Divers and con-artists

[HodgysBrokenThumb]

One of the few disappointments of the Wilder era (as He with a capital H has indicated) is that in the Championship and PL we have come up against increasing numbers of, not to mince words, cheats. So in this winter break, I thought it might be harmless fun, instead of slagging off scapegoats in our squad, to have a go at the opponents who have really pissed us off by their antics playing against us at the Lane, and come up a team of cheats.
I will begin by nominating 5:

Goalkeeper: Angus Gunn, time-wasting for 70 minutes, collapsing in the 90th minute when no player had touched him, and after lengthy treatment, turning to the Kop and giving us a smug knowing grin. Delighted he is now only on the bench at Southampton.

Central midfield: Jack Grealish and James Maddison. They would literally cover every blade of the Desso pitch with their ability to fall over. Both great talents, but need to take a long hard look at themselves. Maddison seems to have improved at Leicester?

Full-back: Rico, Bournemouth. McBurnie looking down at him in contempt on Sunday said it all.

Winger: Wilson (H). Very impressive in his ability to lie still on the ground. Most telling moment was when he caught Henderson as they both went for the ball, with his challenge being late. Henderson got up and played on, he lay on the floor and allowed United to begin an attack.

Please add your 'favourite' players to this list.

 

[stringer]

Please add your 'favourite' players to this list.

Baldock. McGoldrick. Stevens.

 

[georgebernardshaw]

Baldock. McGoldrick. Stevens.

Try and keep to the script, for fucks sake...

 

[Gulpy]

Tom Daley, reight diver that bloke.

 

[Wardyblade]

Luka Milivojević for being a first rate twat. Constantly in the refs face trying to get our players booked. Wanker.

 

[Blademanx]

Zaha .

 

[Captain2]

Jacques Cousteau

 

[bornablade]

Phil Jones. Moussett just brushed past him. He must have gone down deliberately.

Seems to have done it a few times this season.

 

[GRUMPY BLADE]

Jacques Cousteau

He were up there with Daly.

Or down there depending where he was.

 

[Inter_blade83]

Ryan Fraser

 

[Blademan18891889]

Baldock. McGoldrick. Stevens.

Absolutely bang on mate, baldock away at west ham I think it was , jesus wept. Most footballers are cheating twats, that's how it is unfortunately.

 

[BettingBlade]

Son at Spurs.

 

[BladeInIreland]

Stephen Quinn was one of the best.

 

[ZLB]

Phil Jones. Moussett just brushed past him. He must have gone down deliberately.

Seems to have done it a few times this season.

More tea vicar?

 

[Alf Tuppers Shorts]

Francis Lee. Inventor of the dive. Fat little bastard.

 

[Ivanhoe]

Benteke looks like he's got roller skates on at times, which is a real shame as he used to be a right handful..

 

[raul]

Francis Lee. Inventor of the dive. Fat little bastard.

For battering Norman Hunter, all crimes are paid.

 

[Bladesman]

Samuel Sáiz

 

[BerksBlade]

Steven Gerrard

 

[stringer]

Absolutely bang on mate, baldock away at west ham I think it was , jesus wept. Most footballers are cheating twats, that's how it is unfortunately.

Doesn’t count the other way, apparently. Trying to remember the game Enda went down and the ref laughed at his attempt. Does make me chuckle

 

[ShockingBadBuy]

Benteke looks like he's got roller skates on at times, which is a real shame as he used to be a right handful..

“Benteke is wank. We’ve got had Chris Porter”

 

[BettingBlade]

Doesn’t count the other way, apparently. Trying to remember the game Enda went down and the ref laughed at his attempt. Does make me chuckle

There’s a different between buying a free kick and what was happening on Sunday though. Triple pikes and screaming like a girl for good measure Bournemouth were doing.

 

[BettingBlade]

“Benteke is wank. We’ve got had Chris Porter”


View attachment 71301

Scored twice tonight. Prolific as ever.

 

[Silent Blade]

Henri LaMothe

 

[Bladesman]

Ezgjan Alioski

 

[fireblade]

Deulofeu, Watford.

 

[LoughboroBlade]

Baldock. McGoldrick. Stevens.

There is a massive difference between serial offenders that get away with it, compared to one-off offenders that committed the offence laughably due to lack of practice (Basham can be added to that list).

Brooks, however, was a bordering on being a serial offender while with us. Madine too.

 

[stringer]

There’s a different between buying a free kick and what was happening on Sunday though.

Yep, some are in a SUFC shirt
Agree about the screaming and rolling about completely, by the way. It did border on farcical at times.

 

[HighfieldBlade]

Patrick Bamford.

 

[CornwallBlade]

Patrick Bamford.

He would be top of any category list of things to hate about players - twat