is that fo' fillin' thi bath wi coil?

 

[HighfieldBlade]

This could be Stockholm or anywhere...