pommpey
THE FUTURE ... AS IT USED TO BE
- Banned
- #1
I wasn't as unimpressed as I expected to be tonight, to be honest. The lineup seemed to reflect a need to get at Burnley and in some ways we did that, but what the fucking, jazz-dancing, somersaulting, fireworks-shooting-out-of-Jesus's-arse fuck was Wilder doing later on trying to make effective changes in Fleck and Norwood? First ten we again seemed to be all over the shop and then Didsy trumped near a Burnley defender and he pulled his hamstring. Strange how sports sciences work, isn't it? But from that moment we seemed to want it and our 3-4-3 with it's augmented midfield matched theirs for once but let's not get straight-the-way-out-horizontal with the old cock department about that statement. This is Burnley ... industrial, no-frills, and pretty direct. It isn't Liverpool or Man City. But at least the four Baldock - Ampadu - Osborn - Stevens looked productive and ready to press and challenge, rather than watch the ball being passed in front of them. We had a few chances and such was our intensity (christ, I haven't used that term describing us for ages) Burnley looked like they were having fun containing us. Couple of chances and shots on goal but as the commentator reminded us on the half hour, Lys Mousset had touched the ball three times. I waited for his next touch - six minutes later - and it was shit. Brewster mixed it up as much as he could for an Under-12, and Didsy gave us that assured control and some threat. But as people have said, we huffed, and we puffed and the fucking straw house might as well have been brick. Then Ramsdale pulls of a pretty fucking fantastic save (because threepio failed to get underneath Chris Wood enough to put him off having a straight-on, powerful header on goal) and from the resulting cross ... like Southampton ... like Brighton ... our bulwark of a central three are all over the shop and Ben Mee nods it past Ramsdale who is now doing his diveathon spectacular to try to get at it.
And, d'you know. Sean Dyche then just does what Sean Dyche dos when he's one up and quietly closes the door. With teams like ours as we are playing at the moment, it works.
Second half even with Burke on and his cylinders firing we seem to own three strikers who are playing three separate games. When Wilder hooked the Protocol Droid and put R2D2 on (Fleck) and then IG88 on (you have to watch Star Wars a lot to know what the fuck I am on about, but even Norwood plays like a fucking robot) and stuck Enda back in his favourite, bestest position that he really loves (LCB) then you knew Wilder was possibly taking the piss. At that moment, I suspect Dyche knew the game was his because suddenly we stopped attacking effectively, Burnley shifted our predictable moves into the box on the wings and we failed to penetrate. When your two cracks on goal (not on target either) come from a CB and a RWB and every bit of triangles ends up in us either losing the ball or going backwards, then backwards, then Ramsdale then you know Wilder has basically reset the formation to 'Southampton'.
Tonight we started poorly, picked it up and looked like we had belief, conceded a stupidly predictable goal and then slowly sagged like a sad cake in the rain.
Ramsdale 6.5/10: A good improvement on previous games. His stop from Wood's header had me out of my seat and clapping and thinking, 'that will do his confidence loads of good'. Then the ball sails across, Mee gets his nut to it and he's flying across the goal like a fucking cat that's been hit by a truck on the Stocksbridge bypass*. Straight into the hedge.
Basham 7.5/10: Thought he had as good a game as he could. Some mercurial skills with the ball at his feet, surging runs, goes past players and good in defence. But he can't do it all.
Egan 6.5/10: Another pretty decent showing from JE, even if I think he should have had Mee for the corner and not Ampadu. Lovely ping to Baldock in the first half and some decent penetrating runs forward, although I though his brief was the 'stay at home' CB?
Robinson 3/10: Actually deserved his 3/10 tonight, rather than it be part of a weak joke about him playing like a fucking droid. Which he still does.
Baldock 7/10: You can only give Furious this mark because he does exactly the same stuff, every match. He's consistent and worthy.
Ampadu 4/10: A better showing in CM tonight but really, he's still got that look on his face which reads, 'why am I playing with these hopeless cunts? Why have Chelsea done this to me? I'm Ethan Ampadu - GET ME OUT OF HERE!' The trouble with that sentiment is that he's not really that good, even in a team full of shitboxers like we have now.
Osborn 5/10: Battled and tried but you can see his pace, positioning and ability - three things essential for success in the EPL - is way below standard. He was too many times one of those easily boxed in tonight with no options or clue of how to get out of it.
Stevens 3/10: Pretty consistent performance in LW then LCM which showed us his depressive levels of confidence and his ability to give the ball easily to the opposition with some fucking frankly shit passing, either from out wide, or from the back. And when he has the ball and he is pressed into facing our goal moving backwards, I am literally shitting mesen. What has happened to Enda Stevens?
McGoldrick 6.5/10: Some lovely control, foot-in to deflect and intercept and deftness of touch. But elsewhere, pretty ineffective
Mousset 3/10: Crap. All of you lot 'well, then we'll have Mousse back and it will be ace' idiots just look at tonight. He was everywhere and nowhere. And even when he wasn't there, he never finished ninety minutes for us. Once again. That's a lot of games for eleven million pounds, and six goals (last season)
Brewster 4/10: Poor kid.
Burke 5/10: Went at it like the crazed killer he is and ... um ... died once Wilder had cut off the attacking routes. Far better than Mousset and a few MPH quicker
Fleck 4/10: Another consistent underperformance to be honest. He got a lot of ball-time, but did fucking nothing worthy with it. A bit better than he has been but in the words of the 1988 Robbie Nevill classic MOR wankerfest classic 'C'est La Vie', "when you're down, there just one way to go". He's now as effective as a mid-term Bobby Ford now instead of a late term Michael Brown.
Norwood 2/10: So, Mr Wilder. This was your option to up the ante and get back at Burnley? Every time Norwood touched the ball it went backwards and when it didn't, he was looking at the far touchline to find Osborn. So all Lowton did was drop 2m. It's not rocket science and neither are Norwood's 'pings' any more. As soon as the joining of the nexus of mediocrity in midfield was made with Fleck and Norwood, we were complete and back to our predictable, easy-tto-deal-with selves and Burnley just eked out the rest of the game. At the end I was on my feet with my right forearm outstretched as though I was stood on the touchline screaming 'GET THE FUCKER FORWARD!' at the telly as my missus tutted from the sofa.
It's a hackneyed format now, and as boring as Pop Idol or X Factor. We turn up, and lose, usually by a single goal, and our points tally remains dismally low. Next week, rinse and repeat. Same tactics, same counter tactics and same outcome. Lot of people paraphrasing Einstein and insanity expecting difference if you do things the same and yeah, it resonates. It aint changing unless he stops the habits he has now which involves killing our midfield and any capability to be creative, control the game and fucking win, for once.
I expect Saha and Benteke to destroy us next game.
pommpey
And, d'you know. Sean Dyche then just does what Sean Dyche dos when he's one up and quietly closes the door. With teams like ours as we are playing at the moment, it works.
Second half even with Burke on and his cylinders firing we seem to own three strikers who are playing three separate games. When Wilder hooked the Protocol Droid and put R2D2 on (Fleck) and then IG88 on (you have to watch Star Wars a lot to know what the fuck I am on about, but even Norwood plays like a fucking robot) and stuck Enda back in his favourite, bestest position that he really loves (LCB) then you knew Wilder was possibly taking the piss. At that moment, I suspect Dyche knew the game was his because suddenly we stopped attacking effectively, Burnley shifted our predictable moves into the box on the wings and we failed to penetrate. When your two cracks on goal (not on target either) come from a CB and a RWB and every bit of triangles ends up in us either losing the ball or going backwards, then backwards, then Ramsdale then you know Wilder has basically reset the formation to 'Southampton'.
Tonight we started poorly, picked it up and looked like we had belief, conceded a stupidly predictable goal and then slowly sagged like a sad cake in the rain.
Ramsdale 6.5/10: A good improvement on previous games. His stop from Wood's header had me out of my seat and clapping and thinking, 'that will do his confidence loads of good'. Then the ball sails across, Mee gets his nut to it and he's flying across the goal like a fucking cat that's been hit by a truck on the Stocksbridge bypass*. Straight into the hedge.
Basham 7.5/10: Thought he had as good a game as he could. Some mercurial skills with the ball at his feet, surging runs, goes past players and good in defence. But he can't do it all.
Egan 6.5/10: Another pretty decent showing from JE, even if I think he should have had Mee for the corner and not Ampadu. Lovely ping to Baldock in the first half and some decent penetrating runs forward, although I though his brief was the 'stay at home' CB?
Robinson 3/10: Actually deserved his 3/10 tonight, rather than it be part of a weak joke about him playing like a fucking droid. Which he still does.
Baldock 7/10: You can only give Furious this mark because he does exactly the same stuff, every match. He's consistent and worthy.
Ampadu 4/10: A better showing in CM tonight but really, he's still got that look on his face which reads, 'why am I playing with these hopeless cunts? Why have Chelsea done this to me? I'm Ethan Ampadu - GET ME OUT OF HERE!' The trouble with that sentiment is that he's not really that good, even in a team full of shitboxers like we have now.
Osborn 5/10: Battled and tried but you can see his pace, positioning and ability - three things essential for success in the EPL - is way below standard. He was too many times one of those easily boxed in tonight with no options or clue of how to get out of it.
Stevens 3/10: Pretty consistent performance in LW then LCM which showed us his depressive levels of confidence and his ability to give the ball easily to the opposition with some fucking frankly shit passing, either from out wide, or from the back. And when he has the ball and he is pressed into facing our goal moving backwards, I am literally shitting mesen. What has happened to Enda Stevens?
McGoldrick 6.5/10: Some lovely control, foot-in to deflect and intercept and deftness of touch. But elsewhere, pretty ineffective
Mousset 3/10: Crap. All of you lot 'well, then we'll have Mousse back and it will be ace' idiots just look at tonight. He was everywhere and nowhere. And even when he wasn't there, he never finished ninety minutes for us. Once again. That's a lot of games for eleven million pounds, and six goals (last season)
Brewster 4/10: Poor kid.
Burke 5/10: Went at it like the crazed killer he is and ... um ... died once Wilder had cut off the attacking routes. Far better than Mousset and a few MPH quicker
Fleck 4/10: Another consistent underperformance to be honest. He got a lot of ball-time, but did fucking nothing worthy with it. A bit better than he has been but in the words of the 1988 Robbie Nevill classic MOR wankerfest classic 'C'est La Vie', "when you're down, there just one way to go". He's now as effective as a mid-term Bobby Ford now instead of a late term Michael Brown.
Norwood 2/10: So, Mr Wilder. This was your option to up the ante and get back at Burnley? Every time Norwood touched the ball it went backwards and when it didn't, he was looking at the far touchline to find Osborn. So all Lowton did was drop 2m. It's not rocket science and neither are Norwood's 'pings' any more. As soon as the joining of the nexus of mediocrity in midfield was made with Fleck and Norwood, we were complete and back to our predictable, easy-tto-deal-with selves and Burnley just eked out the rest of the game. At the end I was on my feet with my right forearm outstretched as though I was stood on the touchline screaming 'GET THE FUCKER FORWARD!' at the telly as my missus tutted from the sofa.
It's a hackneyed format now, and as boring as Pop Idol or X Factor. We turn up, and lose, usually by a single goal, and our points tally remains dismally low. Next week, rinse and repeat. Same tactics, same counter tactics and same outcome. Lot of people paraphrasing Einstein and insanity expecting difference if you do things the same and yeah, it resonates. It aint changing unless he stops the habits he has now which involves killing our midfield and any capability to be creative, control the game and fucking win, for once.
I expect Saha and Benteke to destroy us next game.
pommpey
