Things I won’t miss in the EPL

[Bladeulike]

I don’t think that anyone will accuse me of being a surrender monkey if my thoughts are already turning to next season in the Championship. So, for my sanity, here’s a list of things that I will NOT miss about being in this current wretched league:

*The pundits on TNT - particularly those two dimwits last night with sheets of plastic over their heads to protect their hair and an interviewing style straight off Playschool

*The obnoxious sneering pundits on BBC who seem to find teams like the Blades an offence to the division and to them personally because we can’t afford a ticket to the EPL’s Elite Lounge ( membership by invitation only but a few billion petro dollars will help)

*Smirking, smug gits like Van Dyke assuring everyone that teams like ours couldn’t ever possibly worry them and that the worldie that put them 2-1 up was just a matter of time and part of the plan

*Watching £100 million worth of galactico opposition talent come onto the pitch in the last 15 minutes of a game whilst we invariably bring on either a couple of kids from our under-11s side or someone apparently on day release from the orthopaedic ward

*Hamstrings

*The offside and handball rules that have always been an integral part of the game I’ve loved for decades but now something I simply no longer understand

*Constantly elongated games created by VAR stoppages and the fact that referees appear to be now timing matches with a sundial

*Entitled fans who live 100s of miles away from their randomly selected ‘home’ team and who have no knowledge of what happens outside of the ‘big six’ or appreciation of the fact that football has a rich tapestry, culture and heritage that is being strangled by the greed and arrogance of the teams they purport to follow

*Chris Wilder’s increasingly grumpy post match interviews (cheer up Chris, it’s only a game!)

*Setting records for all the wrong reasons

*Pessimism, humiliation, disappointment and embarrassment and dreading match days


So farewell Premier League, we will see ourselves out - what do you mean you never realised we were ever here???

 

[184blade]

Add following an away game via soccer Saturday on sky only for the program to finish whilst we are still playing the added time.

 

[TJB.]

I forgot that players only gain hamstrings upon promotion to the Premier League.

 

[Bladesman]

I don’t think that anyone will accuse me of being a surrender monkey if my thoughts are already turning to next season in the Championship. So, for my sanity, here’s a list of things that I will NOT miss about being in this current wretched league:

*The pundits on TNT - particularly those two dimwits last night with sheets of plastic over their heads to protect their hair and an interviewing style straight off Playschool

*The obnoxious sneering pundits on BBC who seem to find teams like the Blades an offence to the division and to them personally because we can’t afford a ticket to the EPL’s Elite Lounge ( membership by invitation only but a few billion petro dollars will help)

*Smirking, smug gits like Van Dyke assuring everyone that teams like ours couldn’t ever possibly worry them and that the worldie that put them 2-1 up was just a matter of time and part of the plan

*Watching £100 million worth of galactico opposition talent come onto the pitch in the last 15 minutes of a game whilst we invariably bring on either a couple of kids from our under-11s side or someone apparently on day release from the orthopaedic ward

*Hamstrings

*The offside and handball rules that have always been an integral part of the game I’ve loved for decades but now something I simply no longer understand

*Constantly elongated games created by VAR stoppages and the fact that referees appear to be now timing matches with a sundial

*Entitled fans who live 100s of miles away from their randomly selected ‘home’ team and who have no knowledge of what happens outside of the ‘big six’ or appreciation of the fact that football has a rich tapestry, culture and heritage that is being strangled by the greed and arrogance of the teams they purport to follow

*Chris Wilder’s increasingly grumpy post match interviews (cheer up Chris, it’s only a game!)

*Setting records for all the wrong reasons

*Pessimism, humiliation, disappointment and embarrassment and dreading match days


So farewell Premier League, we will see ourselves out - what do you mean you never realised we were ever here???

The pundits are the worst apart from Ally McCoist who at least recognises some of the issues we have been having.

I notice anytime we are on TV they never or rarely mention how many injuries we have as well. Yet they bang on about Newcastle's injury issues.

 

[JustLookin]

Add watching Match of the Day only for the program to finish whilst we are still playing the added time.

Fixed.

 

[Champagneblade]

The pundits are the worst apart from Ally McCoist who at least recognises some of the issues we have been having.

I notice anytime we are on TV they never or rarely mention how many injuries we have as well. Yet they bang on about Newcastle's injury issues.

This is very true.

I’m not looking for sympathy.

But there is clearly no acceptable narrative that can accompany us.

It’s a talking point that Man City are without Walker or that Liverpool are without Alyson.

Yet those poor bastards in S2 start off with a far weaker squad and have pretty much tackled the entire season minus double figures of unavailable players.

Yet we’re not injury ravaged Sheffield United. They just assume we’ll be shit anyway so don’t even bother to recognise that. Being without arguably 4 out of the first 6 defensive options and 5 out of 7, being on our 3rd choice left back for example. It’s a huge setback, yet no real
mention.

Very little reference made to the 8-0 being the result of the club experiencing a horrendous emotional week for the club and not to mention the 3 first half goals all should have been chalked off.

They just choose to cover the minimum and that’s your lot.

 

[UddersBlade]

I won’t miss it at all & frankly I’m happy for us to just miss out in a few losing play off finals( yeah I know but we’re used to it & it ends a normally fun season of winning more than you lose & a cracking day out with friends).

I’m probably too old now, and was lucky enough to see the TC team in the 70’s & Basset’s team in the 90’s when we could fleetingly compete at the top table when there was less money in the game. Now the game has gone mad… and honestly I know the Premier League is cash rich …. But if we never have another season up there in my lifetime - I won’t care.

So yes …. Bring me more away days at Huddersfield, Blackburn, Derby, West Brom, Portsmouth ….. can’t wait …. Much more fun …. with actually a chance of winning and oh I almost forgot……no bloody VAR!!!! …..where a goal is actually a goal so you can celebrate properly!

 

[Grey Blade]

I won't miss weird kick off times.

 

[varkanoid]

It will just be our luck to get relegated then after the season ends the decisions come in on Everton and Forest to dock them more points meaning we stay up. We will be the villains of next season

 

[Tony_Kaufman]

#1 The Premier League

 

[Loco Blade]

All of the above

 

[west_yorks_blade]

As much as I agree with the OP, when we get relegated we will still have an owner that wants to get rid and won’t / can’t invest and a real problem on the player contract front.

Our fundamental problems are our own and will stick to us like clinkers round a poodle’s arse.

 

[Loco Blade]

I yearn for the days of going to the likes of Bury . Prematch pints in Manchester followed by overpriced and confused taxi journey to Bury . £1 entry to their social club with plate pies and cheap beer followed by 3 points and a walking police escort back to the tram station . How many of those bellends at Anfield could relate to that match day experience !
You could even buy Man U clobber in Bury FC club shop ! Life doesn’t get better than that .
( yes I do live near Gig Lane so you can fuck off before you start )

 

[Torrix1889]

Bullying Managers like Klopp who are in the ear of the 4th official from the 1st minute moaning about every decision or doing the same in pressers before and after games, (cleverly avoiding fines) until they create so much drama they influence the decision making on the pitch. I swear Klopp himself is good for 4 or 5 points a season for Liverpool...

and on the same score weak officials

 

[SwissBlade]

*The pundits on TNT - particularly those two dimwits last night with sheets of plastic over their heads to protect their hair and an interviewing style straight off Playschool

*The obnoxious sneering pundits on BBC who seem to find teams like the Blades an offence to the division and to them personally because we can’t afford a ticket to the EPL’s Elite Lounge ( membership by invitation only but a few billion petro dollars will help)

I actually think the coverage on TNT / BT is good, quite different, but their "thing" seems to be standing pitch side in all weathers, i get that as they bring in coaches, managers, players and fans for a chat, which seems quite friendly and informal. It drives me a bit mad though that they stand their in the rain shivering when they could be in a studio.

The Cole Palmer chat last night was quite amusing after the game.

BBC though, watched MOTD on sunday morning and that Alex scott was sniggering that we're not quite gone yet.

*Watching £100 million worth of galactico opposition talent come onto the pitch in the last 15 minutes of a game whilst we invariably bring on either a couple of kids from our under-11s side or someone apparently on day release from the orthopaedic ward

It shows and highlights the gulf, we look worse in the latter part of games because of it, it's like they go turbo in the last 15 when we're battered. Reduce it back to 3 subs and get rid of anything more than 5 mins added time, keep it fair

*The offside and handball rules that have always been an integral part of the game I’ve loved for decades but now something I simply no longer understand

*Constantly elongated games created by VAR stoppages and the fact that referees appear to be now timing matches with a sundial

I'll just lump this into VAR, it's awful, even decisions going in our favour, shocking as they just ruin the game. Mate of mine said if they can't decide in 60 seconds that it's a wrong decision, the the onfield decision stays. I'd say do it in 30 seconds. If its not clear and obvious then they're looking for a problem... or better still, bin it

 

[BettingBlade]

VAR just highlights the sheer contempt the Premier League has for the match going fan. Not one single person has the foggiest whats going on in a VAR check in the ground.

As long as those armchair fans are nice and comfy all around the world though, because they’re what it’s all about really. Crock of fucking shit.

 

[Hillsboro Blade]

We should learn about the way Bournemouth, Brentford and Brighton are being run. I know they have richer owners than us but they’ve got excellent scouting in place, good infrastructure, a defined style of playing and suitable replacements lined up when the top six buy their best players. Theres no shame in looking at other clubs success. We don’t have any of this, we muddle along with no direction, no thought and with no long term plan in place. If we do manage to go up again we must learn from past mistakes, look at these clubs to even have half a chance of staying up. Otherwise it’s just constant rinse and repeat.

 

[Karaoke Blade]

Posts about 'what we won't miss in the EPL'

 

[KoppedOff]

That dull, unimaginative fucking “Premier League Anthem” that Sinclair is forced to blare out at full blast.

 

[hidesbehindapseudonym]

Just looking forward to my Sky Sports contract expiring next month

 

[cooperblade]

I won't miss weird kick off times.

I fear that with the new EFL TV deal and us being a relatively big team for the league, that might be worse not better next season.

 

[ATL Recs]

I cant wait to get back to the Premier League and try again I don't want to tread mediocracy in the championship and maybe again in Division 1 ( a distinct possibility unless we get recruitment correct) I want us to aim for the Sky (not the TV one) I want to compete in this Division and In my head we should be able to compete in this division.

 

[Le Cynique]

I forgot that players only gain hamstrings upon promotion to the Premier League.

I think it’s part of The Golden Share

 

[bladesmanluke]

For what it's worth I don't think we'll be this bad again if we do make it back up at the end of next season

 

[Grey Blade]

I fear that with the new EFL TV deal and us being a relatively big team for the league, that might be worse not better next season.

As well as TV changes I was think of opponents involvement in European games etc. Changes re TV may be just as bad - as you say

 

[Silent Blade]

We should learn about the way Bournemouth, Brentford and Brighton are being run. I know they have richer owners than us but they’ve got excellent scouting in place, good infrastructure, a defined style of playing and suitable replacements lined up when the top six buy their best players. Theres no shame in looking at other clubs success. We don’t have any of this, we muddle along with no direction, no thought and with no long term plan in place. If we do manage to go up again we must learn from past mistakes, look at these clubs to even have half a chance of staying up. Otherwise it’s just constant rinse and repeat.

Yawn!

 

[Cappy]

I won't miss people complaining about the EPL

"I thing six packs are ugly. No idea why my wife is fucking that ripped guy. I'm better off without her. It's not such a big deal to clean the sink after my stand up wank"

 

[TJB.]

We should learn about the way Bournemouth, Brentford and Brighton are being run. I know they have richer owners than us but they’ve got excellent scouting in place, good infrastructure, a defined style of playing and suitable replacements lined up when the top six buy their best players.

The latter is funded by the former. You need the cash to pay for those things. It's not like we opt to have lesser scouts and infrastructure.

 

[ancientblade]

sky and tnt couldnt make their comentries more biased towards the top 3 they want these 3 battling it out till the end for more viewing figures and revenue same last night you would have thought there was only one team on the pitch pathetic the sooner these mega rich prem clubs f**k off to a european super league the better the english game might just get back to its best as it was back in the day

 

[vas borbokis]

Has somebody nicked the full stop key?