FleaPitBlade
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On Saturday I refereed the Steel City Derby between Sheffield Wednesday and Sheffield United.
I couldn’t wait for the game. It was live on telly, what a brilliant opportunity for me to show what an amazing and great referee I am! My mum would be watching, she’s really proud of me and my biggest fan. She spent all Friday night ironing my kit, polishing my boots and sharpening my pencil for me.
Not long into the game Matt Willalon poked a foot at my favorite Wednesday player. He was clearly hurt, he was crying and there was a nasty scratch mark on his hip. At first I wasn’t sure what to do, I’d missed the tackle because I was busy checking out Deon Burton’s cute little bottom. I saw Mr. Laws indicating to me that he’d kung fu kicked him so decided to use my red card and show the world that Mike Dean doesn’t accept that kind of behavior on his watch. I bet everybody thought I was really hard. That’ll teach those nasty United players.
Gary Swede got angry with me in the second half. Something to do with Jermaine Johnson leaving his funny bone lodged in Kyle Burtons eye socket. Burton was fine, the doctors say they will be able to repair his cheekbone and he’ll be able to live a normal life with just one functioning eye. Besides that, Jermaine said how sorry he was, and gave me the puppy dog eyes, so I decided to let him off this once.
At referee’s school they teach you to be fair to both sides, but out here in the real world things are different, it would have upset those nice people from Barsley and Rotherham in the home stands if I’d have sent him off.
Later on, Jermaine was substituted by Mr Laws. He kicked a water bottle at the United manager, Kevin Blackwood, on his way to the bench. I don’t blame him, Mr Blackwood is nasty, he called me a swear word in the first half. The fourth official told me what Jermaine had done, I missed it because I was busy getting Sodje’s phone number after the substitution. I should have sent Jermain off but he’s my bestest special friend and I was going to let him off again until Mr Laws said he was in the shower. The thought of Jermaine all soapy sent shivers down my spine, so I made an excuse to call him back out so I could sneak a look at him in his towel.
Wednesday won and Mr Laws let me spend the night at his house because my mum couldn’t pick me up until the morning. We ordered a Domino’s pizza for tea and cuddled up on the sofa to watch a replay of the game.
I couldn’t wait for the game. It was live on telly, what a brilliant opportunity for me to show what an amazing and great referee I am! My mum would be watching, she’s really proud of me and my biggest fan. She spent all Friday night ironing my kit, polishing my boots and sharpening my pencil for me.
Not long into the game Matt Willalon poked a foot at my favorite Wednesday player. He was clearly hurt, he was crying and there was a nasty scratch mark on his hip. At first I wasn’t sure what to do, I’d missed the tackle because I was busy checking out Deon Burton’s cute little bottom. I saw Mr. Laws indicating to me that he’d kung fu kicked him so decided to use my red card and show the world that Mike Dean doesn’t accept that kind of behavior on his watch. I bet everybody thought I was really hard. That’ll teach those nasty United players.
Gary Swede got angry with me in the second half. Something to do with Jermaine Johnson leaving his funny bone lodged in Kyle Burtons eye socket. Burton was fine, the doctors say they will be able to repair his cheekbone and he’ll be able to live a normal life with just one functioning eye. Besides that, Jermaine said how sorry he was, and gave me the puppy dog eyes, so I decided to let him off this once.
At referee’s school they teach you to be fair to both sides, but out here in the real world things are different, it would have upset those nice people from Barsley and Rotherham in the home stands if I’d have sent him off.
Later on, Jermaine was substituted by Mr Laws. He kicked a water bottle at the United manager, Kevin Blackwood, on his way to the bench. I don’t blame him, Mr Blackwood is nasty, he called me a swear word in the first half. The fourth official told me what Jermaine had done, I missed it because I was busy getting Sodje’s phone number after the substitution. I should have sent Jermain off but he’s my bestest special friend and I was going to let him off again until Mr Laws said he was in the shower. The thought of Jermaine all soapy sent shivers down my spine, so I made an excuse to call him back out so I could sneak a look at him in his towel.
Wednesday won and Mr Laws let me spend the night at his house because my mum couldn’t pick me up until the morning. We ordered a Domino’s pizza for tea and cuddled up on the sofa to watch a replay of the game.
