Basham's Rant

[Red Wing Blade]

I didn't expect this to turn into an Alan Partridge fans seminar, but I'm not complaining.

Just about every line of every episode is quotable. Pure comedy gold.

My wife and I constantly quote "Monkey Tennis" when we flick through the TV guide and find either a God awful sounding programme, or nothing else on.

Our other commonly quoted one is "He thinks he's Rod Stewart!"

 

[Scooter_mcgavin]

I didn't expect this to turn into an Alan Partridge fans seminar, but I'm not complaining.

Just about every line of every episode is quotable. Pure comedy gold.

My wife and I constantly quote "Monkey Tennis" when we flick through the TV guide and find either a God awful sounding programme, or nothing else on.

Our other commonly quoted one is "He thinks he's Rod Stewart!"

One of my favourites, beside smell my cheese is....

'That was classic sex'.

 

[Scooter_mcgavin]

'Lynn, I've pierced my foot on a spiiiiiiike'

 

[Bladesman]

Basham was probably asking them what they thought about the pedestrianisation of Norwich city centre.

 

[BushBlade]

He thought he’d seen Dan.

 

[Kozzy_is_my_Dad]

He said "Cuppa beans, sausage as a spoon".

Add some grated cheese on top for that lasagne in a mug experience.

 

[Rodley]

One of the best

 

[pommpey]

One of my favourites, beside smell my cheese is....

'That was classic sex'.

'Classic intercourse' mate.

pommpey

 

[Akinbiyi]

Why is it that they put perfume in the monkey's eyes? why not just dab it on it's wrists like those posh ladies?

 

[LoughboroBlade]

Around the 80th-81st minute Basham absolutely lost it with one of our players and was yelling at him in anger. I was sat on the John Street Stand and could hear him but couldn't make out what he was yelling.

If there was anyone sat on the South Stand near to the Lane end, can you shed some light please? I'd love to know what he was yelling as he went on for a while and was red in the face with anger.

Even watching the game on a stream, there was one moment where I yelled at Kieron Freeman after he under-hit a pass to Basham that begged for a come-and-slice-through-me tackle from a Fylde player. A hospital pass, and I immediately thought it was going to result in an injury. Luckily Basham doesn’t have James Wallace esque legs of glass.

 

[Scooter_mcgavin]

I thought you were sexy. I don't now, you're a bloke!

 

[alcoblade]

He was pissed off that the kop wasn't open

There’s probably a thread on this - but now you mention it (in jest);

Prerhaps its time we opened the kop for these games. Looking at weekend attendances, it’s clear how far we’ve fallen behind the average. Why is this?

It certainly puts me off, the whole reserve feel. I went for the points yesterday, and hated it, again.

Get the kop opened. What’s to lose?

 

[Grappler]

'Lynn, I've pierced my foot on a spiiiiiiike'

".....who are Wings?........only the band The Beatles could have been...."

 

[georgebernardshaw]

There’s probably a thread on this - but now you mention it (in jest);

Prerhaps its time we opened the kop for these games. Looking at weekend attendances, it’s clear how far we’ve fallen behind the average. Why is this?

It certainly puts me off, the whole reserve feel. I went for the points yesterday, and hated it, again.

Get the kop opened. What’s to lose?

I was amazed to see that many turn up, tbh, I expected 8/9,000..

 

[Baaaaaaa Blades]

Someone tried to get him to buy a mini metro !?

"They've re-badged it you fool "!

 

[essexblade73]

Yeah! Probably the best Michael quote, other than hoikin the monkey into the sea.

Love the one when he's on about the army sargeant and the ladyboy...and he flipped her over and foo, foo...

 

[GymClassHero]

Like....a savoury 99.

With grated cheese for sprinkles

 

[GymClassHero]

Add some grated cheese on top for that lasagne in a mug experience.

Blast. Beat me to it. I doff me cap to your creativity.

 

[bromtom]

There’s probably a thread on this - but now you mention it (in jest);

Prerhaps its time we opened the kop for these games. Looking at weekend attendances, it’s clear how far we’ve fallen behind the average. Why is this?

It certainly puts me off, the whole reserve feel. I went for the points yesterday, and hated it, again.

Get the kop opened. What’s to lose?

Open the Kop and get a bigger ticket caravan, sort it aaaaaat Prince Abdullah.

 

[GymClassHero]

There’s probably a thread on this - but now you mention it (in jest);

Prerhaps its time we opened the kop for these games. Looking at weekend attendances, it’s clear how far we’ve fallen behind the average. Why is this?

It certainly puts me off, the whole reserve feel. I went for the points yesterday, and hated it, again.

Get the kop opened. What’s to lose?

I find it embarrassing to be completely honest. I can stomach and accept the team change as the sad truth is the prem is by far the most important competition.

Tbh the FA need to take decisive action if the cup is ever to be restored to former glory. This can only be done by greatly increasing the prize fund, or making a champions league spot available to the winner. The latter will never happen though as they only want the big boys in their corrupt competition.

 

[alcoblade]

I was amazed to see that many turn up, tbh, I expected 8/9,000..

Which is less than half what other premiership teams got.

Something’s wrong.

 

[georgebernardshaw]

Which is less than half what other premiership teams got.

Something’s wrong.

Not quite right, Palace got 15,000 - against Derby and Rooney

 

[yorkshirecoast]

Which is less than half what other premiership teams got.

Something’s wrong.

We play our back up players but, unlike many other teams, most of our back up players don’t seem to give a toss that they have been given an opportunity to impress and don’t perform. This has been the case in the last few cup games which I think is a major contributor to the small crowds.

 

[S40BLADE]

What's the ploblem?

 

[RossoDeltic]

A reference to Minnie Driver's 'Danielle' further up. Partridge going mad and shouting 'Goalkeepers hands!'

 

[Hillsboro Blade]

Chinky is a people but it’s also a food like.

 

[1973Blade]

It's strange that no one else witnessed this incident apart from the OP. Maybe I'm thinking this because I watched yesterday's Dr Who, but could something so awful have happened involving Basham that the Bramall Lane authorities erased it from our collective memories, but somehow the OP has retained some memory of this event?

 

[alcoblade]

Not quite right, Palace got 15,000 - against Derby and Rooney

Fair enough, but still nearly 50% down on the nearest smallest crowd, and definitely less than half of the average (premier league club).

 

[BettingBlade]

Well i heard this....

Aye. I'd gan back to school. But first I'd take out the labs and then I'd type into the attack computer 'Mr Cragg, chemistry teacher'. Blow 'im to bits. And then I'd go looking for Tom Donaldson. I'd be hovering just down the road from his house, there. And he'd see us, but I'd duck down behind the trees, and he thinks he's safe, right? And he's just about to put the key in his front door, and I come up from behind the hedge, 'Hello, you bastard.' He panics, right? And he goes in the house, so I get the 30-millimetre canon and I take out the fish pond, coy carp in there couple of rounds each, right? And then I just tilt the helicopter over to one side and the machine-gun bullets is chewing up the drive, right? He comes out. 'Oh no! Not me Triumph Stag! I've just had it resprayed!' I cut it right in half, right? And then he goes, 'Ahhh!' He runs up on to the garage roof. I say, 'Right. This is for you, Tom.' He goes, 'No, no!' He's begging us, he's begging us man, 'No, please don't!' And then I fly off to Cornwall and I just smash in the sea in a big ball of flames

Tbf he was already angry when he realised he'd sat on his pie on the bench.

 

[BLADE OF GRASS]

Makes yeh wonder what it's all aboot.

That was just a noise