Sean the Blade
Member
I managed to get an interview with Chris Morgan during a brief interlude in his rigorous training regime. As he stepped out of the ring, removed his gloves and towelled himself down, I asked him about his childhood.
“So Chris, what are some of your earliest memories?”
“Me alarm clock gooin off at five in’t morning when I go fishin”
“No, I mean in your life”
“Oh, reyt, I know what tha means. It has ter be ‘ome, at ‘ome in a pit village called ‘oyland. I remember sittin in’t kitchen, in front er’t fire, while me mam cooked us dinner, we used ter ave ter wait fer me ded ter finish day shift before we ad us tea” Chris relaxes in his chair, and you can almost touch the memory “Me fatha used ter come home, and he’d be black bright, head ter toe, god knows why, he worked in a call centre!”
“Me mam used ter cook the best Barnsley chop tha’s ever tasted”
“So, what IS a Barnsley chop?”
“Its like a normal chop only its reyt thick and really hard. Me mam allus med sure I ate me greens, she said they’d mek me big n strong, she weren’t lyin, although she did say they’d mek me ‘andsome an all!”
“You’ve only played for two professional clubs, what has football given you?”
“Well, if owt, its broadened me ‘orizons. Wen I were growing up in Barnsley, tha thought that the world ends at Penistone Road and yer think EVERYONE ‘as got webbed feet! ‘Ow wrong can tha be? Its gid me a good life an all. Wen I were younger I used ter deliver’t Chronicle, my round were from Elsecar right up ter Market Street in ‘Oyland, that’s up a BIG hill on an old iron framed bike! Mind thi, I were 18 at the time and could’ve done it in me car!”
“So we’re into your juvenile years, what are your memories from that period?”
“Well at that time Barnsley, the area, was in decline, folk were just shocked at the loss of our industries, they were just walking round in like a trance. I was once walkin up Eldon Street, and there were this lass wi a pram, and she walked straight out in ter the street, straight in front of the Athersley bus, Jesus wept, there was coal everywhere! I’ll never forget it”
“You weren’t always destined to be a footballer were you?”
“No, wi me nifty footwork, me mam said I could’ve been a dancer! Riverdance were reyt popular at the time, and, for a bit, I fancied that”
“What put you off?”
“Well, yer can’t use yer arms can yer”
“What was it like making your debut for your home town team, Barnsley?”
“Incredible, it’s incredible fer any player ter mek his first team debut, but Barnsley is a special place. Yer just not ready fer’t noise, ten thousand pairs of web-fingered hands clapping meks a reyt racket. I remember it like it were yesterday, it were a neet match, and we ‘ad a floodlight failure, some kids ‘ad pulled the wire out of the lamp-post on Ponty Road that we used ter by-pass the meter. Fortunately, one of the stewards was an off-duty fireman, who was also a ‘trician on’t side, so he wired it back up fer us. He did a reyt good job, Yorkshire Lecky didn’t catch on fer years”
“You mentioned fishing, are you a keen angler?”
“Everybody in Barnsley goes fishing, it’s a way of life, but it is in decline, especially since the value of scrap has collapsed. Once you could get twenty quid for a dumped Metro, if you could land it, but now YOU ‘ave ter pay THEM ter tek it off yer now”
“So, what do you do in your spare time now?”
“I train reyt ‘ard, not just physical either. I remember in one of the Karate Kid films, Mr Miyagi catches flies wi some chop-sticks, so, after training, I get Jamie Ward ter run round mi house wi a kazoo and I try ter catch ‘im wi scissor kicks. Its great fun. Anyway, it’s my snap time now mate, that raw meat wayn’t eat itself tha kno’s!
“So Chris, what are some of your earliest memories?”
“Me alarm clock gooin off at five in’t morning when I go fishin”
“No, I mean in your life”
“Oh, reyt, I know what tha means. It has ter be ‘ome, at ‘ome in a pit village called ‘oyland. I remember sittin in’t kitchen, in front er’t fire, while me mam cooked us dinner, we used ter ave ter wait fer me ded ter finish day shift before we ad us tea” Chris relaxes in his chair, and you can almost touch the memory “Me fatha used ter come home, and he’d be black bright, head ter toe, god knows why, he worked in a call centre!”
“Me mam used ter cook the best Barnsley chop tha’s ever tasted”
“So, what IS a Barnsley chop?”
“Its like a normal chop only its reyt thick and really hard. Me mam allus med sure I ate me greens, she said they’d mek me big n strong, she weren’t lyin, although she did say they’d mek me ‘andsome an all!”
“You’ve only played for two professional clubs, what has football given you?”
“Well, if owt, its broadened me ‘orizons. Wen I were growing up in Barnsley, tha thought that the world ends at Penistone Road and yer think EVERYONE ‘as got webbed feet! ‘Ow wrong can tha be? Its gid me a good life an all. Wen I were younger I used ter deliver’t Chronicle, my round were from Elsecar right up ter Market Street in ‘Oyland, that’s up a BIG hill on an old iron framed bike! Mind thi, I were 18 at the time and could’ve done it in me car!”
“So we’re into your juvenile years, what are your memories from that period?”
“Well at that time Barnsley, the area, was in decline, folk were just shocked at the loss of our industries, they were just walking round in like a trance. I was once walkin up Eldon Street, and there were this lass wi a pram, and she walked straight out in ter the street, straight in front of the Athersley bus, Jesus wept, there was coal everywhere! I’ll never forget it”
“You weren’t always destined to be a footballer were you?”
“No, wi me nifty footwork, me mam said I could’ve been a dancer! Riverdance were reyt popular at the time, and, for a bit, I fancied that”
“What put you off?”
“Well, yer can’t use yer arms can yer”
“What was it like making your debut for your home town team, Barnsley?”
“Incredible, it’s incredible fer any player ter mek his first team debut, but Barnsley is a special place. Yer just not ready fer’t noise, ten thousand pairs of web-fingered hands clapping meks a reyt racket. I remember it like it were yesterday, it were a neet match, and we ‘ad a floodlight failure, some kids ‘ad pulled the wire out of the lamp-post on Ponty Road that we used ter by-pass the meter. Fortunately, one of the stewards was an off-duty fireman, who was also a ‘trician on’t side, so he wired it back up fer us. He did a reyt good job, Yorkshire Lecky didn’t catch on fer years”
“You mentioned fishing, are you a keen angler?”
“Everybody in Barnsley goes fishing, it’s a way of life, but it is in decline, especially since the value of scrap has collapsed. Once you could get twenty quid for a dumped Metro, if you could land it, but now YOU ‘ave ter pay THEM ter tek it off yer now”
“So, what do you do in your spare time now?”
“I train reyt ‘ard, not just physical either. I remember in one of the Karate Kid films, Mr Miyagi catches flies wi some chop-sticks, so, after training, I get Jamie Ward ter run round mi house wi a kazoo and I try ter catch ‘im wi scissor kicks. Its great fun. Anyway, it’s my snap time now mate, that raw meat wayn’t eat itself tha kno’s!
More of this kind of thing!
