Mustard anyone?

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Ainsley Harriott

I saw this thing on itv the other week
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Mustard away.

And I know there’s a few ‘name your source/sauce jokes’ in there.

It’s yellow.
 



Goes well with gammon.

Other racist slurs are available.
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John Gammon?
 
Once met a young lady on a night out in chez, took her back to my mates house, and ended up mostly naked in his kitchen.......she took it upon herself to lean over the cooker, whilst inviting me to join her, let's say....
During an act of "passion", I noticed an open pot of mustard on the side.....
I don't know why, but I dipped my finger into the Coleman's English Mustard, and proceeded to then poke my finger, somewhere, she wasn't exactly expecting!!!
The next few seconds were quite exhilarating to say the least!
I got a slap, a few choice words, and a door slammed as she left..........it was a memorable night to say the least!!!

I also have a cunning trick with chocolate buttons, but il save that story for another day.
 
Once met a young lady on a night out in chez, took her back to my mates house, and ended up mostly naked in his kitchen.......she took it upon herself to lean over the cooker, whilst inviting me to join her, let's say....
During an act of "passion", I noticed an open pot of mustard on the side.....
I don't know why, but I dipped my finger into the Coleman's English Mustard, and proceeded to then poke my finger, somewhere, she wasn't exactly expecting!!!
The next few seconds were quite exhilarating to say the least!
I got a slap, a few choice words, and a door slammed as she left..........it was a memorable night to say the least!!!
I also have a cunning trick with chocolate buttons, but il save that story for another day.
Schoolboy error. Everyone knows you're supposed to use French mustard in that situation!
 
Once met a young lady on a night out in chez, took her back to my mates house, and ended up mostly naked in his kitchen.......she took it upon herself to lean over the cooker, whilst inviting me to join her, let's say....
During an act of "passion", I noticed an open pot of mustard on the side.....
I don't know why, but I dipped my finger into the Coleman's English Mustard, and proceeded to then poke my finger, somewhere, she wasn't exactly expecting!!!
The next few seconds were quite exhilarating to say the least!
I got a slap, a few choice words, and a door slammed as she left..........it was a memorable night to say the least!!!

I also have a cunning trick with chocolate buttons, but il save that story for another day.

Hero.
 
0B928B7E-774C-474E-A50A-27407D3D2DE8.jpeg
Once met a young lady on a night out in chez, took her back to my mates house, and ended up mostly naked in his kitchen.......she took it upon herself to lean over the cooker, whilst inviting me to join her, let's say....
During an act of "passion", I noticed an open pot of mustard on the side.....
I don't know why, but I dipped my finger into the Coleman's English Mustard, and proceeded to then poke my finger, somewhere, she wasn't exactly expecting!!!
The next few seconds were quite exhilarating to say the least!
I got a slap, a few choice words, and a door slammed as she left..........it was a memorable night to say the least!!!

I also have a cunning trick with chocolate buttons, but il save that story for another day.
 

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