pommpey
THE FUTURE ... AS IT USED TO BE
- Banned
- #1
Well, that was fun, wasn't it?
To be honest, the first forty minutes looked moderately promising, if we were hoping to draw or even maybe nick it with ....
No. Fuck it. Stop deluding yourself. We did okay, but there was more chance of sliding your fat one up the potato peeler of Ariane Grande than there was of us getting anything out of that game. If anything. West Ham were set up to pull us forward, like a boxer playing defensive and waiting for the small opportunity for his opponent to just drop his guard, open up a window, stick the chin out and then BANG, suddenly you're moving backwards toward the canvas. We actually (seemed) to look and kid ourselves we were going somewhere in the first forty minutes, but think about it ... what actually did we make Fabianski do apart from watch one of his defenders nod a Ner ... Nuw ... Ngggggn ... (fucking hell, help me here ... I can hardly say his name .... ) No .... r ... w-w-CUNT-oood breathes cross behind and flip a benign Osborn effort further wide. Billy was doing press ups and star jumps to keep warm while Didsy busied himself with the obstacle course every other player played him into with his 'me versus six WHU players' skit. We kept this up and because this season has so far been a cup of bubbling diahorrea, I think even me kidded by daft arsed self we might actually beat West Ham. It was like hoping that Covid 19 has been one nasty dream, that you'd wake up like Dan Ackyrod does in Trading Places in a clean, soft bed, the whole horror of being poor just last night's grim nightmare. Some players, like Osborn, Bash and Egan did put a shift in and Bogle was uncharacteristically quiet but did okay ... but Lun ... hup .... mmmmffft .'.... L - l - l-undssss ... tr ... him, yeh, him, was just fucking appallingly piss poor.
Truth is, we played 'okay' if just to delay the obvious and with Wilderball as it is, the more you pass it, the more empty chambers there are fired at in that revolver, the greater the chance that Ol ... lll ... humm breathes ... coughs ... Ollivv -FUCKER- Nwwww ... ' you know who I mean ... will make that killer pass that will kill us off. If I were Bash, at half time I'd have lapelled the fucker in the dressing room to the Geordie tune of 'How man. If yous fuckin' plaey a fuckin' hospitl baaal like that agean, man-woman-man, I'll fuckin' slice yas an' fuckn' dice yas. Yah coont. Canny?' because in honesty, it was fucking shite. It buried us, gave them the first goal and hobbled Bash with a yellow, which could have been a red. You could see it crushed any hope we had. That one pass. But it was coming.
Second half was no better, was it? One minute in and he finds a direct pass through the centre straight to a Hammers player, and he's not even under any pressure. Can people who in the past twelve months have given me neat shit for criticising this waster please step forward and explain why? Can you tell me what was so fucking mercurial about this player that Brighton and Fulham missed? Sorry 'Vicar' but, Jesus paragliding Christ. Poele on here extolled the richness of his mastery with his feet when he came. 'He'll change the game for us' they said. They were fucking right, you know. So Wilder's answer to that is to sub him off and bring McBurnie on (I'll use his real name because he get's cross with me if I say 'McPub') and goes all False Nine with him, which actually causes him never to get in the penalty area, much. Yeah, he headed it a lot (mainly to their players .... even his attempt on goal) and basically loped about looking for something to to whilst everyone bombarded him with clearances. Twenty million.
But it was obvious we'd succumb to goal two, and then the third as they simply 'took control' and managed us out of the game. If we were back in Division One and drew West Ham in the cup tonight and came away with a 0-3 defeat, I think we'd be pleased with the chaps for at least giving it a go. Yeah, we're shit, but we are Div One and they are Premier League and were bound to win. That is how it felt tonight.
Ramsdale 7.5: Not a bad game, really. Saved some decent 'saveable' efforts and only pushed one shot back out into danger. But that fucking dive for their second. Har-har-har! Brilliant.
Bogle 6.5/10: Kept deep until needed and did at least try his 'sneaks in at the back door' trick. Not bad when there's summat to get to. Pointless when everyone else is playing Wilderball.
Basham 6.5/10: usual, consistent stuff, driving on where he could but hopelessly played out for their first.
Egan 7/10: Some class interventions and interceptions. Looks like ankle ligaments, which is six weeks with a tailwind, downhill, farting, with wax on your runners. I expect him not to return this season and if anything, that plays into our hands and makes him less of a target for the transfer window.
Ampadu 6/10: Not a great game although he had his hands full covering for
Stevens 3.5/10: Looks like he is now in his testimonial year. What a massive shame. However, his limitations have always been there. I saw him two seasons ago done by a long ball vs Millwall at BDTBL much the same way Souffle did him tonight. Lucky with the VAR decision, but that is an indication as to how clumsy and industrial he has become.
Lundstram 1.1342/10: Cack. He knows he's shot his bolt now. Wilder brings Berge in, Lundstram shits his nappy and rubs it in his face and refuses to signa contract. United nosedive, any vestige of 'offers' piling in the JTW based on a very small purple patch last season never materialise. United continue to play crap so his limitations are further exposed (and fuck me, aren't there some?) and now he's playing for carrots. Tonight he was ineffective, piss poor and clueless.
NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNnnnnnnnnnnn ... sigh ... him. Please Chris. Don't pick him again. Even if you play Moore, Brewster or Jags in the centre of the three next game, we'll understand. Honest we will.
Osborn 6.5/10: Worked hard in the first half to cause them some problems. As much as it was, 'Ooh, look at the little feller! Look at him run! Isn't he cute?' then he runs into Ndlovu Avenue (remember that, everyone?) which is basically a cul de sac of opposition players. Second half was just an instrument of Wilderball. CROSSS THE FUCKING THING, EH?
McGoldrick 8/10: The only player who seems to get it. If ever he gets injured, that's it. We may as well play the fucking academy team.
Sharp 5/10: As ever, Billy gets a low mark because Billy doesn't get anything to mark him for. I'd put 'poor kid', but he's 35.
McPubbie 4/10: Yeah, I'm being a disrespectful little no mark, keyboard warrior prick, but I have no idea what the fuck instructions he had and what system he was meant to play in. Lovely-lad Chabuddy says he's not a target man. I disagree. I'll give him some credit that he got a decent head to the ball for the rare cross that found him, but the rest of the time, what the fuck is he not doing mixing it up with the centre backs in the zone, for fuck's sake? If he has to pub it up and get muscular, make their fucking lives a misery on the penalty area, not (as I once saw him) being a link man between our 18 yard D and the centre circle. When he came on I was imagining the shit formation of him out wide left like at Southampton and him trying to be creative, rather than effective. This time he's outside the penalty area trying to make some sort of difference. Get in the fucking box, eh? Obviously, the problem with that is that we have to stop cocking about in the Wilderball areas waiting for that optimised chance to get that perfect cross in, fail and pass it back across the back and down the other flank and actually find McBurnie.
Jags 6.5/10: In the short amount of time on the pitch, slow as he is, he is still a decent defender with a good situational brain. He's gonna have to be now, because we are fast running out of centrebacks.
Wilder 4/10: He's run out of time and options now. I still don't want him gone though. But he has to look critically at our shortcomings now and start the mercy killings, change the system and recharge our belief. The season is over now, no matter what we do we are down and there's nowt stopping that. It's a massive shame for him that key positions and players have failed to deliver this season and our core side still looks and plays like his Division One champions. It is why we are where we are. We simply haven't adapted and regardless of last season (which in effect was only half a season) our true status was on show tonight in full (in)effect.
I'll just get myself comfy for the usual, predictable fusillade of deniers, trolls, WUMs and people who can't debate. I can't help your disappointment. You have to deal with that yourself.
pommpey
To be honest, the first forty minutes looked moderately promising, if we were hoping to draw or even maybe nick it with ....
No. Fuck it. Stop deluding yourself. We did okay, but there was more chance of sliding your fat one up the potato peeler of Ariane Grande than there was of us getting anything out of that game. If anything. West Ham were set up to pull us forward, like a boxer playing defensive and waiting for the small opportunity for his opponent to just drop his guard, open up a window, stick the chin out and then BANG, suddenly you're moving backwards toward the canvas. We actually (seemed) to look and kid ourselves we were going somewhere in the first forty minutes, but think about it ... what actually did we make Fabianski do apart from watch one of his defenders nod a Ner ... Nuw ... Ngggggn ... (fucking hell, help me here ... I can hardly say his name .... ) No .... r ... w-w-CUNT-oood breathes cross behind and flip a benign Osborn effort further wide. Billy was doing press ups and star jumps to keep warm while Didsy busied himself with the obstacle course every other player played him into with his 'me versus six WHU players' skit. We kept this up and because this season has so far been a cup of bubbling diahorrea, I think even me kidded by daft arsed self we might actually beat West Ham. It was like hoping that Covid 19 has been one nasty dream, that you'd wake up like Dan Ackyrod does in Trading Places in a clean, soft bed, the whole horror of being poor just last night's grim nightmare. Some players, like Osborn, Bash and Egan did put a shift in and Bogle was uncharacteristically quiet but did okay ... but Lun ... hup .... mmmmffft .'.... L - l - l-undssss ... tr ... him, yeh, him, was just fucking appallingly piss poor.
Truth is, we played 'okay' if just to delay the obvious and with Wilderball as it is, the more you pass it, the more empty chambers there are fired at in that revolver, the greater the chance that Ol ... lll ... humm breathes ... coughs ... Ollivv -FUCKER- Nwwww ... ' you know who I mean ... will make that killer pass that will kill us off. If I were Bash, at half time I'd have lapelled the fucker in the dressing room to the Geordie tune of 'How man. If yous fuckin' plaey a fuckin' hospitl baaal like that agean, man-woman-man, I'll fuckin' slice yas an' fuckn' dice yas. Yah coont. Canny?' because in honesty, it was fucking shite. It buried us, gave them the first goal and hobbled Bash with a yellow, which could have been a red. You could see it crushed any hope we had. That one pass. But it was coming.
Second half was no better, was it? One minute in and he finds a direct pass through the centre straight to a Hammers player, and he's not even under any pressure. Can people who in the past twelve months have given me neat shit for criticising this waster please step forward and explain why? Can you tell me what was so fucking mercurial about this player that Brighton and Fulham missed? Sorry 'Vicar' but, Jesus paragliding Christ. Poele on here extolled the richness of his mastery with his feet when he came. 'He'll change the game for us' they said. They were fucking right, you know. So Wilder's answer to that is to sub him off and bring McBurnie on (I'll use his real name because he get's cross with me if I say 'McPub') and goes all False Nine with him, which actually causes him never to get in the penalty area, much. Yeah, he headed it a lot (mainly to their players .... even his attempt on goal) and basically loped about looking for something to to whilst everyone bombarded him with clearances. Twenty million.
But it was obvious we'd succumb to goal two, and then the third as they simply 'took control' and managed us out of the game. If we were back in Division One and drew West Ham in the cup tonight and came away with a 0-3 defeat, I think we'd be pleased with the chaps for at least giving it a go. Yeah, we're shit, but we are Div One and they are Premier League and were bound to win. That is how it felt tonight.
Ramsdale 7.5: Not a bad game, really. Saved some decent 'saveable' efforts and only pushed one shot back out into danger. But that fucking dive for their second. Har-har-har! Brilliant.
Bogle 6.5/10: Kept deep until needed and did at least try his 'sneaks in at the back door' trick. Not bad when there's summat to get to. Pointless when everyone else is playing Wilderball.
Basham 6.5/10: usual, consistent stuff, driving on where he could but hopelessly played out for their first.
Egan 7/10: Some class interventions and interceptions. Looks like ankle ligaments, which is six weeks with a tailwind, downhill, farting, with wax on your runners. I expect him not to return this season and if anything, that plays into our hands and makes him less of a target for the transfer window.
Ampadu 6/10: Not a great game although he had his hands full covering for
Stevens 3.5/10: Looks like he is now in his testimonial year. What a massive shame. However, his limitations have always been there. I saw him two seasons ago done by a long ball vs Millwall at BDTBL much the same way Souffle did him tonight. Lucky with the VAR decision, but that is an indication as to how clumsy and industrial he has become.
Lundstram 1.1342/10: Cack. He knows he's shot his bolt now. Wilder brings Berge in, Lundstram shits his nappy and rubs it in his face and refuses to signa contract. United nosedive, any vestige of 'offers' piling in the JTW based on a very small purple patch last season never materialise. United continue to play crap so his limitations are further exposed (and fuck me, aren't there some?) and now he's playing for carrots. Tonight he was ineffective, piss poor and clueless.
NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNnnnnnnnnnnn ... sigh ... him. Please Chris. Don't pick him again. Even if you play Moore, Brewster or Jags in the centre of the three next game, we'll understand. Honest we will.
Osborn 6.5/10: Worked hard in the first half to cause them some problems. As much as it was, 'Ooh, look at the little feller! Look at him run! Isn't he cute?' then he runs into Ndlovu Avenue (remember that, everyone?) which is basically a cul de sac of opposition players. Second half was just an instrument of Wilderball. CROSSS THE FUCKING THING, EH?
McGoldrick 8/10: The only player who seems to get it. If ever he gets injured, that's it. We may as well play the fucking academy team.
Sharp 5/10: As ever, Billy gets a low mark because Billy doesn't get anything to mark him for. I'd put 'poor kid', but he's 35.
McPubbie 4/10: Yeah, I'm being a disrespectful little no mark, keyboard warrior prick, but I have no idea what the fuck instructions he had and what system he was meant to play in. Lovely-lad Chabuddy says he's not a target man. I disagree. I'll give him some credit that he got a decent head to the ball for the rare cross that found him, but the rest of the time, what the fuck is he not doing mixing it up with the centre backs in the zone, for fuck's sake? If he has to pub it up and get muscular, make their fucking lives a misery on the penalty area, not (as I once saw him) being a link man between our 18 yard D and the centre circle. When he came on I was imagining the shit formation of him out wide left like at Southampton and him trying to be creative, rather than effective. This time he's outside the penalty area trying to make some sort of difference. Get in the fucking box, eh? Obviously, the problem with that is that we have to stop cocking about in the Wilderball areas waiting for that optimised chance to get that perfect cross in, fail and pass it back across the back and down the other flank and actually find McBurnie.
Jags 6.5/10: In the short amount of time on the pitch, slow as he is, he is still a decent defender with a good situational brain. He's gonna have to be now, because we are fast running out of centrebacks.
Wilder 4/10: He's run out of time and options now. I still don't want him gone though. But he has to look critically at our shortcomings now and start the mercy killings, change the system and recharge our belief. The season is over now, no matter what we do we are down and there's nowt stopping that. It's a massive shame for him that key positions and players have failed to deliver this season and our core side still looks and plays like his Division One champions. It is why we are where we are. We simply haven't adapted and regardless of last season (which in effect was only half a season) our true status was on show tonight in full (in)effect.
I'll just get myself comfy for the usual, predictable fusillade of deniers, trolls, WUMs and people who can't debate. I can't help your disappointment. You have to deal with that yourself.
pommpey
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