Kenilworth
Fuck The Falccid Franchise.
I received a curious gift over Christmas. A grubby metal teapot.
I decided to clean it up a bit so got out the Duraglit and began buffing said teapot.
Imagine my surprise when the vessel began to hum and vibrate!
I thought to myself, "I never knew you needed batteries for a teapot."
Anyway I continued to rub - it seemed like a good idea at the time
Eventually a plume of blue smoke appeared from the spout and through the veil of mist I saw an apparition emerge. A bald headed chap with several tattoos of large and ugly birds and animals across his chest and arms - in the low level of light created by the foggy atmosphere I could vaguely make out some feathers and round proboscis type appendages. Oddly strange they were.
Well I had just finished my mince pie and was contemplating making another cup of tea when the geezer before me spoke. “I am the genie of the grubby little teapot and it is my duty to provide you with one wish and one wish only.”
Interesting, thought I, and I gave it some considerable consideration.
Eventually I came up with a good one, "I want to live forever," I said.
"Sorry," said the Genie, with a supercilious grin across his ugly facade "but I am not allowed to grant that type of wish."
"Fine," said I, "Then I want to die when England win the World Cup."
"You crafty bastard!" said the Genie.
I decided to clean it up a bit so got out the Duraglit and began buffing said teapot.
Imagine my surprise when the vessel began to hum and vibrate!
I thought to myself, "I never knew you needed batteries for a teapot."
Anyway I continued to rub - it seemed like a good idea at the time
Eventually a plume of blue smoke appeared from the spout and through the veil of mist I saw an apparition emerge. A bald headed chap with several tattoos of large and ugly birds and animals across his chest and arms - in the low level of light created by the foggy atmosphere I could vaguely make out some feathers and round proboscis type appendages. Oddly strange they were.
Well I had just finished my mince pie and was contemplating making another cup of tea when the geezer before me spoke. “I am the genie of the grubby little teapot and it is my duty to provide you with one wish and one wish only.”
Interesting, thought I, and I gave it some considerable consideration.
Eventually I came up with a good one, "I want to live forever," I said.
"Sorry," said the Genie, with a supercilious grin across his ugly facade "but I am not allowed to grant that type of wish."
"Fine," said I, "Then I want to die when England win the World Cup."
"You crafty bastard!" said the Genie.
