Jon Bon
Here's Jonny!
- Banned
- #1
I was up at Shirecliffe watching the training earlier and was stood next to the players when Danny gave them a rousing speech. Can’t remember it word for word but it went something like this…
Cresswell: Where is the Gaffer?
Williamson: The Gaffer himself has gone to check the other squads on Soccer-Base.
Kozluck: Of squad players they all have nearly two score.
Morgan: There's almost three to one; besides, they are all on a decent whack.
Cresswell: Tis a fearful odds.
Kozluk: Oh that we now had here but one tenth of those men in the Championship that are out of contract today.
Wilson (entering): What's he that wishes so? My cousin Rob? No, my fair Kozzy, If we are marked to fail, we are enough to do our club loss;
and if to get promoted, the fewer men, the greater share of honour.
Kev's will! I pray thee, wish not one man more.
Rather proclaim it, Robbie, through my host,
That he which hath no stomach to this fight,
Let him depart; his holdall shall be packed
And a tidy sum for convoy placed with his agent:
We would not get injured in that man's company
That fears his fellowship to get a few knocks with us.
This season is called the Blades first season in the third tier for twenty three years.
He that plays this year and earns a new contract,
Will stand a tip-toe when the season is named,
And rouse him at the name of NPower.
He that shall play this year, and attend the end of season party,
Will yearly, on the vigil, feast his posh neighbours,
And say 'To-morrow is Saint N-Power’s'
Then will he lift his jeans and show his scars.
And say 'These wounds I had in the old third division.'
Old players forget: yet all shall be forgot,
But he'll remember with advantages
What grounds he played on that year:
Then shall our names. familiar in his mouth as household words
Danny the Gaffer, Barlow and Morgs,
Lowton and Slew , Boggy and, er..that Haitian,
Be in their flowing halves of Stella freshly remembered.
This story shall the good Blade teach his son;
And the N-Power 2011/12 season shall ne'er go by,
From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remembered;
We few, we reasonably happy few, we band of brothers;
For he this year that runs through a brick wall for me
Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so pants,
This season shall gentle his condition:
And season ticket holders in Sheffield now elapsed
Shall think themselves accursed they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That supported us in the N-Power First.
Lowton (enters, out of breath): Gaffer, Gaffer, bestow yourself with speed:
Sky Sports News is on in the clubhouse and will with all expedience start the draw for the Johnstone’s Paint Trophy.
Wilson: All things are ready, if our minds be so.
Kozluk: Perish the man whose mind is backward now!
Wilson: Thou dost not wish more help from the Championship Koz?
Kozluk: Kev’s will Gaffer, would you and I alone, without more help could piss this tin-pot league.
Wilson: You know your positions: Kev be with you all….!
Like I said, it might not be the exact words but that was the gist.
Ps: In the interests of fairness, tomorrow I will be doing a Bash Street Kids version for Flawed, Swiss and lager drinkers everywhere.
Cresswell: Where is the Gaffer?
Williamson: The Gaffer himself has gone to check the other squads on Soccer-Base.
Kozluck: Of squad players they all have nearly two score.
Morgan: There's almost three to one; besides, they are all on a decent whack.
Cresswell: Tis a fearful odds.
Kozluk: Oh that we now had here but one tenth of those men in the Championship that are out of contract today.
Wilson (entering): What's he that wishes so? My cousin Rob? No, my fair Kozzy, If we are marked to fail, we are enough to do our club loss;
and if to get promoted, the fewer men, the greater share of honour.
Kev's will! I pray thee, wish not one man more.
Rather proclaim it, Robbie, through my host,
That he which hath no stomach to this fight,
Let him depart; his holdall shall be packed
And a tidy sum for convoy placed with his agent:
We would not get injured in that man's company
That fears his fellowship to get a few knocks with us.
This season is called the Blades first season in the third tier for twenty three years.
He that plays this year and earns a new contract,
Will stand a tip-toe when the season is named,
And rouse him at the name of NPower.
He that shall play this year, and attend the end of season party,
Will yearly, on the vigil, feast his posh neighbours,
And say 'To-morrow is Saint N-Power’s'
Then will he lift his jeans and show his scars.
And say 'These wounds I had in the old third division.'
Old players forget: yet all shall be forgot,
But he'll remember with advantages
What grounds he played on that year:
Then shall our names. familiar in his mouth as household words
Danny the Gaffer, Barlow and Morgs,
Lowton and Slew , Boggy and, er..that Haitian,
Be in their flowing halves of Stella freshly remembered.
This story shall the good Blade teach his son;
And the N-Power 2011/12 season shall ne'er go by,
From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remembered;
We few, we reasonably happy few, we band of brothers;
For he this year that runs through a brick wall for me
Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so pants,
This season shall gentle his condition:
And season ticket holders in Sheffield now elapsed
Shall think themselves accursed they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That supported us in the N-Power First.
Lowton (enters, out of breath): Gaffer, Gaffer, bestow yourself with speed:
Sky Sports News is on in the clubhouse and will with all expedience start the draw for the Johnstone’s Paint Trophy.
Wilson: All things are ready, if our minds be so.
Kozluk: Perish the man whose mind is backward now!
Wilson: Thou dost not wish more help from the Championship Koz?
Kozluk: Kev’s will Gaffer, would you and I alone, without more help could piss this tin-pot league.
Wilson: You know your positions: Kev be with you all….!
Like I said, it might not be the exact words but that was the gist.
Ps: In the interests of fairness, tomorrow I will be doing a Bash Street Kids version for Flawed, Swiss and lager drinkers everywhere.
