Dear Agony Aunt.....

[Blade56]

When I look at the PL table I look who’s below us and how they’ve gone on.

When should I start looking at the teams above us?

Nervous of Sheffield United

 

[Shirty Blade]

Yep, me too!

 

[ZoneManWilf]

When I look at the PL table I look who’s below us and how they’ve gone on.

When should I start looking at the teams above us?

Nervous of Sheffield United

Dear Blade56

When we hit 40 points.

Regards,
Agony Wilf

 

[Cerberus Blade]

Did you keep your swimming trunks on in the showers after PE at school B56?

If so, I expect this goes some way to explaining your dilemma.

You are afraid to look up and realise, one day, you will be as good as them, or better. Instead you focus on your own chlorine-infested acorn and think it’s not yet quite good enough to share with the outside world.

Now is the time to rip off those Speedo’s and shout “Here I am!”.

The Prem is no different. We’ve been gazing up at the big boys in trepidation. But no more.

We have become one of the big boys!

Speedo’s off from now on matey!

 

[Blade56]

Did you keep your swimming trunks on in the showers after PE at school B56?

If so, I expect this goes some way to explaining your dilemma.

You are afraid to look up and realise, one day, you will be as good as them, or better. Instead you focus on your own chlorine-infested acorn and think it’s not yet quite good enough to share with the outside world.

Now is the time to rip off those Speedo’s and shout “Here I am!”.

The Prem is no different. We’ve been gazing up at the big boys in trepidation. But no more.

We have become one of the big boys!

Speedo’s off from now on matey!

Brilliant take a hundred likes

Here goes.........

​

 

[Le Cynique]

Did you keep your swimming trunks on in the showers after PE at school B56?

If so, I expect this goes some way to explaining your dilemma.

You are afraid to look up and realise, one day, you will be as good as them, or better. Instead you focus on your own chlorine-infested acorn and think it’s not yet quite good enough to share with the outside world.

Now is the time to rip off those Speedo’s and shout “Here I am!”.

The Prem is no different. We’ve been gazing up at the big boys in trepidation. But no more.

We have become one of the big boys!

Speedo’s off from now on matey!

Thanks a lot, now I’m not allowed in the swimming baths any more

 

[blade67]

I did the same at full time - 10 points clear of the drop. Hang on 4 points off Champions league places

Unbelievable times

 

[Cerberus Blade]

Thanks a lot, now I’m not allowed in the swimming baths any more

Has anyone mentioned anything to you about a "register"?

 

[Ainsley Harriott]

It's hardly 'Dear Miriam' is it?

'Dear Miriam,

I've got half a lasagne left but there's no room in the fridge.'

Incredible stuff.

 

[Blade56]

Dear AA,

Last time we were 10 points clear of the relegation spots I was flippant and said to my match mates we’re safe now. We collapsed in the second half of that season and were religated.

Should I be worried?

Nervous of Sheffield United

PS I think I’ve eaten too much lasagne, should I buy a bigger freezer?

 

[Cerberus Blade]

Dear AA,

Last time we were 10 points clear of the relegation spots I was flippant and said to my match mates we’re safe now. We collapsed in the second half of that season and were religated.

Should I be worried?

Nervous of Sheffield United

PS I think I’ve eaten too much lasagne, should I buy a bigger freezer?

Ah yes... now I see your problem.

You're one of these Blades who think if you say something it will backfire on you and be like a curse on the team. It's important to realise that making noises come out of your gob hole has no bearing whatsoever on the results of a football match. You can say whatever you like. You can even sing it if you want. You can hum it, yodel it, scream it out loud, whisper it softly. You can say it in English, you can say it Serbo-Croat or Bulgarian. It makes no difference to the result of a football match.

What you did wrong there was down to mathematical incompetence and a failure to recognise that the results of football games are purely down to the timing of fat ladies singing.

 

[CoatesyBlade]

Dear AA,

Last time we were 10 points clear of the relegation spots I was flippant and said to my match mates we’re safe now. We collapsed in the second half of that season and were religated.

Should I be worried?

Nervous of Sheffield United

PS I think I’ve eaten too much lasagne, should I buy a bigger freezer?

We didn't have CWAK in charge last time. This team is quite simply going from strength to strength. We were in a different league to Villa yesterday. Exciting times! UTB

 

[Snowman]

Dear Aunt Agony,

Do I need to worry? What should I do? I have a group of very special friends I hang out with every couple of weeks in Sheffield. We've been together a long time. There's a big do coming up in January and I'm afraid some of my friends are going to be invited to parties in London or Manchester or even Leicester. If they go I might not see them again. Should I discourage them for my own self interest? Do you think I could or should contemplate preventative violence?

Barry wet knickers. X

 

[Blade56]

It's important to realise that making noises come out of your gob hole has no bearing whatsoever on the results of a football match.

Most of the noises are in my grunndies (lucky pants) dare a wash them or should I continue confounding my match mates as to the source of the smell?

PS Snowman needs some serious advice

 

[GreasyChipBeattie]

Ah yes... now I see your problem.

You're one of these Blades who think if you say something it will backfire on you and be like a curse on the team. It's important to realise that making noises come out of your gob hole has no bearing whatsoever on the results of a football match. You can say whatever you like. You can even sing it if you want. You can hum it, yodel it, scream it out loud, whisper it softly. You can say it in English, you can say it Serbo-Croat or Bulgarian. It makes no difference to the result of a football match.

What you did wrong there was down to mathematical incompetence and a failure to recognise that the results of football games are purely down to the timing of fat ladies singing.

View attachment 66601

That made me smile CB.
I did actually recognise myself in that!
I have a couple of stock phrases I trot out in the hope they'll 'do the business' (one from my dad, bless his soul) "Keep 'em there son" when an oppo player hits a wayward shot.
This particular one obviously curses his chances of getting one on target for the rest of the game. (You can all thank me later)
Realistically though, I should do my poor ticker a favour and try not to take full responsibility for our performances and results on the pitch.
Oh yeah, and as for the chlorine-infested acorn bit
In my defence, Glossop Road baths was always a couple of degrees lower than it should have been imo!!

 

[corner_flag]

Dear Aunt Agony,

Do I need to worry? What should I do? I have a group of very special friends I hang out with every couple of weeks in Sheffield. We've been together a long time. There's a big do coming up in January and I'm afraid some of my friends are going to be invited to parties in London or Manchester or even Leicester

Barry wet knickers. X

Don't worry - all your 'friends' are bang average at best apparently

 

[Numpty's Dusty Ruts.]

Ah yes... now I see your problem.

You're one of these Blades who think if you say something it will backfire on you and be like a curse on the team. It's important to realise that making noises come out of your gob hole has no bearing whatsoever on the results of a football match. You can say whatever you like. You can even sing it if you want. You can hum it, yodel it, scream it out loud, whisper it softly. You can say it in English, you can say it Serbo-Croat or Bulgarian. It makes no difference to the result of a football match.

What you did wrong there was down to mathematical incompetence and a failure to recognise that the results of football games are purely down to the timing of fat ladies singing.

View attachment 66601

By 'eck, that picture takes me back to being a little boy in the early 60's! Mrs Mills was always in black and white then though!

 

[Charlieblade]

Remember the game at home against the bar codes.

Then think of the games against Norrige and Villa. Cause for new optimism I think you'll find.

Word of warning. It's going to be like that all season, but the ending will surely be a happy one.

 

[Blade56]

Dear AA,

We have been fortunate to meet nearly every team in the PL on off days and been advantaged by new technology.

Can we rely on this run of good fortune to continue or should i panic?

Nervous of Sheffield United

 

[Davalon]

Don't change your lucky butt plug just in case

 

[bypassblade]

Dear AA,

Last time we were 10 points clear of the relegation spots I was flippant and said to my match mates we’re safe now. We collapsed in the second half of that season and were religated.

Should I be worried?

Nervous of Sheffield United

PS I think I’ve eaten too much lasagne, should I buy a bigger freezer?

Yes we collapsed but that was 200% due to Warnock's negativity, he went out every game with the intention of not losing; CWAK are different beasts as are the players. In fact IMS it wasn't even half a season 12 or so games I thought, all we can do is keep going as we are and see where we end up end of season.

 

[ucandomagic]

Listen to the last words of Dean Smith’s press conference yesterday.

“Confidence isn’t low - we’ve lost 3 games against teams that are in the Top 10. It’s a tough league.”

That is who we are now, so just enjoy the magic, and let the magicians do the worrying.

 

[Kenilworth]

That made me smile CB.
I did actually recognise myself in that!
I have a couple of stock phrases I trot out in the hope they'll 'do the business' (one from my dad, bless his soul) "Keep 'em there son" when an oppo player hits a wayward shot.
This particular one obviously curses his chances of getting one on target for the rest of the game. (You can all thank me later)
Realistically though, I should do my poor ticker a favour and try not to take full responsibility for our performances and results on the pitch.
Oh yeah, and as for the chlorine-infested acorn bit
In my defence, Glossop Road baths was always a couple of degrees lower than it should have been imo!!

Mr Rattigan

 

[3-GBlade]

Look at the teams who are placed above us first.
It takes far less time as there are only four of them at the moment

 

[SwissBlade]

When I look at the PL table I look who’s below us and how they’ve gone on.

When should I start looking at the teams above us?

Nervous of Sheffield United

Never look down

 

[BushBlade]

Yes we collapsed but that was 200% due to Warnock's negativity, he went out every game with the intention of not losing; CWAK are different beasts as are the players. In fact IMS it wasn't even half a season 12 or so games I thought, all we can do is keep going as we are and see where we end up end of season.

We’ve got better players this time. Far better.

 

[Charlieblade]

Dear Agony
Shouldld I be hoping for a Palace draw, or a Brighton win tonight?

 

[Blade56]

Do I put rapping paper with glitter in it in the recycling or general waste bin?

I asked ChipButtyBlade but he’s busy making up rumours

 

[ChipButtyBlade]

Do I put rapping paper with glitter in it in the recycling or general waste bin?

I asked ChipButtyBlade but he’s busy making up rumours

You have paper that is good at rapping and has glitter save it,could be worth a few quid in years to come.

 

[Harrisblade]

In my defence, Glossop Road baths was always a couple of degrees lower than it should have been imo!!

Were you one of the kids that got hit on the head with that wooden pole if you started drowning without permission?
(Kenilworth's "Mr Rattigan" sounds horribly familiar )