The pigeons will be next!

[jono_t2000]

First they came for Wilder.
Then they came for the stadium name.
And now... the pigeons.

Sources close to a bloke who once sat near the directors’ box claim the beloved matchday pigeons — frequent pitch invaders at Bramall Lane— are being quietly “phased out” in favour of AI robotic decoys designed to spy on fans who leave early.

One fan said, “You mark my words. If those pigeons disappear, we’ll be playing on a 5G-powered hover pitch called the COH Quantum Arena by 2027.”

When asked for comment, an actual pigeon at the scene simply pooped on a steward and flew off.

 

[Edgar Allan Poo]

Clearly a case of if you tolerate this then your pigeons will be next.

Early leavers had it coming though.

 

[Nade]

First they came for the pigeons.
And I did not speak out, because I was not a pigeon....

 

[Chimpan-A]

Will they use Microsoft CooPilot*?

 

[Loco Blade]

As per Benfica a giant American bald eagle will swoop down from its lofty perch carrying the United club pendant in its beak and pyro in each claw only to miss the ref / coin toss and fly off go rogue and inflict devastating injuries to the burger van bloke on John Street with SYP closing the ground for 10 years on safety ground !
Only at United

 

[diode_blade]

Yup they're in a right flap about it

 

[Youngand70]

Yup they're in a right flap about it

Who are, a loose well worn fanny?

 

[diode_blade]

Who are, a loose well worn fanny?

Virgin on the massive

Oh crap sorry I swore
Pls don't ban me

 

[Youngand70]

Virgin on the massive

Oh crap sorry I swore
Pls don't ban me

Stop mingeing!!!

 

[Bladesman]

I have not seen them for a while. Maybe they did get rid of them?

 

[The Hobott]

First they came for the pigeons.
And I did not speak out, because I was not a pigeon....

We are all pigeons on some level.

 

[Edgar Allan Poo]

We are all pigeons on some level.

Speak for yourself Lieutenant!

 

[Webding]

I almost believed it until the swerving of the word ‘shat’ in the last sentence. Nice try, American AI

 

[reedy63]

The Bramall Lane pigeons are getting removed so that they can create Robot Pigeons using AI tech. you can programme them to shit on away Fans in Bramall Lane Lower.
However, when we play wendy they will be out in force to make sure every wendyite get a good covering of shit.