Ebanks Landell Songs.......

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The_Green_Man

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The had the misfortune of sitting near by to a group of budding songwriters at the match the other day......Thankfully after half time I managed to slip back a few rows to enjoy the match as opposed to listen to the group of prepubescent teens repeatedly fuck up the follow, follow song by including random player names....

Anyway after The EEL whacked in his first of the game, this group of lads were desperately trying to come up with new, inventive songs for our latest hero.......I'm not down with the current height of Uk Pop however some of the efforts were terrible to say the least and the only way that the said songs would be a success would be if you replace the fans on the kop with the St Winifred's School Choir.......

After EEL's second went in I sat in anticipation, waiting to hear what this inventive group had finally conjured together......But much to my erm, nah definitely not disappointment as silence was golden......But anyway they obviously hadn't managed a finished masterpiece.....

So here I am sat here with the odd night off work....laid in my crib and unable to sleep when all of a sudden this all pops back into my head and I find myself trying to do what a select group on this forum hate!!.....I am trying to achieve what they couldn't and piece together an EEL song......

My Favourite so far goes to the tune of "We Will Rock You"........"ETHAN (we will) ......EBANKS
(we will) ......LANDELL (rock you)"

Then you have such basics as the old Tom Harks / Piranhas classic..............Simply replace the "derrs" with a sort of four syllable "E-BANKS LAN-DELL!"......over and over again......

It's not hard is it and whilst these are from masterpieces....They are way more in line with the vocal ability of the average football supporter than a bit of fast paced, high pitch little mix or whatever it was :)
 



If only there were other threads about the bloke and songs.
 
We were looking for a unit who could play centre half
When we met you
Then you bagged a goal at Fleetwood and two more at the Lane
The Shoreham boys they lost their cool

Sign on the dotted line
Oh please don't change yer mind
Can't tell if you're a tank or just a fucking lorry

Eee-than Eee-banks Landell!
Eee-than Eee-banks, ohhhh!
Eee-than Eee-banks Landell!
Shoreham loves you soooo!
 
Far from my best work and could do with some tweaking. Tune of white cliffs, by Vera

EEL score again, don't know where don't know when
But we know he'll bite your legs on Saturday
 
Doo-Doo-Dooooo Ethan Ebanks Landell

To the tune of "Come on and do the conga".

Or Eeeeeeeeeef.

They're currently the two front runners, the Queen one is a bit cringe.
 
there was one going around the back of the kop Saturday that's been stuck in my head...

To the tune of Glad all over - The Dave Clark Five

We've got (clap, clap) Ebanks Landell
We've got (clap, clap) Ebanks Landell
repeat until bored

Fairly simply and catchy
 
there was one going around the back of the kop Saturday that's been stuck in my head...

To the tune of Glad all over - The Dave Clark Five

We've got (clap, clap) Ebanks Landell
We've got (clap, clap) Ebanks Landell
repeat until bored

Fairly simply and catchy
Needs a last line like 'and he's on fire' or something like that.
 
If only there were other threads about the bloke and songs.

If only S2 had some petty fool with more time than sense?....Somebody who achieves satisfaction by being an arsehole and pulling other peoples contributions to pieces?.......Some forum police wanker.......

Oh hold on.......
 
Ohhhhhh Ethan Ebanks-Landell he is a fucking tank, and when he shags your missus all you say is thanks.......and repeat

Probably not a suitable chant with the ched saga in the media
 
Ohhhhhh Ethan Ebanks-Landell he is a fucking tank, and when he shags your missus all you say is thanks.......and repeat

Probably not a suitable chant with the ched saga in the media

Heard something similar in the Family Stand...

Chris Hussey, Chris Hussey
some rudey sweary words...
Grab's em by the pussy...

very similar to Prince Charming - Adam The Ant
 



Lemme have a crack. Tune of Yellow River:

Ebanks-Landell, Ebanks-Landell
Is in my mind and in my eyes
Ebanks-Landell, Ebanks-Landell
Is in my blood, he's the Blade I love
 
We were looking for a unit who could play centre half
When we met you
Then you bagged a goal at Fleetwood and two more at the Lane
The Shoreham boys they lost their cool

Sign on the dotted line
Oh please don't change yer mind
Can't tell if you're a tank or just a fucking lorry

Eee-than Eee-banks Landell!
Eee-than Eee-banks, ohhhh!
Eee-than Eee-banks Landell!
Shoreham loves you soooo!

Deserves more praise than its received. Could easily imagine singing this at the shrews toneet.
 
We were looking for a unit who could play centre half
When we met you
Then you bagged a goal at Fleetwood and two more at the Lane
The Shoreham boys they lost their cool

Sign on the dotted line
Oh please don't change yer mind
Can't tell if you're a tank or just a fucking lorry

Eee-than Eee-banks Landell!
Eee-than Eee-banks, ohhhh!
Eee-than Eee-banks Landell!
Shoreham loves you soooo!

Far from my best work and could do with some tweaking. Tune of white cliffs, by Vera

EEL score again, don't know where don't know when
But we know he'll bite your legs on Saturday

there was one going around the back of the kop Saturday that's been stuck in my head...

To the tune of Glad all over - The Dave Clark Five

We've got (clap, clap) Ebanks Landell
We've got (clap, clap) Ebanks Landell
repeat until bored

Fairly simply and catchy

TRIPLE PISH!
 
*disclaimer, stolen from we all dream of a team of ainslie maitland-niles*

We all dream of a team of ebanks-landells,
Aaaaand number 1 is ebanks-landell etc etc
 
This preceded by

"He's got a beard on his face, he's no disgrace, kicking centre forwards all over the place...."
And the beauty of singing anything to We Will Rock You is the associated synchronised clapping. But it's probably too much for our lads to multi task. Unless it's bouncing and ripping aircon units off walls
 
there was one going around the back of the kop Saturday that's been stuck in my head...

To the tune of Glad all over - The Dave Clark Five

We've got (clap, clap) Ebanks Landell
We've got (clap, clap) Ebanks Landell
repeat until bored

Fairly simply and catchy


The additional lyrics, which I originally put up on the Sheffield United Songs Facebook Site were..

He's a big f*****g unit ! (big f*****g unit !)
He's built like a tank (built like a tank)
He'd never join Wednesday (never join Wednesday)
Cos they're f*****g w**k! (they're f*****g w**k!)

Then into the chorus...

I now stand to make at least 10p in Royalties, along with a Polish Zloty, an old Wards bottletop, and a car wash token.... :D
 



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