TheFlashingBlade
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These are the Honorary Yorkshiremanships which were bestowed upon some of our favourite ‘foreigners’ in the latest issue of Dem Blades* fanzine.
However, in light of recent events (or, to be more accurate, 19 recent non-events), and in the spirit of our new Brexit arrangements, the status of all ‘foreigners’ must be reviewed.
Happily John Egan, Simon Moore and David McGoldrick have done nothing to warrant changing their Yorkie status, but sadly the same cannot be said about John Fleck, Oliver Norwood or Lys Mousset.
Flecky has seemingly been abducted by aliens, probed to within an inch of his form, and replaced by a floppelgänger. So, on the basis that it’s not actually him, his Honorary Yorkshiremanship is under review, pending an inquiry into his actual whereabouts.
Similarly, the footballer formerly known as Ollie Norwood has clearly been counterfeited by a shady Chinese syndicate specialising in shabby, poorly-made, knock-off replicas of quality Western products that fail to meet all known safety standards (in and out of possession) and have a performance spec unrecognisable from the genuine model. So again, his Honorary Yorkshiremanship is under review, pending an inquiry by Trading Standards.
Which brings us to Lys Mousset. While this season’s Flecky and Ollie are unrecognisable from last season’s Flecky and Ollie, this season’s Moose is worryingly familiar. Constantly injured, consistently inconsistent, sulkily moody, maddeningly lazy, permanently knackered, and unimpressively half-arsed for one with such an impressively large arse. So his Honorary Yorkshiremanship is under review, pending an inquiry into his fitness and attitude. And a court case for drink driving.
(* If you have enjoyed this post you might enjoy a subscription to Dem Blades, available at all good websites called demblades.co.uk)
However, in light of recent events (or, to be more accurate, 19 recent non-events), and in the spirit of our new Brexit arrangements, the status of all ‘foreigners’ must be reviewed.
Happily John Egan, Simon Moore and David McGoldrick have done nothing to warrant changing their Yorkie status, but sadly the same cannot be said about John Fleck, Oliver Norwood or Lys Mousset.
Flecky has seemingly been abducted by aliens, probed to within an inch of his form, and replaced by a floppelgänger. So, on the basis that it’s not actually him, his Honorary Yorkshiremanship is under review, pending an inquiry into his actual whereabouts.
Similarly, the footballer formerly known as Ollie Norwood has clearly been counterfeited by a shady Chinese syndicate specialising in shabby, poorly-made, knock-off replicas of quality Western products that fail to meet all known safety standards (in and out of possession) and have a performance spec unrecognisable from the genuine model. So again, his Honorary Yorkshiremanship is under review, pending an inquiry by Trading Standards.
Which brings us to Lys Mousset. While this season’s Flecky and Ollie are unrecognisable from last season’s Flecky and Ollie, this season’s Moose is worryingly familiar. Constantly injured, consistently inconsistent, sulkily moody, maddeningly lazy, permanently knackered, and unimpressively half-arsed for one with such an impressively large arse. So his Honorary Yorkshiremanship is under review, pending an inquiry into his fitness and attitude. And a court case for drink driving.
(* If you have enjoyed this post you might enjoy a subscription to Dem Blades, available at all good websites called demblades.co.uk)
