A Good Yank
New Member
Well guys, I don’t know about you, but I sure enjoyed the England – USA game, I expect you guys are more than a little disappointed. That should be a good thing though, as, if you think about it, it shows the degree of expectation of both nations.
I’ve been reading some of the joks about your goal tender, and although I had to laugh at some, most were very cruel and I didn’t really understand how you could find them funny, the guy tried his best and made an error. With both of us having to play Slovenia and Algeria next I don’t see any problems getting through to the next round, the knock down stages, then it will get exciting. So I’d like to wish England the best of luck, and I’m sure you guys will reciprocate.
Speaking of goal tenders, I saw that Patrick Kenny has left football to become some sort of queen and a ranger in a park somewhere in London. Has he joined some kind of Village People tribute band? Well I’m a bit confused, because I thought saccer was quite a well paid profession, so I wouldn’t have thought being a queen and a ranger would pay the same, even if it is in London. You guys always said he wasn’t the brightest bulb in the chandalier, and I think he proved it.
I’ve been watching the news channel real careful recently. Since I last wrote you, one of your oil companies has had a real big SNAFU with an oil rig and there is the mother of all slicks heading towards our coastline. Our president really seems to have it in for BP, but, as always, rumours are spreading like wildfire, especially hereabouts. We’re not that far away from the coast, and we have a local guy, Billy-Joe, who makes his living ‘pitching’ the boats down on the river, and the rooves on folks’ houses. Our president really seems to have it in for BP, but, as always, rumours are spreading like wildfire, especially hereabouts. We’re not that far away from the coast, and we have a local guy, Billy-Joe, who makes his living ‘pitching’ the boats down on the river, and the rooves on folks’ houses. Now, as you guys know, the price of oil is high, and so the price of tar is high. One of the first symptoms of oil contamination on a beach is that tar balls wash up, so Billy-joe could have a free supply of tar for his business. Now this might sound a bit far fetched, but Billy-Joe did work with explosives in Korea, and he can hold his breath for a long time. Now I know the evidence is quite damning, but I don’t believe it, hell, eleven guys died in that explosion, and when I see pictures of all those sea creatures covered in oil, I know Billy-Joe wouldn’t do anything to hurt them. Jeez, c’mon, the guy has a dog and he don’t even kick it!
I received my Sheffield Blades merchandise that I ordered from the club’s site. I really like the shirts, I got my girlfriend, Missy-lou, one of those ‘fitted’ ladies shirts, but unfortunately the curves on the sides go the wrong way, they should go out, not in, all they do is squash her ‘womanly-ness’ from het gut to her butt, and her chest.
I love my girlfiend Missy-Lou, my nick-name for her is ‘Monet’, not because she is a French masterpiece, but because she looks good from a distance. We’ve been together now, going steady, for four years! I thought we had no secrets, but I only found out last week that she has a glass eye, it just kinda popped out in conversation!
I’m still making my travel plans, and I’ve been looking in to accomodation. As you know I’m working real hard to get the money together, so I want somewhere real nice to stay. At first I was thinking about Wentworth, because I like golf and that’s where your Foreign Secretary comes from. But, then I saw a photograph of him from an election campaign, wearing a redneck ball cap. Well I’m coming over to Sheffield, England to gat away from rednecks, so I crossed that off my list. I was reading about Sheffield, England, and I think I’ve found the right place, it sounds real swell. The local government has pumped millions of Dollars Sterling in to it, and it sounds real grandiose and lordly, it’s a place called ‘The Manor’. Can you guys let me know what it’s like, I’m picturing me walking on the manicured lawns of an ancient walled garden, breathing the fresh dewy air, spying deer and rabbits playing in the hedgerows, to the soundtrack of hunting horns and galloping hooves. Perhaps I’m being just a little too romantic.
Anyhow, I just finished a twelve hour stint flipping burgers, so I’m ready for some shut-eye. I’m gonna nip out back for a shower then cuddle up to my Missy-Lou. Thanks for all your good wishes from my last post, I know I’m not the most popular guy, but hey, we had George W as president, so we know about unpopular!
Missing you already,
Elmer
I’ve been reading some of the joks about your goal tender, and although I had to laugh at some, most were very cruel and I didn’t really understand how you could find them funny, the guy tried his best and made an error. With both of us having to play Slovenia and Algeria next I don’t see any problems getting through to the next round, the knock down stages, then it will get exciting. So I’d like to wish England the best of luck, and I’m sure you guys will reciprocate.
Speaking of goal tenders, I saw that Patrick Kenny has left football to become some sort of queen and a ranger in a park somewhere in London. Has he joined some kind of Village People tribute band? Well I’m a bit confused, because I thought saccer was quite a well paid profession, so I wouldn’t have thought being a queen and a ranger would pay the same, even if it is in London. You guys always said he wasn’t the brightest bulb in the chandalier, and I think he proved it.
I’ve been watching the news channel real careful recently. Since I last wrote you, one of your oil companies has had a real big SNAFU with an oil rig and there is the mother of all slicks heading towards our coastline. Our president really seems to have it in for BP, but, as always, rumours are spreading like wildfire, especially hereabouts. We’re not that far away from the coast, and we have a local guy, Billy-Joe, who makes his living ‘pitching’ the boats down on the river, and the rooves on folks’ houses. Our president really seems to have it in for BP, but, as always, rumours are spreading like wildfire, especially hereabouts. We’re not that far away from the coast, and we have a local guy, Billy-Joe, who makes his living ‘pitching’ the boats down on the river, and the rooves on folks’ houses. Now, as you guys know, the price of oil is high, and so the price of tar is high. One of the first symptoms of oil contamination on a beach is that tar balls wash up, so Billy-joe could have a free supply of tar for his business. Now this might sound a bit far fetched, but Billy-Joe did work with explosives in Korea, and he can hold his breath for a long time. Now I know the evidence is quite damning, but I don’t believe it, hell, eleven guys died in that explosion, and when I see pictures of all those sea creatures covered in oil, I know Billy-Joe wouldn’t do anything to hurt them. Jeez, c’mon, the guy has a dog and he don’t even kick it!
I received my Sheffield Blades merchandise that I ordered from the club’s site. I really like the shirts, I got my girlfriend, Missy-lou, one of those ‘fitted’ ladies shirts, but unfortunately the curves on the sides go the wrong way, they should go out, not in, all they do is squash her ‘womanly-ness’ from het gut to her butt, and her chest.
I love my girlfiend Missy-Lou, my nick-name for her is ‘Monet’, not because she is a French masterpiece, but because she looks good from a distance. We’ve been together now, going steady, for four years! I thought we had no secrets, but I only found out last week that she has a glass eye, it just kinda popped out in conversation!
I’m still making my travel plans, and I’ve been looking in to accomodation. As you know I’m working real hard to get the money together, so I want somewhere real nice to stay. At first I was thinking about Wentworth, because I like golf and that’s where your Foreign Secretary comes from. But, then I saw a photograph of him from an election campaign, wearing a redneck ball cap. Well I’m coming over to Sheffield, England to gat away from rednecks, so I crossed that off my list. I was reading about Sheffield, England, and I think I’ve found the right place, it sounds real swell. The local government has pumped millions of Dollars Sterling in to it, and it sounds real grandiose and lordly, it’s a place called ‘The Manor’. Can you guys let me know what it’s like, I’m picturing me walking on the manicured lawns of an ancient walled garden, breathing the fresh dewy air, spying deer and rabbits playing in the hedgerows, to the soundtrack of hunting horns and galloping hooves. Perhaps I’m being just a little too romantic.
Anyhow, I just finished a twelve hour stint flipping burgers, so I’m ready for some shut-eye. I’m gonna nip out back for a shower then cuddle up to my Missy-Lou. Thanks for all your good wishes from my last post, I know I’m not the most popular guy, but hey, we had George W as president, so we know about unpopular!
Missing you already,
Elmer
