Dear Stephen Quinn,
I watched you when you first played for Sheffield United, and if you look back on those performances you will see something that seems to be very rare in your play nowadays.
I refer of course to basic passing, playing the ball with the instep of your foot, as opposed to trying to look like Messi with a flick of your heel, a crafty swipe with the outside of your boot, or some other kind of hopeful but woefully misplaced attempt to divert the ball towards another player, occasionally even wearing the same colour shirt as you, or perhaps to one of theose nice ball boys.
To put it simply Stephen, stop fannying and fart-arsing around and pass the fucking ball with a simple kicking motion. You used to be quite good at it before you decided being an Irish short-arse wasn't for you and you rather liked the idea of being a Spanish show-off.
I don't believe for one minute that you have suddenly turned into a shit player who is terrified of the ball, but you aren't helping yourself laddie. Please try and do the simple stuff well instead of the complicated stuff terribly.
Cheers.
P.S. Shave that bloody beard off. You look like a Fraggle.