Hello Blades. I had an account a long time ago but changed my email and now I can’t even remember the username… I’m really an OG, basically.
As we’ve not got much to talk about I thought I’d unleash one of my favourite ever games on this forum. It’s called ‘Wilder, Wilder, or Wilder?’, and it goes like this:
If you’re the first player you choose a scenario of your liking and follow it up by then asking the other player/players 2 questions.
First, think of a scenario/event/situation. Then, ask the players whom they would rather do/go to the event with; Chris Wilder, Deontay Wilder, or Gene Wilder (alive Gene, getting on a bit but still sprightly. Pre-Alzheimers). Second, who would be wilder? (appreciate that this should be ‘wildest’, but it doesn’t run with the theme)
(If you don’t know who Gene Wilder is he was the original Willy Wonka, you divvy. Bet you’ve seen that at least once)
For example: Going to a Morrissey concert at the Keepmoat Stadium on a balmy summer evening; who would you rather go with – Wilder, Wilder, or Wilder?
Answer: As much as it’s very tempting to choose Chris in almost every instance being a blade and all, I’d certainly be interested in spending an evening with any of these men in the right circumstances. However, on this occasion I think I would have to pick Chris.
Deontay would be a nightmare. He wouldn’t have a clue who Morrissey is, not that that really matters in terms of the music. I’m not there for a singalong with any of them. But he wouldn’t really understand the dynamic of the crowd. When we’re in the action 4 or 5 rows from the front I don’t think Deontay would appreciate the sweaty, shirtless, closeted, Donny tradeys clambering to get as close to their idol as possible. He might just get annoyed. He could very possibly get aggressive in a situation where he’d be comfortably outnumbered and without the space to deliver any haymakers. Irregardless, I think he’d have a terrible time, and I’d spend the entire evening with severe anxiety levels constantly looking over at him just waiting for his face to turn sour and then some. It’s certainly not Deontay.
Gene could be a reasonable option, it’s true. It’s a well-known fact that Gene died whilst listening to a rendition of one of his favourite songs - ‘Somewhere Over the Rainbow’. I’d like to think that Gene might fancy Morrissey’s rendition of ‘Moon River’ both haunting and captivating, but upon this thought I’ll digress as to why this should not be considered a motivation to go with Gene. Firstly however, I feel like Gene would probably want to stand at the back. I personally would have no interest in standing at the front. If I were with any of the Wilder’s, I’d be up to the bar pretty frequently so that would rule that out. However if I’m there I’d probably be pretty keen to get a reasonably decent view and have a shouty chin-wag whilst rolling on to the back of my heels every now and then to stop my legs getting tired. Gene strikes me as the type of guy who’d want to remain quite low-key; in the shadows. But he’d also be paying a lot of attention to the performance. I think any time I’d try and spark up a conversation he’d divert his gaze briefly from the stage and look me in the eye whilst gently bringing his finger up to his lips before reverting to the concentrated state he’d achieved moments prior. Afterwards, I’d probably have loads of questions about his career and his life, but I think he’d want to talk about the performance. It wouldn’t be a bad night out.
And then finally, there’s Chris. I don’t suppose Chris will be much of a Morrissey fan, which I can resonate with. He’s probably aware of some of his tracks that have been covered more recently such as ‘Stop Me if You Think You’ve Heard This One Before’. I assume he’d probably lean over during that song and let me know that he’s heard that one before. We’d probably have a little laugh about that. I don’t think he’d want to get in the mixer like Deontay might, but I don’t think he’d be as captivated as Gene would. I think he’d be as happy as Larry to stand near the bar and enjoy the general atmosphere without making too much of a scene. There’s always the danger that Doncaster is a bit too close to home, so he could easily get badgered a bit – that would be a downside. But then again, he’d probably be well up for going to a few boozers afterwards. Depending on what night it is we might even go to the Dogs.
Considering this:
Who’d I rather go with? – Chris
Who’d be wilder? - Deontay
Once you’ve answered feel free to offer your own, new scenario for someone else to answer.
Here’s a few scenarios to get you started.
Dogging with your Dad in a small wood in an upper middle-class area of Essex. Late-September.
To be on your team in an entry for a doubles Trivial Pursuit tournament held at New York University (questions likely to favour the Americans).
Sat at home watching the un-cut, un-edited version of Das Boot in total silence.
As a companion to shear a whole field of sheep in a small town close to Mount Buggery, Vic (Australia)
As someone to guide you in picking a snappy rental suit for a large wedding in which you won’t be a particularly prominent guest (they won’t actually attend the wedding with you)
Let your imagination... run Wilder
