Dialogues with programme man

[Barney]

Of course you normally just buy one and that's it but my favourite was when after he'd been shouting "programmes 3 quid" for a good while, I jokingly asked "I'll have one, how much?" to which he muffled "twat" under his breath then carried on, and that was that.

 

[Boxer Blade]

Do youget that response often in your life Barney ;-)

 

[spongebobblade]

Legend or gobshite?!!

 

[prince albert]

Legend or gobshite?!!

calling Barney a twat makes him a legend

 

[SwissBlade]

Of course you normally just buy one and that's it but my favourite was when after he'd been shouting "programmes 3 quid" for a good while, I jokingly asked "I'll have one, how much?" to which he muffled "twat" under his breath then carried on, and that was that.

Is this where we question what you were doing at the game? Or was that last season?

 

[alcoblade]

Of course you normally just buy one and that's it but my favourite was when after he'd been shouting "programmes 3 quid" for a good while, I jokingly asked "I'll have one, how much?" to which he muffled "twat" under his breath then carried on, and that was that.

He nailed you in 6 words? It took 20 posts for most of us!

(Joking by the way, seasonal greetings and all that.... )

 

[raul]

Legend or gobshite?!!

Presty ? Well he's definitely moving in the right direction these days...

 

[JohnDenver]

Legend or gobshite?!!

Legend now obviously.

The other week there was a new programme seller directly opposite his pitch by the corner shop, and he was also giving it plenty. They were like rutting stags.

 

[Tyler Durden]

I've heard that Barney was so annoyed by the reply that he sold his programme half way through the match.

 

[JJBlade]

There was a bloke in Pond Street selling the Evening Paper who used to shout "STAAARR" "STAAARR" "STAAARR"

I gave him the money for the paper and said "TAAA"

 

[JohnDenver]

Of course you normally just buy one and that's it but my favourite was when after he'd been shouting "programmes 3 quid" for a good while, I jokingly asked "I'll have one, how much?" to which he muffled "twat" under his breath then carried on, and that was that.

Just in case you were mortally offended, it might help if I mention that when he does his rounds inside the stadium, some lads in the South Stand like to shout "over 'ere!", then duck down out of sight. I reckon he thinks a great many of us are twats.

 

[Uncle mick]

I thought that programme seller was shouting..
Father christmas.
Listen from a distance on sat

 

[DiggerBlade]

There was a bloke in Pond Street selling the Evening Paper who used to shout "STAAARR" "STAAARR" "STAAARR"

I gave him the money for the paper and said "TAAA"

I remember my ex brother in law approaching the bloke in Pond Street who was shouting STAARR while waving a folded up copy ready to give to the next punter. As he approached him he started to put his hand in his pocket as if to search for the required change. The Star bloke anticipating a sale quickly folds another Star to hand over when the in-law suddenly pulls out a snot rag and proceeds to blow his nose right in front of the STAARR bloke.

Well, we thought it was hilarious at the time anyway.

 

[Trigger Blade]

Of course you normally just buy one and that's it but my favourite was when after he'd been shouting "programmes 3 quid" for a good while, I jokingly asked "I'll have one, how much?" to which he muffled "twat" under his breath then carried on, and that was that.

This from the person who asked me recently when I started doing comedy, deary me.

The title also said dialogues and there was only one, can we expect more rib ticklers?

 

[Barney]

I've heard that Barney was so annoyed by the reply that he sold his programme half way through the match.

Likes central that TD.

 

[Barney]

This from the person who asked me recently when I started doing comedy, deary me.

The title also said dialogues and there was only one, can we expect more rib ticklers?

Yes I asked you that because what you said was genuinely funny. I wasn't taking the piss.

 

[Houston_Blade]

That bloke used to get that about 5 times a game in the South Stand, he used to respond with a deadpan "3 quid" good to see he's amended the response.

 

[Pedro Verde]

Of course you normally just buy one and that's it but my favourite was when after he'd been shouting "programmes 3 quid" for a good while, I jokingly asked "I'll have one, how much?" to which he muffled "twat" under his breath then carried on, and that was that.

Absolutely riveting

 

[Rodley]

Of course you normally just buy one and that's it but my favourite was when after he'd been shouting "programmes 3 quid" for a good while, I jokingly asked "I'll have one, how much?" to which he muffled "twat" under his breath then carried on, and that was that.

 

[Boxer Blade]

Just in case you were mortally offended, it might help if I mention that when he does his rounds inside the stadium, some lads in the South Stand like to shout "over 'ere!", then duck down out of sight. I reckon he thinks a great many of us are twats.

Sorry nothing to do with the thread but your post reminded me of going to the Heeley house after we had played football on Saturday night and the fella came in around nine selling his wares of shell fish etc, one of ours akways shouted from the back of the room "' got any crabs on yer cock" week in, week out.

 

[Bruce Wayne]

I always look to haggle with them, I once managed to get 2 for £7.

 

[HighfieldBlade]

I thought that programme seller was shouting..
Father christmas.
Listen from a distance on sat

The way it sounds to me, he seems to be doing a sideline in bras (3 quid) and prawns (3 quid).

 

[SUFC Handsworth]

I remember my ex brother in law approaching the bloke in Pond Street who was shouting STAARR while waving a folded up copy ready to give to the next punter. As he approached him he started to put his hand in his pocket as if to search for the required change. The Star bloke anticipating a sale quickly folds another Star to hand over when the in-law suddenly pulls out a snot rag and proceeds to blow his nose right in front of the STAARR bloke.

Well, we thought it was hilarious at the time anyway.

Digger if it's the same Star seller from the 80s/90s, who was the mouthy pig fan, then that story's even better

 

[DiggerBlade]

Digger if it's the same Star seller from the 80s/90s, who was the mouthy pig fan, then that story's even better

Not sure but what I remember is he always stood on Pond Street after the match's had finished and it was the 80's/90's. Looked like he wore some type of green overall's if I remember right.

 

[pommpey]

There was a bloke in Pond Street selling the Evening Paper who used to shout "STAAARR" "STAAARR" "STAAARR"

I gave him the money for the paper and said "TAAA"

Wasn't there one who used to stand in the High Street outside that fag booth? He had about six teeth and used to yell, "FFFFTAAAAH!" then chew his gums for five seconds then repeat.

There was also another one who used to say "H-GREEEN-AN-WHA-ITE" in a voice which sounded like a spring.

pommpey

 

[Bridge Blade]

We always like to think he's selling 'large toothpicks'

 

[SB_90]

I know someone near me a few years ago. Once asked him now its half time is it half price which as you imagine he was highly impressed. I still feel uncomfortable everytime he walks by