I was the best player on that bench....
In fairness, I was brought on in one game, we were one down, came on down the wing, picked the ball up on half way, passed the ball and i was on my way flying down the wing in slow motion. The ball over the top of the fullback and my less than lightening pace blowing the 40 year old chubby fullback away... I took the ball into the area, was about to drill a JCR style ball into the box (and beyond our striker) when a Centre Half came from nowhere and clattered me and knocked the ball out of play. I picked myself up, readied to take the corner and bizarrely the ref stood there pointing for a goal kick to the bemusement of the two teams. I wasn't having that. Remonstrated with the ref, i got a booking, but i wasn't done.
I called him all manner of swear words as i headed back to halfway. He pulled me back, told me to calm down and forget it. I Swore at him and walked off, the red held aloft. I was on for less than 5 minutes. Bloody red boots