shorehamview
Pink Sambuca drinking World Champion.
Is there some strange scale that you can measure your Blade-ness on?
If so, where is it, and who decided what the qualification points are? And if not, why do we argue about being "more of a fan" than others?
So here's a completely arbitrary scale.
1. Season ticket holder - 10 points per season held.
2. Number of away grounds visited to watch Blades - 2 points each.
3. Number of home cup matches seen - 1 point each.
4. Number of replica shirts bought new - 1 point per shirt, 1 extra point for name and number on the back. 5 bonus points for "4 Booker" on your shirt.
5. Number of Blades pictures on wall at home - 1 point each if framed. Not framed = 0.25 points each.
6. Number of pets named after club/players - 3 points for dog or cat. 1 point for a bird. 5 points for horse, camel or giraffe. 0 points for dolphin, flash git.
7. Number of Blades tattoos - 4 points each.
8. Number of relatives who are pigs - minus 3 points each.
9. Number of times arrested while following Blades - 1 point each.
10. Number of relationships ended because of Blades - 15 points each.
11. Number of times "PIGGY!" shouted by you out of moving car at pig fan - 1 point each.
12. Number of times "PIGGY!" shouted by you out of moving car at (ex-) pig player, especially Carlton Palmer - 2 points each.
13. Number of Blades players you have shook hands with, kissed, stalked or just met - 2 points for current player, 3 points for retired player.
14. Number of times you have kissed Dave Bassett - 1 point. Half of Sheffield claims it.
15. Number of times you have shook Derek Dooley's hand - 10 points.
16. Number of old seats from the ground you own - 4 points per seat.
17. Number of years you have been following United - 1 point per year.
18. Number of friends/relatives/partners you have dragged to the Lane for the first time - 1 point per male, 2 points per female.
19. Number of grandparents you have taken to the Lane that haven't been for ages - 6 points each. 8 if they are an OAP.
20. Number of times you've taken a camera to the ground. Phones don't count. 2 points each.
21. Number of times you have had a playground fight because of being a Blade - 3 points each. 25 points if you are a teacher and still have playground fights.
22. Number of important family functions you have missed for football - 7 points each.
23. Number of big arguments you have had with family about football - 3 points each.
24. Number of bits from the ground you own - 2 points each.
25. Number of times you've had a work related trauma because of the Blades - 1 point per colleague fallen out with, 5 points per customer. 10 points per customer you've thrown out or refused to serve.
26. Number of letters you have been sent by the club - 1 point per standard letter, 3 points per special, to you only, lucky sod, letter.
Any more you can think of to add to this list that will help us measure our Blade-ness so we can properly compare our commitment to the cause then feel free to join in.
Don't try and put something down that only you have done for ten million points either. Be realistic.
If so, where is it, and who decided what the qualification points are? And if not, why do we argue about being "more of a fan" than others?
So here's a completely arbitrary scale.
1. Season ticket holder - 10 points per season held.
2. Number of away grounds visited to watch Blades - 2 points each.
3. Number of home cup matches seen - 1 point each.
4. Number of replica shirts bought new - 1 point per shirt, 1 extra point for name and number on the back. 5 bonus points for "4 Booker" on your shirt.
5. Number of Blades pictures on wall at home - 1 point each if framed. Not framed = 0.25 points each.
6. Number of pets named after club/players - 3 points for dog or cat. 1 point for a bird. 5 points for horse, camel or giraffe. 0 points for dolphin, flash git.
7. Number of Blades tattoos - 4 points each.
8. Number of relatives who are pigs - minus 3 points each.
9. Number of times arrested while following Blades - 1 point each.
10. Number of relationships ended because of Blades - 15 points each.
11. Number of times "PIGGY!" shouted by you out of moving car at pig fan - 1 point each.
12. Number of times "PIGGY!" shouted by you out of moving car at (ex-) pig player, especially Carlton Palmer - 2 points each.
13. Number of Blades players you have shook hands with, kissed, stalked or just met - 2 points for current player, 3 points for retired player.
14. Number of times you have kissed Dave Bassett - 1 point. Half of Sheffield claims it.
15. Number of times you have shook Derek Dooley's hand - 10 points.
16. Number of old seats from the ground you own - 4 points per seat.
17. Number of years you have been following United - 1 point per year.
18. Number of friends/relatives/partners you have dragged to the Lane for the first time - 1 point per male, 2 points per female.
19. Number of grandparents you have taken to the Lane that haven't been for ages - 6 points each. 8 if they are an OAP.
20. Number of times you've taken a camera to the ground. Phones don't count. 2 points each.
21. Number of times you have had a playground fight because of being a Blade - 3 points each. 25 points if you are a teacher and still have playground fights.
22. Number of important family functions you have missed for football - 7 points each.
23. Number of big arguments you have had with family about football - 3 points each.
24. Number of bits from the ground you own - 2 points each.
25. Number of times you've had a work related trauma because of the Blades - 1 point per colleague fallen out with, 5 points per customer. 10 points per customer you've thrown out or refused to serve.
26. Number of letters you have been sent by the club - 1 point per standard letter, 3 points per special, to you only, lucky sod, letter.
Any more you can think of to add to this list that will help us measure our Blade-ness so we can properly compare our commitment to the cause then feel free to join in.
Don't try and put something down that only you have done for ten million points either. Be realistic.
