shorehamview
Pink Sambuca drinking World Champion.
As we all seem bored bloody rigid waiting for the season to start, I have a game for you for the next two weeks.
Bingo!
Ish.
Points to yourself for the following -
Watching a totally one-sided game between two teams around six divisions apart, featuring several youth team players and a "triallist" who either looks fantastic, or couldn't hit a cow's arse with a banjo.
The first sight of a fan wearing the new shirt with a new signings name and number on the back.
Going down to the club shop without any intention of buying anything, and spending over £50.
Sneaking a look at the pitch.
Hearing some idiot at a pre-season game asking why we don't try and sign a player we obviously can't afford, like Drogba, Rooney or Kaka.
New picture of The Fat Family put up on Facebook? One point.
Watching old matches on ESPN Classic.
Watching old Blades videos.
Making the dog go in net for a game of back garden footy. Moaning that he's either quicker than Alan Kelly, or worse than Fatty Pressman. Making the dog wear a United shirt gets an extra point.
Reading old programmes.
Re-reading any United books, for the umpteenth time.
Getting a new pet and naming it after a player, or Blackwell.
Taking a longer route in the car just to drive past the Lane.
Reading any old trivial shite in the papers as long as it's football related. Cristiano's poorly foot and mahogany tan? It's footy, it counts.
Fantasizing about which WAG you'd like to shag. Or be. Or both.
Wondering why Chris Morgan looks like he could kill you for the fun of it but sounds like a camp flight attendant from AirDingle.
Trying to be interested in the golf, tennis, Olympics, cricket or any other non football sport. Failing as they are all crap. Especially tennis.
Spotting a current or ex player while out and about and getting more excited than a three year old does at Barney The Dinosaur.
Getting said player's autograph, or a picture with them.
Extra point if you've interrupted a nice meal either they or you were eating just to pester the crap out of them.
Spotting a fellow fan and greeting them like they've been up the Amazon for the last three years, when the last time you saw them was away at Southampton.
Finding a bar on holiday with a Blades shirt hanging up in it.
Spotting a fellow Blade when abroad. Skeggy is NOT abroad.
Bingo!
Ish.
Points to yourself for the following -
Watching a totally one-sided game between two teams around six divisions apart, featuring several youth team players and a "triallist" who either looks fantastic, or couldn't hit a cow's arse with a banjo.
The first sight of a fan wearing the new shirt with a new signings name and number on the back.
Going down to the club shop without any intention of buying anything, and spending over £50.
Sneaking a look at the pitch.
Hearing some idiot at a pre-season game asking why we don't try and sign a player we obviously can't afford, like Drogba, Rooney or Kaka.
New picture of The Fat Family put up on Facebook? One point.
Watching old matches on ESPN Classic.
Watching old Blades videos.
Making the dog go in net for a game of back garden footy. Moaning that he's either quicker than Alan Kelly, or worse than Fatty Pressman. Making the dog wear a United shirt gets an extra point.
Reading old programmes.
Re-reading any United books, for the umpteenth time.
Getting a new pet and naming it after a player, or Blackwell.
Taking a longer route in the car just to drive past the Lane.
Reading any old trivial shite in the papers as long as it's football related. Cristiano's poorly foot and mahogany tan? It's footy, it counts.
Fantasizing about which WAG you'd like to shag. Or be. Or both.
Wondering why Chris Morgan looks like he could kill you for the fun of it but sounds like a camp flight attendant from AirDingle.
Trying to be interested in the golf, tennis, Olympics, cricket or any other non football sport. Failing as they are all crap. Especially tennis.
Spotting a current or ex player while out and about and getting more excited than a three year old does at Barney The Dinosaur.
Getting said player's autograph, or a picture with them.
Extra point if you've interrupted a nice meal either they or you were eating just to pester the crap out of them.
Spotting a fellow fan and greeting them like they've been up the Amazon for the last three years, when the last time you saw them was away at Southampton.
Finding a bar on holiday with a Blades shirt hanging up in it.
Spotting a fellow Blade when abroad. Skeggy is NOT abroad.
