The View From Marseille's Illiman Meltdown (Sorry Roy)

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There's lots of flamingos in the Camargue which is only a few miles away. Hundreds of the bastards, flying around in V formation like the red arrows, only pink. Maybe Illy has watched The Birds recently.
 

Marseille bought a Champions League win, I hope PSG stop them winning another domestic title ever again and their pisstain of a city needs to be carpetbombed, suckez une hogpenise vous mongoloidez.
 
Katzenjammer said:
They do have a reputation, however, they tried causing havoc away to Athletic Bilbao a couple of years ago and promptly got their arses handed to them by the locals, as did Spartak Moscow hooligans.

I've met some lovely folk in Bilbao, but they certainly know how to defend their turf when necessary.
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Been once many years ago its a basque thing "nobody likes us but we don't give a fuck"
 
Wasn't it the Marseille fans starting trouble with the England fans in Euro 2016 spitting and pulling Knives on them, even before Russkis turned up.. Fuck them and their snails. Iliman will showcase his talent on best platform in the word. Bu..yackaaa...shack.
 
Jacobsenthecrab said:
They’ve got a cheek slagging Sheffield, Marseille is a hole.
The players have been instructed to live at least one hour outside the city for a number of years due to a spate of violent robberies targeting players homes.
Not a safe place for your family if you are high profile and wealthy.
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Just ask this lad, Sheffield or Marseille?

Actually, bad example, he has a history of poor judgement 🐷
 

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Katzenjammer said:
I've been to Marseille twice myself. I actually quite liked it. The seafood is impeccable by the way and they let you smoke in the outside seating areas. I smoked Gauloises and Gitanes while I was there just to be a pretentious cunt.

French cities are quite the opposite to British ones: the central parts are very pleasant and safe, whereas the suburbs are fucking horrific, most look like Chechnya after it got bombed to fuck in the late 90's.

Another good thing about Marseille is that just outside there is a Haribo superstore the size of a supermarket. You can literally go round the aisles with a trolly and buy sweets in massive amounts.

I consumed a fuck-ton of gummi-bears when I was over there, which as any connoisseur will tell you is the finest confectionary ever invented.

Memries...
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Fucking hell, mate, you’ve really lived, respect mate, respect…
 
Half Bond Jls said:
Wasn't it the Marseille fans starting trouble with the England fans in Euro 2016 spitting and pulling Knives on them, even before Russkis turned up.. Fuck them and their snails. Iliman will showcase his talent on best platform in the word. Bu..yackaaa...shack.
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Aye
Those innocent pacifist Europhile culture loving tourists quietly quaffing Beaujolais whilst entertaining the local populace with jovial ditties about Teutonic aircraft ?
 
Katzenjammer said:
I've been to Marseille twice myself. I actually quite liked it. The seafood is impeccable by the way and they let you smoke in the outside seating areas. I smoked Gauloises and Gitanes while I was there just to be a pretentious cunt.

French cities are quite the opposite to British ones: the central parts are very pleasant and safe, whereas the suburbs are fucking horrific, most look like Chechnya after it got bombed to fuck in the late 90's.

Another good thing about Marseille is that just outside there is a Haribo superstore the size of a supermarket. You can literally go round the aisles with a trolly and buy sweets in massive amounts.

I consumed a fuck-ton of gummi-bears when I was over there, which as any connoisseur will tell you is the finest confectionary ever invented.

Memries...
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Aye
I had a similar (diabetic) experience last (only) time I visited Pontefract
 

Jacobsenthecrab said:
They’ve got a cheek slagging Sheffield, Marseille is a hole.
The players have been instructed to live at least one hour outside the city for a number of years due to a spate of violent robberies targeting players homes.
Not a safe place for your family if you are high profile and wealthy.
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I think your last sentence could make Illies mind up for him, he seems a family man putting his family first Marseilles doesn't sound a good place for a sportsman to raise his family.plenty of time to play for them later in his career .
Sounds a really rough place Marseilles, being a port with all that brings..
 
Katzenjammer said:
Liquorice is the silent killer.

Too many Pontefract cakes is dicing with death. Anything over 100g may stop your heart due to potassium depletion.

Still rather partial to 'em mind.
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To be fair though a 1kg bag of Gummi Bears eaten in one go can cause an explosive shittening of the underpants. All good food comes with a side-order of danger ;)
 
I think iliman’s brain has switched on at the last minute. Of course, if your childhood club comes calling your head is going to be turned, but ultimately if he goes there for five years he’ll whittle away the early part of his career prime playing in a league no one really cares about for a team that are unlikely to win it, and more likely to be frustratingly inconsistent. He does a great year with us in the Prem and he will go to a serious club in Europe.
 
JPBrodie said:
I think iliman’s brain has switched on at the last minute. Of course, if your childhood club comes calling your head is going to be turned, but ultimately if he goes there for five years he’ll whittle away the early part of his career prime playing in a league no one really cares about for a team that are unlikely to win it, and more likely to be frustratingly inconsistent. He does a great year with us in the Prem and he will go to a serious club in Europe.
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I agree completely Also you can see Illy is a football addict, he wants to play, train, practice all the time The closed season must be a nightmare for him. Back with his mates over the last two weeks and he will have been thinking I love it here why throw it away
 
JPBrodie said:
I think iliman’s brain has switched on at the last minute. Of course, if your childhood club comes calling your head is going to be turned, but ultimately if he goes there for five years he’ll whittle away the early part of his career prime playing in a league no one really cares about for a team that are unlikely to win it, and more likely to be frustratingly inconsistent. He does a great year with us in the Prem and he will go to a serious club in Europe.
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Agreed, also don’t think it’s coincidental that he’s back training with the lads and a manager he clearly respects who will be in his ear 24/7

Seriously I think if he has a gooda season as lest he could be on the radar of Milan, PSG etc
Hope so cos at that stage he is better than a mid table French side
 
Well.....

This thread proved to be quite painfully premature didn't it?

I feel quite the fool 😬
 
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