Competition

[Sean Thornton]

After a disastrous 2024 for virtually all ITK’rs, with most relegated to the Lonely Gobshite in the Pub League before Christmas, this forum clearly needs new talent.

So, in association with Crab & Ponzi Limited, please post a very brief CV - no naming of sources obviously - making up your experience. A committee of the great and good ( raul ) will decide the winner, who will receive the following prizes.

A seasons subscription to Shoutbox+

Dinner for two with a Shoutbox member of your choice at Five Crabs burger joint

A risk assessment course from Blade56

An evening with either Peter Sutcliffe or Fallowfield

A signed copy of Keen Blade s book “an introduction to accounts”

First choice of a derogatory name for any of our January signings


The runner up will receive a two year subscription to Shoutbox+

 

[robbiez666]

Bring back Max. Our fans lover an 'old boy'.

 

[Salmon Pastures]

After a disastrous 2024 for virtually all ITK’rs, with most relegated to the Lonely Gobshite in the Pub League before Christmas, this forum clearly needs new talent.

So, in association with Crab & Ponzi Limited, please post a very brief CV - no naming of sources obviously - making up your experience. A committee of the great and good ( raul ) will decide the winner, who will receive the following prizes.

A seasons subscription to Shoutbox+

Dinner for two with a Shoutbox member of your choice at Five Crabs burger joint

A risk assessment course from Blade56

An evening with either Peter Sutcliffe or Fallowfield

A signed copy of Keen Blade s book “an introduction to accounts”

First choice of a derogatory name for any of our January signings


The runner up will receive a two year subscription to Shoutbox+

 

[raimond]

Dear Sir/Madam,

Please find brief résumé below.

Raimond

Experience- around 35 years supporting the Blades, around 40 years talking shite

I believe I meet the person spec as I know fuck all, proudly profess to know fuck all, don't know anybody at the club really or anyone who knows anybody, but am happy to make shit up if it gives us all something to live for. I'm not deluded, don't have a God complex and barely use emojis. I'm also not from Middlesbrough nor am I a disgruntled ex employee of the club or a pensioner with little grasp of accounts or reality. I feel this new angle of very honestly and transparently making shit up to give us hope serves the public interest.

 

[Sean Thornton]

Just a note, Peter Sutcliffe has asked that we make it clear that’s it’s an evening with Fallowfield OR himself and not both of them. It turns out Mr Sutcliffe draws the line at certain things.

 

[Sean Thornton]

Dear Sir/Madam,

Please find brief résumé below.

Raimond

Experience- around 35 years supporting the Blades, around 40 years talking shite

I believe I meet the person spec as I know fuck all, proudly profess to know fuck all, don't know anybody at the club really or anyone who knows anybody, but am happy to make shit up if it gives us all something to live for. I'm not deluded, don't have a God complex and barely use emojis. I'm also not from Middlesbrough nor am I a disgruntled ex employee of the club or a pensioner with little grasp of accounts or reality. I feel this new angle of very honestly and transparently making shit up to give us hope serves the public interest.

And you started really well………

 

[Pollingtonblade]

I take it Messrs Staton and Hall are not applying?

 

[Edgar Allan Poo]

To Whom It May Concern

I have more than 51 years service to the Blades and to date have never accurately predicted anything therefore I would contend that the laws of probability suggest that I will eventually get something right.

Although generally considered to be on the far right of the forum this is entirely down to an inner ear disorder which results in my naturally veering in that direction when I walk and if anyone has a problem with that then I'll send round an angry mob as soon as I have completed a full circle.

 

[Brian Deane]

After a disastrous 2024 for virtually all ITK’rs, with most relegated to the Lonely Gobshite in the Pub League before Christmas, this forum clearly needs new talent.

So, in association with Crab & Ponzi Limited, please post a very brief CV - no naming of sources obviously - making up your experience. A committee of the great and good ( raul ) will decide the winner, who will receive the following prizes.

A seasons subscription to Shoutbox+

Dinner for two with a Shoutbox member of your choice at Five Crabs burger joint

A risk assessment course from Blade56

An evening with either Peter Sutcliffe or Fallowfield

A signed copy of Keen Blade s book “an introduction to accounts”

First choice of a derogatory name for any of our January signings


The runner up will receive a two year subscription to Shoutbox+

I'm deffo out, A risk assessment from Blade56 is a step to far

 

[knowsnowt]

A dunt know nowt like.

 

[Sportbilly /Detroit Blade]

CV

Sportbilly / Detroit blade

Age - Old and crusty

Qualifications - Cycling proficiency passed, 10 metre swimming certificate, and top seller of "Buy Glyn Hodges" Grand National sweepstake tickets.

Experience - Jimmy Saville once fixed it for me to be "on the ball on the latest inside information", or at least I ended up on his balls (shrivelled up with lots of greying curly hairs if you want to know).

I'm definitely not in the know, but am a good predictor that on this forum in the next few weeks we will discuss:

Is Rhian Brewster our worst pound for pound signing ever?

Has Kieffer Moore got less movement than a statue, and

Will our new kit be produced by anybody better than Errea. To be honest that's a low bar and even Crab Kits would be better.

If I win can I request an evening with Harold Shipman, I've got a thing for glasses you see.

 

[Guesty]

Dear Sir/Madam,

Please find brief résumé below.

Raimond

Experience- around 35 years supporting the Blades, around 40 years talking shite

I believe I meet the person spec as I know fuck all, proudly profess to know fuck all, don't know anybody at the club really or anyone who knows anybody, but am happy to make shit up if it gives us all something to live for. I'm not deluded, don't have a God complex and barely use emojis. I'm also not from Middlesbrough nor am I a disgruntled ex employee of the club or a pensioner with little grasp of accounts or reality. I feel this new angle of very honestly and transparently making shit up to give us hope serves the public interest.

I'm going to steal your CV, knock off around five years and resubmit it as my own.

 

[Russ]

What is your favourite goal?

Beckham mine

From David Beckham to Josh Windass: BBC Sport looks at own-half stunners

BBC Sport looks at some iconic goals scored by players from their own half after Josh Windass' stunner for Sheffield Wednesday.

www.bbc.co.uk

 

[Tom Bott]

Brian Deane V Liverpool.