The old Blade - Pig - Egg Joke.

[jezzablade]

A pig moves to South Sheffield in a decent sized spacious house (I Know but hes won some money on the lottery). The Blade who lives next door is pissed off the pig has moved there and keep his distance.
The Pig amazaed by the size of his garden buys some chickens. One of the chickens gets into the Blades garden and lays an egg.

The Blade picks up the egg and shouts to the pig "thanks for the egg your chicken laid I'll have that later".
The Pig insensed wants the egg and shouts "its my egg it came from my chicken!". "Bollocks" retorts the Blade "it was laid in my garden!".

Then the Blade comes up with a solution "we'll settle this the Shoreham street way." "Each has a free kick at each others bollocks until one gives up and the other gets the egg". The Pig agrees and the Blade tells the Pig he has to go first as he moved in. So the Pig stands with his legs apart and the Blade takes a run up and kicks the Pig as hard as he can between his legs. The Pig is squealing (as Pigs do) on the floor in agony for around 10 minutes and when he can finally get to his feet he says to the Blade "your turn". The Blade answers.






"Ah your alright keep the egg".

 

[mattbianco1]

A Sheffield United fan was digging at the bottom of his garden, and he unearths an old green bottle. As it’s very dirty from being in the ground, and because it looks old and possibly valuable, he gets a rag and starts to rub it clean. All of a sudden, there’s a big cloud of smoke from the neck of the bottle, and out pops this great big Genie.




“Greetings!” says the Genie. ”As you have summoned me, I must grant you three wishes.”

“Great!” says the Blades fan. ”Can I make my wishes now?”

“You may,” says the Genie, “But be warned: anything you wish for, every Wednesday fan in the world will receive, but twofold. So if you wish for a million pounds, every Wednesday fan gets 2 million, if you ask for a mansion, they all get two mansions, and so on.”

“Hmmmm,” says the Blade. “Well, that’s a bit of a downer, but what the heck – I’m not petty. If I’m getting three wishes, I don’t care if they all get double.”

“Very well,” says the Genie. ”Make your first wish!”

“I wish for £10 million in my bank account.” says the Blades fan.

“Granted!!” says the Genie. “But remember, that means every Wednesday fan gets £20 million.”

“That’s OK, good luck to them,” the Blades fan smiles. ”My second wish is for a 25 bedroom mansion in 40 acres of parkland with a lake with an island in it, and all furnished with no regard for expense.”

“Your wish is granted,” says the Genie, “But remember…”

“I know, I know – all the pigs get two mansions, that’s fine!” says the Blade “Can I make my third and final wish?”

“You may,” says the Genie. ”Just remember the ‘Double’ rule.”

“I’ve remembered,” says the United fan. “For my third wish, I would like to donate a kidney.”

 

[Damski]

Best thread in months

 

[mattbianco1]

Best thread in months

Got another...

Last night whilst the missus was out I thought i would have a browse on swfc.co.uk just to see what they were on with. Just as I was on there, i heard the keys in the front door. Somehow i managed to get my trousers off and the porn on just in time to save on the embarrassment

 

[mattbianco1]

What does a Wednesdayite do after Wednesday gain promotion to the Premiership?

He turns off the Xbox and goes to bed.

 

[Trafford]

For the older generation - what's the difference between Wednesday and a polo? People like polos.....