Six of the Bizarre - The most bizarre performances I have seen at The Lane

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Jimmy23

Jimmy23

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Only counting games I’ve attended, and weirdly enough it’s taken me about 30 seconds to come up with 6. The teams in bold in each selection are the team that gave the bizarre performance. In no particular order:

1 United 4-4 Exeter (2011/12)

I vaguely remember that was the season where Exeter survived on the last day, whereas we were flying high up until match day 43/44. Going into it we expected goals, maybe even a hat trick for our newly found cult hero Matty Phillips who couldn’t stop shaking the back of the onion bag around this time…turns out Exeter had other ideas. Went 2-0 up, then came back and made us look like mugs by the end of the 90. Don’t think anyone in the ground saw it coming.

2 United 2-2 Brentford (2012/13)
The ‘fake’ battle of Bramall Lane - 3 reds, 4 pens (2 missed) and a game where both teams had soo many chances to capitalise on but didn’t. We needed to win to flirt with the top 2 after Chris Morgan was given the green light to take us to the end of the season as this was an April match. Didn’t happen in the end, I felt very mentally drained after this one with a touch of disappointment.

3 United 3-3 Blackpool (2022/23)
Similar to no 2, think there were 4 reds and 1 pen this time. However this was an October clash which again I expected us to win quite comfortably, even more so after Mcatee and Ndaiye put us 2-0. Then 2-2, then 2-3? And to be honest I thought It’d stay that way after Brewster missed that penalty. But all in all Blackpool came with a plan and it worked.

4 United 4-5 Fulham (2017/18)
Another game where I felt mentally drained after coming out of the ground. I’d felt like Dynamo had visited me and cursed me with sudden memory loss as I couldn’t even remember where I had parked the car as I was confused as to what I’d just witnessed. Went a goal up, then they came and swarmed us with a bit of Ryan Sessegon who scored 3. By the 65th min it was 5-2 and game over, but then we’d scored 2 and I believe we had about 5 mins to find an equaliser but couldn’t. Leon scoring his second Hatrick in consecutive games.

5 United A-A West Brom (2001/02)
THAT game, the first ever English professional game to be abandoned due to lack of players. The original battle of Bramall lane. What on earth happened here? Enough said

6 United 2-3 Oldham (2011/12)
Another one from the 11/12 season. March, sunshine, easy three points for us and 2-0 up at half time with Lowton and Evans on the scoresheet. Beautiful time to be alive, got a call from Haybrook saying my offer had been accepted on a first house! Everything was going absolutely swimmingly!! Loving every——…?????…
….By the 65th min, it was 2-2 and Harry Maguire got sent off. Kuqi scored a last min penalty and the relegation strugglers completed a very bizarre turnaround. I take my hat off to their performance as it should have been more than 3.
 

Jimmy23 said:
6 United 2-3 Oldham (2011/12)
Another one from the 11/12 season. March, sunshine, easy three points for us and 2-0 up at half time with Lowton and Evans on the scoresheet. Beautiful time to be alive, got a call from Haybrook saying my offer had been accepted on a first house! Everything was going absolutely swimmingly!! Loving every——…?????…
….By the 65th min, it was 2-2 and Harry Maguire got sent off. Kuqi scored a last min penalty and the relegation strugglers completed a very bizarre turnaround. I take my hat off to their performance as it should have been more than 3.
Click to expand...

The start of a mini wobble which would prove very costly at the end of the season. Real sliding doors moment.
 
United 5 Huddersfield 1, 1988-9

Huddersfield dominated the game until 10 mins from time when they folded. They missed a pen at 0-0. Duffield scored a pen and a wonder strike either side of HT before they laid siege to us for half an hour, pulling one back. Andy May scored an own goal and then they collapsed and Deane and Agana gave the score line a very weird look.

United 4 Birmingham 4, 1996-7

0-2, 4-2, 4-4. It is rare you see both teams look so good and so useless in the same 90 minutes.
 
Revolution said:
United 4 Birmingham 4, 1996-7

0-2, 4-2, 4-4. It is rare you see both teams look so good and so useless in the same 90 minutes.
Click to expand...

Bookies with a "two goal up early payout" feature then would have had fun with that one
 
Jimmy23 said:
….By the 65th min, it was 2-2 and Harry Maguire got sent off. Kuqi scored a last min penalty and the relegation strugglers completed a very bizarre turnaround. I take my hat off to their performance as it should have been more than 3.
Click to expand...
I maintain that Maguire should have let him go through. That sending off left us so short at the back we had to play (emergency loan?) John Egan against Walsall the following midweek - and promptly conceded 3 really ropey goals.

Had Maguire played we may have got at least a point, possibly all 3.
 
Here’s another one. Two bizarre performances by the same team.

Swansea City’s 0-4 and 0-3 defeats to us at the Lane in the last 2 seasons.

From first minute to last in both games, there was this bizarre self defeating insistence on trying to play out from the back despite the fact that it was manifestly obvious that it wasn’t working and United were taking the ball off them far too easily. If we could have finished better we’d have won both games 6-0.

Possession without purpose: the Swansea way.
 
Jimmy23 said:
Only counting games I’ve attended, and weirdly enough it’s taken me about 30 seconds to come up with 6. The teams in bold in each selection are the team that gave the bizarre performance. In no particular order:

1 United 4-4 Exeter (2011/12)

I vaguely remember that was the season where Exeter survived on the last day, whereas we were flying high up until match day 43/44. Going into it we expected goals, maybe even a hat trick for our newly found cult hero Matty Phillips who couldn’t stop shaking the back of the onion bag around this time…turns out Exeter had other ideas. Went 2-0 up, then came back and made us look like mugs by the end of the 90. Don’t think anyone in the ground saw it coming.

2 United 2-2 Brentford (2012/13)
The ‘fake’ battle of Bramall Lane - 3 reds, 4 pens (2 missed) and a game where both teams had soo many chances to capitalise on but didn’t. We needed to win to flirt with the top 2 after Chris Morgan was given the green light to take us to the end of the season as this was an April match. Didn’t happen in the end, I felt very mentally drained after this one with a touch of disappointment.

3 United 3-3 Blackpool (2022/23)
Similar to no 2, think there were 4 reds and 1 pen this time. However this was an October clash which again I expected us to win quite comfortably, even more so after Mcatee and Ndaiye put us 2-0. Then 2-2, then 2-3? And to be honest I thought It’d stay that way after Brewster missed that penalty. But all in all Blackpool came with a plan and it worked.

4 United 4-5 Fulham (2017/18)
Another game where I felt mentally drained after coming out of the ground. I’d felt like Dynamo had visited me and cursed me with sudden memory loss as I couldn’t even remember where I had parked the car as I was confused as to what I’d just witnessed. Went a goal up, then they came and swarmed us with a bit of Ryan Sessegon who scored 3. By the 65th min it was 5-2 and game over, but then we’d scored 2 and I believe we had about 5 mins to find an equaliser but couldn’t. Leon scoring his second Hatrick in consecutive games.

5 United A-A West Brom (2001/02)
THAT game, the first ever English professional game to be abandoned due to lack of players. The original battle of Bramall lane. What on earth happened here? Enough said

6 United 2-3 Oldham (2011/12)
Another one from the 11/12 season. March, sunshine, easy three points for us and 2-0 up at half time with Lowton and Evans on the scoresheet. Beautiful time to be alive, got a call from Haybrook saying my offer had been accepted on a first house! Everything was going absolutely swimmingly!! Loving every——…?????…
….By the 65th min, it was 2-2 and Harry Maguire got sent off. Kuqi scored a last min penalty and the relegation strugglers completed a very bizarre turnaround. I take my hat off to their performance as it should have been more than 3.
Click to expand...
United 5-4 Brighton
Was a strange game 3-1 up , 3-4 down finally won 5-4

United 7-2 Oldham
Zenith data systems cup 0-2 down very early on and went on to hit 7
Still the only time I've seen us score more than 6 in a game
 
Revolution said:
United 5 Huddersfield 1, 1988-9

Huddersfield dominated the game until 10 mins from time when they folded. They missed a pen at 0-0. Duffield scored a pen and a wonder strike either side of HT before they laid siege to us for half an hour, pulling one back. Andy May scored an own goal and then they collapsed and Deane and Agana gave the score line a very weird look.

United 4 Birmingham 4, 1996-7

0-2, 4-2, 4-4. It is rare you see both teams look so good and so useless in the same 90 minutes.
Click to expand...

My main memory of that game is the absolute barracking Gary Ablett got from the Kop as it was the first time he came back to BDTBL after his loan when he went to Birmingham instead of coming back to us.

Shouts of Judas and people waving tenners at him. Then a chant of 'Ablett, what's the score' when we went two in front. Very amusing.
 
Rochdaleblade said:
And me. Only just woke up!



Main memory is of Steve Bruce setting up Walker for our 4th. About half of the players that day would play for both clubs.
Click to expand...


Is that the demolition of old John Street stand on the far sideline?
 
I think that Dave Bassett called it 'Fred West's Garden'..
 

I
Selly said:
I maintain that Maguire should have let him go through. That sending off left us so short at the back we had to play (emergency loan?) John Egan against Walsall the following midweek - and promptly conceded 3 really ropey goals.

Had Maguire played we may have got at least a point, possibly all 3.
Click to expand...
If I remember rightly it all went wrong when Oldham pulled one back early in the second half. A corner went in off Creswell and then Lowton had a scuffle with an Oldham player tried to.take the ball back to the centre spot, resulting in bookings for both of them.

More or less immediately Maguire whacked one against the Oldham bar and as it came out to an Oldham player on the edge of the box, Lowton lunged at him, getting a 2nd yellow.

Had the Maguire shot gone in, we would have cruised to.something like a 5-1 win. As it happens, Oldham.some equalised against the ten men.

We did well to.hold it to 2-2 till the last min, when the pen and sending off happened. You're absolutely right Maguire should have let him go. The ball was actually running away from Kuqi and there was a good chance Simonsen would have smootherd it. Though it was Simonsen...
 
wak1889 said:
United 5-4 Brighton
Was a strange game 3-1 up , 3-4 down finally won 5-4

United 7-2 Oldham
Zenith data systems cup 0-2 down very early on and went on to hit 7
Still the only time I've seen us score more than 6 in a game
Click to expand...
Was stood on the kop for both of those. That John Francis diving header v Brighton in the last minute will stay with me forever. I was right behind the goal.
 
Rochdaleblade said:
And me. Only just woke up!



Main memory is of Steve Bruce setting up Walker for our 4th. About half of the players that day would play for both clubs.
Click to expand...

My little 6 year old in the black jacket with white sleeves cheering Walker's header around 2.23 - I'm in there somewhere too :)
 
Programmechap2 said:
I

If I remember rightly it all went wrong when Oldham pulled one back early in the second half. A corner went in off Creswell and then Lowton had a scuffle with an Oldham player tried to.take the ball back to the centre spot, resulting in bookings for both of them.

More or less immediately Maguire whacked one against the Oldham bar and as it came out to an Oldham player on the edge of the box, Lowton lunged at him, getting a 2nd yellow.

Had the Maguire shot gone in, we would have cruised to.something like a 5-1 win. As it happens, Oldham.some equalised against the ten men.

We did well to.hold it to 2-2 till the last min, when the pen and sending off happened. You're absolutely right Maguire should have let him go. The ball was actually running away from Kuqi and there was a good chance Simonsen would have smootherd it. Though it was Simonsen...
Click to expand...

I honestly think Lowton sliding in like a pillock was the reason we didn't go up, expanding on what Klaatu Barada Nikto said.
 
Blades 6 Orient 3, March 1984, Div 3. Promotion chasing United went into a two goal lead and looked to be heading for a routine home victory, then Orient scored 3 times. A bloke near me on the Kop shouted "Fuck off United". Then in the last twenty minutes Edwards and Morris put on a master class as we blitzed the Londoners to make it 6-3.
 
VLYDONIMIR said:
View attachment 176276

BBC SPORT | Football | Championship | Sheff Utd 3-2 Sheff Wed

news.bbc.co.uk news.bbc.co.uk

View attachment 176278



LydonSnr and ourselves left Bramall Lane that night hardly
celebrating the victory as it felt like the opportunity to
avenge 1979 United would never have the finest opportunity.
Click to expand...

I remember that game well, we were on holiday abroad at the time so set the Sky box in advance to record it, avoided the result and watched 'as-live' as soon as we got home, Likely Lads style.

Taking the long view, I always think of half-time in that game as being the precise moment we stopped seriously looking like a promotion contender and began our slow-motion collapse into League One.
 
Luton 3 sheffield united 6
Notts forest 2 sheffield united 5
Sheffield united 5 Brighton 4.
Sheffield united v West Brom match abandoned.
Sheffield united 7 Northampton 3
Arsenal v sheffield united , fa cup match which had to be replayed after arsenal admitted cheating .
Portsmouth v sheffield united, the scenes were unreal, a blades fan ran on the pitch and knocked the linesman out and he ended up doing jail. Such a long delay and rumour was it was going to be called off.
Sheffield united 6 Chester City 0, a hatrick for deane and a hatrick for agana in same match .
I could also throw in sheffield united 1 udinese 2, Anglo Italian cup and the sendings off and their cheating
 

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