Suggest A Shit Show feat. Ex-Blades

[The Crab]

The World at Waugh - Crab Productions brings you a re-imagining of the popular series chronicling World War 2. Unfortunately, Sir Lawrence Olivier is still what actors call "resting" so I have hired Keith Waugh instead.

 

[BerksBlade]

Chicago Hope - ex Newcastle & Blades 'keeper pursues a career in the fledgling NASL

 

[Grappler]

Bash in the Attic

Feeble daytime TV fodder, as Chris Basham goes up into people's roof space to see if anyone has anything of any value to flog at auction.

 

[brownie4583]

Britton On Benefits.
Leon Britton visits various people trying to survive on benefits around the UK.
He accompanies Dean Hammond,Nigel Adkins,Dave Jones and Joey Barton to their local job centres to sign on.

 

[Grappler]

BBC1 Saturday 6pm

"Hi Jihai"

Laughs-a-plenty as the BBC revives one of it's best loved comedies. When Sun Jihai "accidentally" takes out Michael Mifsud at Bramall Lane, it seems like a good time for him to lie low, so Mr McCabe pulls some strings and gets him a job as the new assistant to cheeky holiday camp comic, Ted Bovis. It's non-stop laughter as the BBC re-hash some old scripts, and add a few jokes about miscommunication. Starring Paul Shane as "Ted Bovis", Sun Jihai as his hapless assistant, "Spike", Su Pollard as chamber maid Peggy Ollerenshaw and Nick "Monty" Montgomery, as the new camp manager, "Monty".

 

[HighfieldBlade]

Waugh of The Worlds - Ex-Blade's shot-stopper, Keith Waugh, guides us on an astronomical tour of the cosmos.
(viewers in Scotland can see Rough Guide to the Universe)



Inspired by The Crab

 

[Grappler]

Channel 5 - 9pm

"Can't Play?, We'll Take Him Away"

High Court Enforcement Officers Chris Wilder and Alan Knill are called to Bramall Lane, to repossess Dean Hammond, Conor Sammon and Martyn Woolford. Will they be able to get rid of them in time for the new season?, also starring Nick "Monty" Montgomery as trainee enforcement officer Nick "Monty" Montgomery.

 

[brownie4583]

Shallow Al.
Alan Knill dates a string of fat girls and thinks they are all really thin until Chris Wilder finally convinces him they don't all have bodies like Cheryl Cole Fernandez-Versini Tweedy but actually they all look like Susan Boyle.
A horrified Al then goes back home begging forgiveness from his wife.

 

[The Crab]

The Wilder Geese - Upon taking office on the first day of his new job, Chris Wilder inherits his predecessors flock of Geese. Starring Chris Wilder, and Nick Montgomery as "Monty" the local Butcher.

 

[The Crab]

Breakfast News - Daily news brought to you by a different player or member of staff each day, whilst eating their breakfast. Today, Alan Knill discusses the threat from North Korea whilst eating a large Bacon, Sausage & Egg sandwich. In science news, Stefan Scougall ponders as to whether a boy will ever swim faster than a Dolphin over a bowl of Sugar Puffs.

 

[shorehamview]

Sharp - a remake of Sean Bean's Napoleonic antics, starring Billy Sharp as the sweary hero, Chris Wilder as Wellington, and Jack O'Connell as the affable sidekick.

A plethora of ex-pig managers starring as Napoleon Bonaparte, the plot seeing our hero Billy Sharp telling them all to fuck off, whild the Duke of Wellington gets his troops pissed after Waterloo and nearly falls off a stagecoach roof.

 

[HighfieldBlade]

Channel 5 - 9pm

"Can't Play?, We'll Take Him Away"

High Court Enforcement Officers Chris Wilder and Alan Knill are called to Bramall Lane, to repossess Dean Hammond, Conor Sammon and Martyn Woolford. Will they be able to get rid of them in time for the new season?, also starring Nick "Monty" Montgomery as trainee enforcement officer Nick "Monty" Montgomery.

Excellent!

 

[elgoog44]

Long live this thread, its one of the best.

 

[Sean Thornton]

Tonight on the Adult Channel,


Knill by Mouth.....

 

[Sean Thornton]

Harry Potters.

Messrs Maguire and Chapman discuss their love of snooker.

 

[Pierre's PC]

Monty on the run - Nick "Monty" Montgomery produced another gem in his reenactments of classic video games in the continuation of this much loved series.

Special guest star Dean Hammond as the invisible wall that stops Monty completing his task.

 

[BushBlade]

The Full Monty. Weird art house film featuring a bloke called Grappler reading out posts he's made on the S24SU forum that mention Nick Montgomery. All of them. For three hours. Whilst an effete bloke wearing a barristers' wig sits in the corner crying.

 

[Grappler]

The Full Monty. Weird art house film featuring a bloke called Grappler reading out posts he's made on the S24SU forum that mention Nick Montgomery. All of them. For three hours. Whilst an effete bloke wearing a barristers' wig sits in the corner crying.

Played by Nick "Monty" Montgomery

 

[Alfreton14Blade]

Embarrassing Bladies

(As the C4 website says: ) "Innovative series raising health awareness and destigmatising embarrassing conditions" (!!)

Series 1, episode 1

Here we destigmatise David Unsworth's embarrassing condition - the ex-Blade who can't stop shitting...

 

[I should coco]

MasterChief

Wayne Allison combines a foodie reality show with an understanding of dyslexia.

Sadly, Nick "Monty" Montgomery was unavailable to appear, due to other filming commitments.

 

[I should coco]

Rip Off Britain

Little Leon keeps getting shafted by dodgy tradesmen.

In the first episode, 'Blackie' a cowboy-football manager persuades little Leon to leave Wales and move to BDTBL. Once there, his footballing skills are stolen and he can only watch wistfully as the ball sails over his head.

Nick "Monty" Montgomery still remains unavailable to appear, due to other filming commitments.

 

[I should coco]

Bargain Hunt

Various celebrities try to bid as little as they can, until Jonathan Hunt actually looks like a bargain.

Watch with baited breath and by episode 254 you will still be amazed to realise there is no negative number that can possibly match the programme's title.

Should a 19th series be commissioned, the producers hope to feature celeb, Nick "Monty" Montgomery, who may have finished his other filming commitments.

 

[HighfieldBlade]

Hanson's Half Hour - classic sitcom featuring the eponymous curmudgeonly character, as he comes on as a sub for the last 30 minutes.

 

[William Large]

'Ray Mchale applies for bail.'
Moustachioed 80's favourite Ray Mchale attends remand hearings for disgraced footballers Marlon King and Ashley Sestanovich and displays his mastering of the British justice system to secure bail for the lovable rogues.

 

[shorehamview]

Gone In 60 Seconds, starring Chris Wilder and a fully stocked bar.

 

[GreasyChipBeattie]

Ever wondered why Christmas cakes, Eccles cakes, and other such delights are packed with juicy dried fruits?
Find out with a fascinating look into the life of the humble dried grape in 'Curran's currants'
Also featuring a special guest appearance from Nick 'Monty' Montgomery as the happy-go-lucky trainee pastry chef, 'Monty Baker'

 

[Rodley]

Butlins

Barry shows you around his house

 

[Rodley]

Hungry like a Wilf

Wilf Rostron goes on week long fast for Lent

 

[Rodley]

Air Cadette

Documentary profiling Richard Cadette as he becomes the oldest man to ever enrol in the Air Cadets

 

[The Crab]

Psycho - Billy Whitehurst decides to open a B&B. His special offers on Bed, Breakfast and evening meal go awry when the only thing on the menu is a Knuckle Sandwich. The customer comments book isn't the only thing that gets filled in.