New top class centre half willing to sign!!!!!!

[Ollessendro]

Good in the air, can kick with both feet, plays it on the deck, strong, good tackler. Why it's the Italian Yorskshire man ......

Ollessendro Del Piero

 

[Flatulent_Bob]

not with the puffy necklace he ain't.

 

[derrywan]

how does the keeper play wearing that hula hoop olly?

 

[LouTheBlade]

Olle do any of the team fancy a game at left back??? We're willing to pay a fee plus player swap to offload Andy Taylor. The lad to your left looks like he might slot in at full back. Plus he's got a medal so will have achieved more in his footballing career than many of our players.

I was going to ask if you were italian with that name?

 

[Robbie]

Why do some players have medals and not other? Ie you

 

[Flatulent_Bob]

Why do some players have medals and not other? Ie you

He just sneaked on the photo.

He's like a poor mans Karl Power.

 

[JohnDenver]

I love the Del Piero song to tune of the cancan.

Ollessendro Del Piero, Ole!
Ollessendro Del Piero, Ole!
Ollessendro Del Piero, Ollessendro Del Piero, Ollessendro Del Piero, Ole!

Marvelous.

 

[Flatulent_Bob]

I love the Del Piero song to tune of Offenbach's Gallop from Orpheus in the Underworld.

Ollessendro Del Piero, Ole!
Ollessendro Del Piero, Ole!
Ollessendro Del Piero, Ollessendro Del Piero, Ollessendro Del Piero, Ole!

Marvelous.

Edited.

I thought this place was supposed to be for the more intellectual Blades supporter?

 

[Ollessendro]

Olle do any of the team fancy a game at left back??? We're willing to pay a fee plus player swap to offload Andy Taylor. The lad to your left looks like he might slot in at full back. Plus he's got a medal so will have achieved more in his footballing career than many of our players.

I was going to ask if you were italian with that name?

Ollessendro can kick with both feet. And tbh I look like Maldini compared to Taylor!?

I've sent an e-mail to Sheffield United FAO Kevin Blackwell offering my services, but haven't heard back yet.

Why do some players have medals and not other? Ie you

ha, they are silver medals. I was so disgusted that we threw it away in the final that I ditched my medal.

 

[Robbie]

plays it on the deck,

I've sent an e-mail to Sheffield United FAO Kevin Blackwell offering my services, but haven't heard back yet.

I'd save your application till a new manager comes along.

 

[Ollessendro]

I'd save your application till a new manager comes along.

Don't worry Robbie I adapted it to Blackwell. My Cv said something along the lines of:

- Completely devoid of any footballing ability, but will try very hard
- Big, strong and ugly
- For what I lack in ability I make up in effort
- Happy to be played out of position
- Can kick the ball a long way and very high

 

[raul]

I look forward to your debut Olly. And in particular the six or seven "Goalwatch" stills I suspect you will be featuring heavily in.

 

[LouTheBlade]

Don't worry Robbie I adapted it to Blackwell. My Cv said something along the lines of:

- Completely devoid of any footballing ability, but will try very hard
- Big, strong and ugly
- For what I lack in ability I make up in effort
- Happy to be played out of position
- Can kick the ball a long way and very high

Once he realises you can play a bit Olle, you will be sat on the bench......

and then sold to Everton or Ipswich for a nominal on January 31st

 

[Ollessendro]

Once he realises you can play a bit Olle, you will be sat on the bench......

and then sold to Everton or Ipswich for a nominal on January 31st

Yep, my false promises of being able to boot the ball very, very, very far will get me signed up. Blackwell will unveil me, talk me up and then refuse to play me. Seeing that I have some ability and skill he will let me sit ion the bench. No matter what happens he'll pick the work horses in front of me.

After a significant period of time in which i've been given no opportunities what so ever, he'll sell me for less than what he bought me for (although it's not possible) but dress it up in an undsiclosed fee. Or i'll get sent out on loan. If I do get sent out on loan then no matter how well I play he'll never swallow his pride and bring me back and play me in the team!?

The only chance I have is if he decides to play me out of postion. If I'm offering myslef as a left back/centre back, then maybe he'll give me a shot of the right wing?!

 

[JohnDenver]

Edited.

I thought this place was supposed to be for the more intellectual Blades supporter?

Ooh yer big clever clogs. I was going to look it up in attempt to maintain board cred but just couldn't be fecked in the end.

So... Does it even sound like the cancan? I'm a musical retard (clinincally proven) following an incident at piano lessons when I was six...

 

[SwissBlade]

Great another premaddonna

 

[shorehamview]

I thought this place was supposed to be for the more intellectual Blades supporter?

I really hope you are kidding. We're all one lick of a window short of a padded cell here.

 

[Flatulent_Bob]

I really hope you are kidding. We're all one lick of a window short of a padded cell here.

There was a certain amount of tongue in cheek, although compared to Blades Mad it's like University Challenge in here.


Starter for 10 Bamber....

 

[Ollessendro]

With Tuesday's performance I might just be in with a shout of getting snapped up!?

Mind you, I hope KB reads my CV before he reads my letter asking for my Watford ticket money back!!!???

 

[Ollessendro]

just got a reply from KB ....... told mi to bring me boots for Sat-di!?

 

[super_pig]

>I thought this place was supposed to be for the more intellectual Blades supporter?
no just anyone with a working internet connection

 

[LouTheBlade]

>I thought this place was supposed to be for the more intellectual Blades supporter?
no just anyone with a working internet connection

Nah mate its just for miserable folk. Befitting of an SUFC forum.

 

[Ollessendro]

With the current defensive situation at BDTBL and the signing of Rob Kozluk I have decided to again send my CV to Kevin Blackwell.



Oliver Anderson
Defender (but willing to play out on the wing if necessary)

Personal statement

I'm big, fat and shit BUT I'll run around like a headless chicken all day. I'm a none crunching, talentless work horse. I have no technical ability whatsoever, but I'll put in 110% no matter what. Most importantly I can kick the ball very far and very high with BOTH feet.

Relevant experience

NAO football team (2008 - current)

General dogs body. Played up front in centra mid and central half. Generall mark their best player and kick the fuck out of him.

Liverpool University Economics team (2002-2005)

Ran around like a headless shicken week in week out. Compensated for my lack of skill by running and running. Played out wide left and right and concentrated on defensive duties of winger.
Broom Valley Horshoes (1995-2000)

Bone cruncing central defender. Won the cup, got back to back promotions from D league to B league between 97-99.

Rawmarsh St Joespephs (1989-1992)

Utility defender.

 

[Flatulent_Bob]

Would people consider Nos a quality centre half signing?

I wouldn't personally I would rather us sign Bartley but I would like to see what the perception of quality is, and what people would be satisfied with.

 

[Ollessendro]

Would people consider Nos a quality centre half signing?

Never mind Noz, what about this Ollessendro guy ...... I hear he has Italian roots (and they are good defenders .... or used to be!?)

 

[Jostein Flo]

Would people consider Nos a quality centre half signing?

I wouldn't personally I would rather us sign Bartley but I would like to see what the perception of quality is, and what people would be satisfied with.

Judging by list of defenders in the 'Current Blades Squad ' sticky in this very forum anyone who has played a central defensive role at Championship level or above is fair game as currently we have no one else.

 

[SotonBlade]

Quality at the moment seems to be defined as...whatever we can afford...which is Kozzy!! GOD HELP US!!

 

[Sensiblade]

Never mind Noz, what about this Ollessendro guy ...... I hear he has Italian roots (and they are good defenders .... or used to be!?)

Are you planning on standing in one spot on the pitch all match?
If not i'd trim your roots asap

 

[Grecian2000]

Would people consider Nos a quality centre half signing?

I wouldn't personally I would rather us sign Bartley but I would like to see what the perception of quality is, and what people would be satisfied with.

Out of the defenders we had on loan last season there is only Bartley I would entertain (and only then alongside Morgan). Seipp, Nosworthy and Kallio were not the sort of players I would want to see regularly in our defence.