A call to arms: help preserve the moral reputation of our club!

[HammerInPeace]

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I'll drink to that..

 

[Rodley]

It has today come to my attention that not only do we have players getting drunk and allegedly using profane language at football matches, we also have a majority of players and club officials that are unmarried, and worse, that are soiling their sheets with premarital sex. This on the back of the Ched Evans affair which revealed - quite shockingly - that not everyone shares the same sexual proclivities.
Some new issues have also come to light: we have a player that lends money at interest. I can also exclusively reveal that majority of SUFC footballers can be described as rich by most standards, at a time of food banks, and with our lord's words about camels, needles, rich men and heaven ringing in their ears. What of their souls?.I perused my Bible and Quran, and they both strictly prohibit money lending. I hope the club never had these people sponsoring our stands again, and that the player who lent the tenner gives the ten pence profit back The guardian (all good people's modern touchstone) also tells us that lending money at interest is bad.
To the moral and religious up of the club is protected, I wish to ask all Blades fans to sign my upcoming open letter that will ensure the club only employs people that respect the moral, ethical and religious beliefs of our fanbase, and that any new or existing owners or employees fit all of these standards and sign a declaration stating the same. As Sheffield United Football Club - we must set the standards! We can't let the law set our standards.
The letter will be sent to the club Chaplain and other local faith leaders to make sure it gets the religious seal of approval, before being annually checked by Nick Clegg to ensure that the club has upheld the promises it makes.

I welcome your support and any help in drafting our plan for the moral, ethical and religious rules the fanbase should impose on the club's staff.

Thanking you in anticipation, NPFIT.

P.S.: A reminder to the "Blades For Temperance" group. We meet at the KOP bars at six for the Man City game. So far we have confiscated three pints and the dregs of a fourth, but unfortunately have persuaded no Blades to sobriety. An insult to our founding fathers - I'm sure you'll agree.

P.P.S: My open letter can be signed in Farm Road Club any match day before turnstiles open. At Betfred in town any weekday before 14:00. Or at City Sauna any time after 18:00 ( shouldn't take me or indeed them long).
Thanks again.

 

[8lade]

I’m not sure about that, I was once told that God sits on our kop roof on match days laughing at our misfortune and that our poor results were recompense for the terrible language and excessive beer drinking and all round loutish behaviour of our fans.
Think he must be on holiday at the moment though.

He over stepped the mark when he shat in that sink, the Devil had a word and he settled down.

 

[Charlieblade]

Shameless!













Great idea for a Bladesfans sitcom.

 

[Darthblade]

I'm sorry but you do realise that God is a West Ham fan, don't you?

We didn't actually ...…. but we did realise that Trevor Brooking is

UTB & FTP

 

[Sean Thornton]

I'm sorry but you do realise that God is a West Ham fan, don't you?

Saint Trevor has had a promotion!

 

[RammyBlade]

Brian Deane didn't want to play on Sundays because of his religious beliefs - I think all the players should adhere to this and insist to the Premier League that all of our matches have to be played on Saturdays at 3.00 pm due to our religious beliefs!

 

[BigBed]

I once heard a bloke swearing on the Kop.

Did he say.."Why the actual fuck do we sit in this God forsaken shit excuse of a bastard stand, and why the fuck is this twating pillar right infront of my bastard seat, so i cant see the fucking goal, and why have the cunts banded smoking, walking through the weed haze made sitting on here almost bearable, if you walked through it several times before coming to the seat, and why was Dean Hammond such a prick, and why did that nob Adkins buy the shithouse, mind you, Adkins knew fuck all about football did he, wanker!, oh nice one pal, did you bring ketchup for the pie too??" ???

Asking for a mate........

 

[SW12 to S12 to S18]

Did he say.."Why the actual fuck do we sit in this God forsaken shit excuse of a bastard stand, and why the fuck is this twating pillar right infront of my bastard seat, so i cant see the fucking goal, and why have the cunts banded smoking, walking through the weed haze made sitting on here almost bearable, if you walked through it several times before coming to the seat, and why was Dean Hammond such a prick, and why did that nob Adkins buy the shithouse, mind you, Adkins knew fuck all about football did he, wanker!, oh nice one pal, did you bring ketchup for the pie too??" ???

Asking for a mate........

No, that was a different bloke.

 

[blade too long]

there are some reprobates that condone having a good time ,,,, the absolute bastards
lets promote more glass half full measures and keep the outlook here in yorkshire bleak and austere as we like it

 

[103SecondsOfMagic]

Well that's 2 minutes of my life I won't get back

You won’t get any of your life back, that’s not how it works

 

[CarlMcBlade]

What waste of words.

 

[BigBed]

there are some reprobates that condone having a good time ,,,, the absolute bastards
lets promote more glass half full measures and keep the outlook here in yorkshire bleak and austere as we like it

Hold on a minute, there's no way I'm voting for fucking Corbin!!
Your going to get now!

 

[silver blade]

I once heard a bloke swearing on the Kop.

The bastard

 

[HighfieldBlade]

And while you're at it, stop being mean to cockneys.
It's racist.

No, it's RICE-ist.

 

[HammerInPeace]

We didn't actually ...…. but we did realise that Trevor Brooking is

UTB & FTP

We did always say that he could walk on water..

 

[BushBlade]

No, it's RICE-ist.
View attachment 68564

Sounds the same if you’re South African

 

[diode_blade]

Blades kidney punch gang now behind bars....

 

[CharlotteBlade]

I once heard a bloke swearing on the Kop.

I caught myself off guard and swore when fleck got a brace against villa.
also jeeeeeezus when didzy gets a goal the flood gates are open

 

[The Vicar]

I've never found bad morals in anyone to be particularly attractive, nor those clever idiots who make false claims about God! Who most certainly does not support W Ham!

UTB

MTLBWY

 

[GRUMPY BLADE]

Deadly serious. VAR needs to be more holistic so it takes into account the supporters. I wholly support people being declared offside by their public hair, and the long waiting times for decisions. It should, however, be used to determine if people are shouting things they shouldn't be, and to measure the effect of Chicken Balti Pies on air quality (God gave us clean air!).

Thought God gave rock and roll to us?

 

[GRUMPY BLADE]

Haha definitely a pie. A lukewarm other type of pie would probably be necrophilia

Or cream?

 

[DifferentClass]

We need to ban people farting at matches.

Deadly fucking serious.