1. Oli McBurnie gets a banning order from all football grounds, for 3 years, after setting off a smoke bomb at the Swansea v Millwall, play-off final. His contract is subsequently terminated and he takes up a new career in adult film, alongside wife, Elle.
2. Roy, of “Roy’s View From” fame, has a tv career take off and ends up winning “I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here” in 2023. Regularly appears on day time tv shows, such as Lose Women, providing views from the likes of Rebekah Vardy on the emerging bushfire crisis that has hit rural England. All other “Views from“ are outsourced to Ben from the podcast, who now co-presents the show with Sean Bean.
3. Billy Sharp retires at the end of the 20/21 season, having scored in the Europa League final versus Seville (we lose on penalties after a pigeon flies in the way of Basham’s shot, preventing it from going in the top corner). Billy has an open invitation retirement party on London Road that lasts 4 days, preventing any traffic from moving freely south out of the city, as fans congregate outside the pubs. All pubs are then forced to close forever by SCC.
4. United’s move to the new training base at Norton proves a success, thanks to the contamination at the site, which inadvertently has made each player 50% quicker at running, overnight.
5. Chris Wilder is given a contract for life and told to just ‘withdraw whatever he wants’ for his wages. In the first week he’s quoted as saying he only took a tenner out for the bus into town. The city centre now has a 50ft statue of (the now) Sir Chris Wilder, situated where Goodwin Fountain once stood, at the top of Fargate.
