Have you ever done a shit at a football ground?

[HermitageBlade]

But I’ve never shit at our place, bogs are horrendous. If I’m on an all dayer I’ll always nip into the copthorne for one before kick off. Copthorne = best bogs within a mile of the ground

For fucks sake you’ve done it now, everyone will be in there. I’ll have to try out the bogs in that board games pub... they look clean. I’m also holding out for something in the new China town.

 

[alcoblade]

I regularly take a dump at the football. I’ll shit anywhere.

I lay about 4 cables a day, and the length of time between warning light to desperate need to drop my payload is now alarmingly low.

As such, I’ve had to embrace the pissiest of shitters, and learn to hover behind the smallest of bushes.

 

[Scarebus]

The only trouble is the bog roll, it’s like wiping your arse with the toilet roll version of tarmac.

Keep a box of triple ply Kleenex in a desk draw, and grab a few sheets before you head in. Avoid balsam as it will feel like you've wiped your arse with vaseline.

 

[More Bladier than thou]

Ive had a piss in the centre circle at 4am on the way home from republic nightclub. Cant say iam particularly proud that of that night but i did also nick Kevin Blackwells coat from the changing room and i still have it somewhere i think.

 

[Sheffsteel]

Probably but can’t remember
But I do remember having a piss on the terrace away at Millmoor, Rotherham during half time, it was the match Bob Atkins scores a last minute winner.
The reason was because the queues for the toilets were unreal and I saw loads of our fans pissing at the bottom of the terrace near the corner flag, so I joined in.

 

[alcoblade]

 

[The Crab]

No.

I don't even like to piss. I think I've done long term damage to myself.

This must mean you are literally full of shit.

A career in middle management awaits........

 

[northsomersetblade]

Yes, twice, at Plymouth and at Cardiff, both traumatic experiences. Sometimes it's got to be done though

 

[BLADES1988]

Keep a box of triple ply Kleenex in a desk draw, and grab a few sheets before you head in. Avoid balsam as it will feel like you've wiped your arse with vaseline.

Haha! I’ll get my self a box of Kleenex mansize, or even some kandoo and nice bottle of VIPoo

 

[Snowman]

this no football in midweek thing is going to get boring very quickly...

So go on. Own up.

I for one haven’t at a professional ground but have at one or two Sunday league grounds where I’ve been playing.

Why do you ask? Have you a special interest in sporting defaecation?

 

[stringjunior]

although i rarely go to toilet must be only 1 or 2 times a season

See a doctor

 

[BettingBlade]

Don’t think ever at a football ground but I did have a shit at Headingley once.

I’m not fussy really about shitting when I’m out as long as there is ample bog roll. Had a shit upstairs in Bar and Beyond last year.

 

[knowsnowt]

No. I never get caught out. I have a rigid shit routine I control with quinoa butties.

 

[Birdwell Blade]

I love shit humour. I’m like a child when it comes to the mention of shit and and farts. Love it.

 

[Brother-Leech]

I did last season at the millwall game. I had work until 2 in bakewell, drive to the match, drove to my usual parking place and ran to the match. All that running set something off and I just had to go. It wasn’t as bad as I expected EXCEPT FOR the was Wednesday graffiti all over the wall.

Interstingly it was an experience in the same toilet years ago, as a child that left me with awful stagefright so I avoid weeing at the football as a rule.

 

[Tezza1889]

Was sat here thinking what a disgusting thread (but funny) then realised I’ve done it..

If you go in the international bar you can use the executive box toilets ..

Don’t tell everybody though, dead posh in there so don’t go slumming it lads and lasses..

 

[I'll tell me dad.]

"As the transfer deadline cut off point draws nearer, time appears to be running out for them. Hang on we are going straight to Matt Murray at the City Ground where we understand there has been some movement, Matt".

 

[Beat Jedi]

Yes. It's not too bad really. Better than shitting in most of the pubs around the ground. I am in the South Stand though. Kop maybe a different story. Let me know if any further questions....

 

[Slug]

I had one at Wembley when we lost to Burnley.

 

[Yank]

I went to a college tournament last year and did one.Was quite a horrific one I must say,a couple people asked me if I was alright

 

[Ainsley Harriott]

this no football in midweek thing is going to get boring very quickly...

So go on. Own up.

I for one haven’t at a professional ground but have at one or two Sunday league grounds where I’ve been playing.

Oldham away in our 100 point season. Went to the disabled toilet for a shit before I shit myself. Missed our goal. Travelled on my own that day which was strange. No idea why I was so desparate for said shit but I don't tend to use the bum sink anywhere but my own house.

Got into an argument upon my exit with a fella in a wheelchair for taking up the disabled loo despite "clearly not being disabled."
'Sorry pal, here's me thinking not all disabilities were visible. Judgemental prick'

That told him.

 

[Ainsley Harriott]

View attachment 59779

All well and good, but until I get the nod from Mrs B in Essex, Im not interested

 

[Billyblade]

Until Sky change our kick-off times to early morning I should be safe from stadium abblutions as I'm regular as clockwork me.

You could seriously set your clock by my software downloading. Every day at 7am sharp.

Impressive eh?
No, not when you consider I don't get out of bed until 7.30

 

[Yoonited]

this no football in midweek thing is going to get boring very quickly...

So go on. Own up.

I for one haven’t at a professional ground but have at one or two Sunday league grounds where I’ve been playing.

Yes and i have also pissed on Preston's away end. I think I managed not to splash any Blades shoes

 

[Ainsley Harriott]

Yes and i have also pissed on Preston's away end. I think I managed not to splash any Blades shoes

Arsenal at home in the Premier league that time. Busting I was. 4 to a seat back of kop. Turned round and took a piss.

 

[nezimão]

i’ve completed the ‘holy trinity’ of performing a number one, two and three at bdtbl.

 

[Birdwell Blade]

I went to a college tournament last year and did one.Was quite a horrific one I must say,a couple people asked me if I was alright

 

[Canterbury Blade]

Yeah, I obliterated a stall at the Riverside, and have also indulged at the new Den, so I possibly take the crown for the furthest distance between away day poops

Sorry to be ‘my cat is blacker’, but if truth be told I’ve done, amongst others, Sunderland and Gillingham. The latter was horrific. The bog not my produce.
I also did both Swansea and Hull last year, so may be up for The Compass award of most spread out N S E W location for Blades dumps??
West Brom got a visit too. I think 530 kick offs create an issue, especially if I’ve started the day with an early full English in London (double six cafe by Euston highly recommended) and Regency Cade in Westminster is world class) overlaid with about 8 pre match pints of local firewater. Fuckin Sky affecting my life again!
Interestingly, the Spanish are very agricultural in their khazi outlook, Malaga for instance offered only metal bowls, no seat and no loo roll. They learnt their lesson though, when the match brochure wouldn’t flush.
As for Bramall Lane, I just need the family stand and Directors box to complete the set. I doubt either will happen soon...

 

[SW12 to S12 to S18]

I don't think I ever have, although there may have been a situation where I have. I did for a number two whilst in the midst of a nasty dose of gastro-enteritis a coupe of days ago on an aircraft. I'm convinced the front 10 rows got a whiff of my foul smelling brown water judging by some of the looks I got when I exited the toilet.
[/QUOTE
Is that where you got the idea of your Monica from?

 

[Nick Jansky]

View attachment 59779

That’s Alan Woodward isn’t it?