tall tales of bramall lane and away days

[Tezza1889]

Well, I read the bristol city monkey incident and laughed, and thought to myself, wouldn't it be great to have a few stories on "mad days out" for the blades and what was funny, shoking or just plain wrong...

So as usual, I'll get the ball rolling....

May 5th 1990... away at leicester city, and I am stood with the now missus hoping for a big day out, so we are surrounded by all sorts of people in fancy dress, and a few lads a bit worse for wear on the ale... so, paul wood scores and the bloke next to us gets on his knees and puts his mates dick in his mouth as we are totally shocked out of our skin.. we try to celebrate, all confused it turned out to be a bet in the end, but it made me think what I was getting into following united...

Shocking I know, and I seen other stuff along the way too... but that was shocking, what's the most shocking/funny/unbelievable thing you've seen

 

[PeterNdlovu081]

When we got promoted in 1990 my Dad held a bloke's cock in his mouth for a bet.

 

[Tezza1889]

When we got promoted in 1990 my Dad held a bloke's cock in his mouth for a bet.

Was he in the stand at the back of the goal.. sk2 it said on the tickets???

Everybody was bladdererd...

 

[Tezza1889]

Something else funny that day, a lad got spat on through the fence that seperated us, so blade calls the city fan over to the fence and starts calling him a cnut etc, backs up and smashes his red hot pie into the fence, splitting it stright into the lads face, he was screaming and dragging gravy n pie out of his eyes..class...

 

[dublin 10 blade]

4 of us were on the ferry over from Dublin to Liverpool in the 80's , me to watch the Blades , them off to Manchester , when during a
massive drink and drug bender , in the middle of the night in the bar , after several warnings from the staff on the boat ,
one of the other guys decided to piss in several pint pots , then decided to drink it , I puked at this and he spent the night in some holding cell until we docked .

 

[Hartley Hare]

 

[cahill]

When we got promoted in 1990 my Dad held a bloke's cock in his mouth for a bet.

Just choked on my porridge with that one, at least I hope it was porridge LOL

 

[cahill]

During a Chesterfield home match in the 70's and in the corner of John street where all the bad lads used to gather to bait the opposition a bloke climbed to the top of the 15ft high fence keeping us animals off the pitch, threatening and swearing something alarming, he got to the top and fell off, backwards ! Oh how we all laughed.

Passed me at the Colchester match, he's got a motorised wheel chair now

 

[grafikhaus]

Something else funny that day, a lad got spat on through the fence that seperated us, so blade calls the city fan over to the fence and starts calling him a cnut etc, backs up and smashes his red hot pie into the fence, splitting it stright into the lads face, he was screaming and dragging gravy n pie out of his eyes..class...

Top day, was that. I was working in Croydon & manipulated a trip up to Leicester a week or so before the match to buy a ticket (no databases in those days!). I ended up, Billy No-Mates, in the upper tier behind the goal. The pre-kick-off atmosphere was, er, tense with nobody knowing who/where 'the lads' were.

Deciding to liven things up, I got up on my seat and started 'We're on the march with Bassett's Ar-my..!' If you've ever seen the mass brawl at the end of 'Blazing Saddles' it just about described what followed!

Blades Tales is a cracking book about those days. Highly recommended.

 

[Jon Bon]

Before the FA Cup replay at Oakwell in the late 80's, there were about 50 Blades stood outside a cafe near the ground, eating food and drinking mugs of hot tea and coffee. When they'd finished, instead of hurling the crockery at passing dingles, they almost all to a man, took the empty mugs inside and put them on the counter before putting their food wrappers and waste in the bin provided. It was hilarious, I'll never forget it.

 

[super_pig]

once went to Hull with the sportsman and the coach broke down.. it was a bit last minute so they put us on an East Riding bus.. no toilets.. some of the lads were a bit worse for wear and one needed a piss.. someone passed him a carrier bag and he proceeded to fill the bag almost to the top.. fucking unbelievable.. then he opened one of those big side windows and threw it at a passing car on the M18.. biggest waterbomb ever..
we lost edwards scored and started a riot

 

[Deleted member 875]

Where do i start?

Drinking my mates contact lenses in Blackpool after Preston away
LS26 Blade nearly getting arrested for giving a Policewoman an joke electric pen
Numerous trips to the Flying Scotsman. (ejected once as one of the lads tried taking a picture and left his flash on, resulting in a huge melee)
Meeting and becoming friends with Shred and numerous exciting adventures on his coach as a young lad
Getting told to fuck off by Neil Warnock at Saltash
Locked up at Newcastle
Luton away promotion party dressed up as the Tazmanian Devil
Waking up a tramp at Euston Station with a gift of a 3 litre bottle of White Lightening
One of the mates collapsing at Vicarage Road from Red Bull poisoning
Going to Exeter dressed up as a Gorilla
Nearly getting my head kicked in and chased by 20 locals at Hartlepool
Missing the last train home from London and had to spend the night sleeping outside St Pancras at 18
Getting treated like royalty at Raith Rovers
Walking through the park near the Fulham ground and seeing a bride and groom coming out of a posh church, and serenading them with "Does she take it up the arse"
Spending most of the match asleep at Loftus Road

That is just for starters......

One thing is for sure though, i have probably had some of my best ever days being a Blade, had some great times and some great laughs along the way, and more importantly, i don't think i have ever met a fellow travelling blade who i haven't liked.

 

[dublin 10 blade]

Reading through some of these posts , chuckling at some of the responses , then thinking I was at that game ,
me and my mates did this that and some of the other,
Like being still at school and taking a mini van to Stockport in the cup , and to Walsall cause we were fuckin rock at 15-16 .
Being the first mob ? To sit in the south stand , while everyone else stood - sat in John St stand .
Coming over from Ireland and chatting to man city's boys on there way to forest , and being asked why do you follow them ,
Because it's in my blood , was my reply . ( sorry bout that IIYB )
Was at the hull game super pig was at , and on one of those buses ,
Coming over from Ireland only to find match was off and about 70 of us went to Toytown cause Newcastle were playing , and it wasn't to watch the match .
This club that we follow got me through a dark time in my life , may not be the most glamorous club around but it means a fucking lot to us all .

 

[vorpal blade]

That's reminded me of one of my least comfortable nights ever. On a bench under the signal-box (its now a café) at York Station after a night at Bootham Crescent (that was the ground wasn't it?) having missed the train back to Donny. Only virtue was that the chocolate dispenser was actually dispensing shillings for free.

A very snowy night at Crewe (1982?) having to catch the mail train back to Liverpool at 2 or 3 in the morning.

And after the win at Leicester I had a nice chat with Clement Freud on the train to London.

 

[Jon Bon]

Well, I read the bristol city monkey incident and laughed, and thought to myself, wouldn't it be great to have a few stories on "mad days out" for the blades and what was funny, shoking or just plain wrong...

So as usual, I'll get the ball rolling....

May 5th 1990... away at leicester city, and I am stood with the now missus hoping for a big day out, so we are surrounded by all sorts of people in fancy dress, and a few lads a bit worse for wear on the ale... so, paul wood scores and the bloke next to us gets on his knees and puts his mates dick in his mouth as we are totally shocked out of our skin.. we try to celebrate, all confused it turned out to be a bet in the end, but it made me think what I was getting into following united...

Shocking I know, and I seen other stuff along the way too... but that was shocking, what's the most shocking/funny/unbelievable thing you've seen

S'funny cos my mate started doing that about 6 seasons ago, win, lose or draw. It did seem most bizarre at first but I just let him crack on with it as it felt kinda good in a bad way. I do wish he would swallow though, it doesn't taste that bad...

 

[Rollerball]

We were due to plat Rotherham I believe early 80's round xmas time, bout 30 of us catching 69 from pond street, we heard game was off because of snow/frozen pitch so decided to go, fully decked out in scarfs and shirts to s6 who were playing Newcastle , all covered up we got tickets in Wendy kop, when we were inside out came shirts n scarfs in middle of the "massive's" kop, expecting a riot we noticed all round us happy smiling faces, in the middle of Wendy's kop are 200 toon fans and 30 blades, Wendy lost i think and we had a great day with the toon army boys.

Another time walking from chesterfield station to salter gate in middle of maybe 2,000 blades all singing, police let off 2 police dogs, I had arse ripped out of £60 jeans by a fooking rabid police dog.
As said we might not be the most glamorous or successful but we blades know how to enjoy a match day away from home.

Incedently I too was on Torquay harbour for "the great boat race"

 

[alcoblade]

Skeggy away. Chatting a bird up in a nightclub after with the aim of;

Getting a shag
Getting a bed for the night

I asked one of the lads if he'd got any blobs, so he went off to the car to fetch some. I'm busy trying to convince this lass that I want to get to know her, and no, I really don't want to bend one up her. My mate arrives and, from about 30 yards away, chucks a pack of blobs which landed right in the top of my pint, splashing me and the lass, as I was mid sentence "I don't want to sha.............."

Still got back to her caravan and nearly buried the beef bayonette, until she declared she was 15 and her dad was in the next Caravan.

I froze my knackers off for the rest of the night on Skegness Sea front.

UTB

 

[alcoblade]

Coming home from Norwich in a van of likely lads, we walk into a packed Little Chef and you can hear a pin drop, all the poor families probably scared to death. There's barely a word spoken in the place, until my mate lets the loudest bottom burp go. The entire place, Mums, Dads and kids were rolling around laughing, like a scene from a Smash advert.

Always tickles me remembering that.

UTB

 

[alcoblade]

My only appearance on National TV - on the pitch at Leicester. A few times.

"Please keep off the pitch"



UTB

 

[Sirius]

Where do i start?

Drinking my mates contact lenses in Blackpool after Preston away
LS26 Blade nearly getting arrested for giving a Policewoman an joke electric pen
Numerous trips to the Flying Scotsman. (ejected once as one of the lads tried taking a picture and left his flash on, resulting in a huge melee)
Meeting and becoming friends with Shred and numerous exciting adventures on his coach as a young lad
Getting told to fuck off by Neil Warnock at Saltash
Locked up at Newcastle
Luton away promotion party dressed up as the Tazmanian Devil
Waking up a tramp at Euston Station with a gift of a 3 litre bottle of White Lightening
One of the mates collapsing at Vicarage Road from Red Bull poisoning
Going to Exeter dressed up as a Gorilla
Nearly getting my head kicked in and chased by 20 locals at Hartlepool
Missing the last train home from London and had to spend the night sleeping outside St Pancras at 18
Getting treated like royalty at Raith Rovers
Walking through the park near the Fulham ground and seeing a bride and groom coming out of a posh church, and serenading them with "Does she take it up the arse"
Spending most of the match asleep at Loftus Road

That is just for starters......

One thing is for sure though, i have probably had some of my best ever days being a Blade, had some great times and some great laughs along the way, and more importantly, i don't think i have ever met a fellow travelling blade who i haven't liked.

Fantastic Brownie An advanced state of refreshment it is the Blades way. Top man

 

[grafikhaus]

Before the FA Cup replay at Oakwell in the late 80's, there were about 50 Blades stood outside a cafe near the ground, eating food and drinking mugs of hot tea and coffee. When they'd finished, instead of hurling the crockery at passing dingles, they almost all to a man, took the empty mugs inside and put them on the counter before putting their food wrappers and waste in the bin provided. It was hilarious, I'll never forget it.

Obviously not the same lads who reduced the burger bar behind 'our' end to fucking matchwood by the end of the game!

Skeggy away. Chatting a bird up in a nightclub after with the aim of;

Getting a shag
Getting a bed for the night

I asked one of the lads if he'd got any blobs, so he went off to the car to fetch some. I'm busy trying to convince this lass that I want to get to know her, and no, I really don't want to bend one up her. My mate arrives and, from about 30 yards away, chucks a pack of blobs which landed right in the top of my pint, splashing me and the lass, as I was mid sentence "I don't want to sha.............."

Still got back to her caravan and nearly buried the beef bayonette, until she declared she was 15 and her dad was in the next Caravan.

I froze my knackers off for the rest of the night on Skegness Sea front.

UTB

Ah, alco. At a time of Valentine's Day and '50 Shades of Grey', it's good to know that romance isn't dead!

 

[Kenilworth]

When we got promoted in 1990 my Dad held a bloke's cock in his mouth for a bet.

Double like. PMSL with tears rolling down my face

Your best EVER post Pedro