Four Four Two Magazine fans help

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Hey everyone, I'm currently on working for Four Four Two magazine and as part of our forthcoming Football League special issue, we're looking to publish a collection of the funniest fan stories from across the Football League THIS season and were wondering if you or any of you Blades fans were able to help? Many of the stories will be appear in the magazine.

The stories can be about anyone at the club – player, manager, chairman, club employee – or something you've witnessed inside or outside the ground this season, concerning the home or away fans. Or it could simply be something bizarre you've seen or a funny chant.

Here is an example of the kind of thing we're after.

Sign him up, sign him up
"Just as our game against Crewe was about to kick-off last week (I'm a Brentford fan), out of nowhere a Siberian Husky scampers across the pitch like something from a Winalot advert. As it frolics on the pitch, looking genuinely pleased with itself, some of the players attempt to usher it back into the stands. Not Crewe's No.9 Matthias Pogba, though. The hulking centre forward appears to yelp as the friendly canine trotts by him, much to the obvious delight of my fellow Bees. After serenading the eager mut - "sign him up, sign him up" - we turn our attention to Pogba. As well as barking at him every time he touches the ball, we chant: “Matthias Pogba, he’s scared of a dog!” Pogba's look of utter confusion only adds to the hilarity, as we go on to win 3-1."
Darren F, Brentford fan

This is a great chance to get yourself in the magazine. Email me with your stories at [email protected] or just post in here if easier.

Thanks for reading,

Joel Goldman
 

At the last home match against Bristol City (I'm a Sheffield fan), I went to one of the fast food kiosks at the back of the Kop (that's the Sheffield end) and asked for a hotdog. Imagine my surprise when a rather red faced, out of breath, Siberian Husky popped it's head over the counter and said "Yes, what do you want mate?" The funny thing is, I'm well versed in the Food Standards Hygiene Regulations which requires food business operators to have adequate procedures in place to prevent domestic animals from having access to places where food is prepared, handled or stored, or in special cases to prevent such access from resulting in contamination, so I immediately reported this to the correct authority, resulting in much hilarity all around. Luckily, the proprietor also saw the funny side of it and you could see him visibly shaking with laughter as he was dragged into the back of an unmarked van by two men in black suits and sunglasses.

Jonathan Bonathan, Sheffield fan
 
I liked it best when we said we would go to that place and do that thing we liked. Then, when we went to that place and did that thing we liked, that thing happened.

#lool #epicbantz # realfans.

No?
 
Anything from this season lads? I thought you Blades fans would have loads!

Joel
Four Four Two
 
I was down the Oasis gym the other day in my United shirt when a bloke came up to me and said

"you're a Blade"
"yes" I said
"Are you going up to watch the Forest game on Sunday" he said
"No" I said
"oh" he said...... "fancy coming back to mine for some rumpy pumpy?"
 
FourFourTwoFans said:
Hey everyone, I'm currently on working for Four Four Two magazine and as part of our forthcoming Football League special issue, we're looking to publish a collection of the funniest fan stories from across the Football League THIS season and were wondering if you or any of you Blades fans were able to help? Many of the stories will be appear in the magazine.

The stories can be about anyone at the club – player, manager, chairman, club employee – or something you've witnessed inside or outside the ground this season, concerning the home or away fans. Or it could simply be something bizarre you've seen or a funny chant.

Here is an example of the kind of thing we're after.

Sign him up, sign him up
"Just as our game against Crewe was about to kick-off last week (I'm a Brentford fan), out of nowhere a Siberian Husky scampers across the pitch like something from a Winalot advert. As it frolics on the pitch, looking genuinely pleased with itself, some of the players attempt to usher it back into the stands. Not Crewe's No.9 Matthias Pogba, though. The hulking centre forward appears to yelp as the friendly canine trotts by him, much to the obvious delight of my fellow Bees. After serenading the eager mut - "sign him up, sign him up" - we turn our attention to Pogba. As well as barking at him every time he touches the ball, we chant: “Matthias Pogba, he’s scared of a dog!” Pogba's look of utter confusion only adds to the hilarity, as we go on to win 3-1."
Darren F, Brentford fan

This is a great chance to get yourself in the magazine. Email me with your stories at [email protected] or just post in here if easier.

Thanks for reading,

Joel Goldman
Click to expand...
If that's the stuff you are after, hence the comments. It's pants mate. But the funniest thing that has happened this season is the Wendy fans already planning their semi trip to Wembley, after an "easy QF" against us. Imagine their surprise when Charlton hadn't read the script. Oh how we laughed.
 
I bought a copy of Four Four Two once thinking I would get insight and entertainment about all things football related.
Imagine my surprise when I opened it to find it was full of advertisements for stuff I neither wanted nor needed and it pandered to the Glory Hunting Premier League saddos with nothing but trite, superfluous drivel in the articles.

Oh, how we did laugh about it



... and never bought another copy of that useless rag again.
 
FourFourTwoFans said:
Hey everyone, I'm currently on working for Four Four Two magazine and as part of our forthcoming Football League special issue, we're looking to publish a collection of the funniest fan stories from across the Football League THIS season and were wondering if you or any of you Blades fans were able to help? Many of the stories will be appear in the magazine.

The stories can be about anyone at the club – player, manager, chairman, club employee – or something you've witnessed inside or outside the ground this season, concerning the home or away fans. Or it could simply be something bizarre you've seen or a funny chant.

Here is an example of the kind of thing we're after.

Sign him up, sign him up
"Just as our game against Crewe was about to kick-off last week (I'm a Brentford fan), out of nowhere a Siberian Husky scampers across the pitch like something from a Winalot advert. As it frolics on the pitch, looking genuinely pleased with itself, some of the players attempt to usher it back into the stands. Not Crewe's No.9 Matthias Pogba, though. The hulking centre forward appears to yelp as the friendly canine trotts by him, much to the obvious delight of my fellow Bees. After serenading the eager mut - "sign him up, sign him up" - we turn our attention to Pogba. As well as barking at him every time he touches the ball, we chant: “Matthias Pogba, he’s scared of a dog!” Pogba's look of utter confusion only adds to the hilarity, as we go on to win 3-1."
Darren F, Brentford fan

This is a great chance to get yourself in the magazine. Email me with your stories at [email protected] or just post in here if easier.

Thanks for reading,

Joel Goldman
Click to expand...
Did you laugh at this anecdote? did you Joel really? I didn't.
 
FourFourTwoFans said:
The stories can be about anyone at the club – player, manager, chairman, club employee – or something you've witnessed inside or outside the ground this season, concerning the home or away fans. Or it could simply be something bizarre you've seen or a funny chant.
Click to expand...

The funniest thing about that story is the Brentford fans clearly didn't see the two Brentford fans shit themselves way before Pogba did... Sorry, don't know their names. Player A & Player B will do.

 

There was once a bog roll shortage in the toilets at the back of the Kop so some bloke improvised by wiping his arse on a copy of Four Four Two magazine.

Oh how we laughed.
 
mattbianco1 said:
The funniest thing about that story is the Brentford fans clearly didn't see the two Brentford fans shit themselves way before Pogba did... Sorry, don't know their names. Player A & Player B will do.

Click to expand...

This dog ended Chic Brodie's playing career. Brentford's keeper never played again after this freak injury

 
Heard a good story about a Middleboro fan (lets call him John Smith) Don't know if it's true or not, but a good story nonetheless.

Middlesboro were playing away at Blackpool in a pre season friendly and John Smith was in a pub after the game absolutely plastered with some other Middlesboro fans.
He was so drunk that his fellow supporters couldn't find out who he was or couldn't figure out how he was going to get home so they carried him onto their coach where he duly passed out.
Upon reaching Middlesboro he was still out of it so the lads went through his pockets to try to look for identification and an address.
When they found his address the coach driver rather kindly said it's on my way back to the depot I'll take him home.

They got to his house and the coach driver started banging on the door, no answer.
So he banged and banged again until next door neighbours came out to see what was going on.

The driver said, "sorry but does John Smith live here?"

The neighbours said "Yes but you'll have to knock louder than that he's gone to Blackpool for a week with his wife and kids"
 
FourFourTwoFans said:
Here is an example of the kind of thing we're after.

Sign him up, sign him up
"Just as our game against Crewe was about to kick-off last week (I'm a Brentford fan), out of nowhere a Siberian Husky scampers across the pitch like something from a Winalot advert. As it frolics on the pitch, looking genuinely pleased with itself, some of the players attempt to usher it back into the stands. Not Crewe's No.9 Matthias Pogba, though. The hulking centre forward appears to yelp as the friendly canine trotts by him, much to the obvious delight of my fellow Bees. After serenading the eager mut - "sign him up, sign him up" - we turn our attention to Pogba. As well as barking at him every time he touches the ball, we chant: “Matthias Pogba, he’s scared of a dog!” Pogba's look of utter confusion only adds to the hilarity, as we go on to win 3-1."
Darren F, Brentford fan

This is a great chance to get yourself in the magazine. Email me with your stories at [email protected] or just post in here if easier.

Thanks for reading,

Joel Goldman
Click to expand...

Similar one to the Brentford fan. A few years ago i went to Crewe away (we were managed by Steve Thompson at the time).

Anyway, during the game a Siberian Husky didn't scamper across the pitch. in fact there were no dogs on the pitch at all. I wish there was. The game was shite. There was no fun and hilarity in this game at all, for us anyway. Pogba wasn't playing either.

I never saw Monty score either. I was there when we sang "tracksuit from matalan" at Speroni from Palace, but to be honest it wasn't really a highlight

Why do I always get the shit games?
 
4-4-2 magazine, keep up with times no fucker plays 4-4-2 now:D
 
I was at Bramall Lane (I'm a Liverpool fan but I have a very poor sense of direction) and this school leaver came up to me.

"I've just got a job at a magazine" he said "but I'm a lazy cunt. WIll you write it for me?"

I decked him, of course. That was fucking funny.
 
The Brayford's beard chants were quite funny, there'll be a thread on them somewhere (I did one a while back and there was a general chants thread the other day). Also clearly the cup run's been a highlight, along with the 'Benteke is wank x3, we've got Chris Porter, Benteke is wank.' I seem to be in a minority that actually like and subscribe to 4-4-2...
 
MBoreman said:
The Brayford's beard chants were quite funny, there'll be a thread on them somewhere (I did one a while back and there was a general chants thread the other day). Also clearly the cup run's been a highlight, along with the 'Benteke is wank x3, we've got Chris Porter, Benteke is wank.' I seem to be in a minority that actually like and subscribe to 4-4-2...
Click to expand...

At Villa Park, I couldn't tell what the Benteke chant was saying and asked Trig Jnr (TY). In a fine example of a child (27 years old these days), protecting his ageing Dad's sensitivity, he explained that the chant was dismissive of Benteke's ability as a footballer and that he was inferior to Chris Porter. That was funny on a footballing and personal level.

When Chris Porter came on v Forest, with about 2 minutes left and the score at 1-1, I thought the "if Porter scores, we're on the pitch" was so ridiculously unlikely, that was funny too. It was even funnier when we got the pen, he took it and scored. The subsequent pitch invasion wasn't funny, nor was the second one, after he bagged his even more improbable second goal about two minutes later.
 

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