Roy's View From... Pre-Match View From Hull

[A Storm of Blades]

Guy Ritchie vibes there. Sequel to Snatch possibilities.

Do you want to be the cameraman or editor?

 

[SouthEssexBlade]

Do you want to be the cameraman or editor?

Editor: you missed a line. From the darkness of the underpass, we see a hand holding a cardboard sign, and the voice of Greenwich Blade

"feed em to the pigs Genghis"

 

[Rodley]

I’ll always remember playing against Hull and the rivalry that has span the ages, it’s a huge game for me and many others….SAID NO FUCKER EVER IN RED, WHITE & BLACK.

Had more rivalry with Burton Albion than these.

Grind em down and grind it out lads. UTB

 

[Finn Keane o' Balmaqueen]

Ta.
X

 

[Edgar Allan Poo]

I see the mayor of Grimsby and the town council are still holding their planning meetings al fresco

In the way of a desperate claim to fame can I just say that the love of my life is related to the mayor of Grimsby.

 

[Blade58]

First time I’ve read a “pre match view from” where all they’ve talked about is nicking scarves

WTF?

 

[VM198]

Sale. Various styles make an offer



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Well done SEB this'll keep 'em quiet as they pleasure themselves and each other, they may even miss the game as summot new alus consumes small minds.
I've one o' them on the left, keeps next doors dog quiet, wave it 'or t'fence and it vomits like nobodies.

 

[Le Cynique]

INT. A DIMLY LIT UNDERPASS

Close on a group of Hull City fans laughing and joking, stepping through the puddles on a cracked concrete walkway.

INT. THE SHADOWS

The merriment of the Hull fans is interrupted but the sound of heavy boots stomping from the opposite direction. They stop and look.

Missing only 2 teeth (and thus the leader)
“Ellllerrr, oo’s darn thurrr?”

Mid-shot of the underpass reveals a shadowy figure at the opposite end of underpass. He is holding something in one hand, and appears to be pushing a shopping trolley.

Missing 4 teeth
“As tha got bafe?”

Missing 6 teeth
“Am Ironman tha nose”

INT. THE OMINOUS UNDERPASS

The peak of daylight streams into the tunnel through a gaping hole in the ceiling. The sound of boots and a rattle of a shopping trolley draws ever closer. Eventually, a mountain of a man steps into the light…

genghis
Or what?!

genghis is holding a Hull Scarf and pushing a trolley from wherever-the-fuck-he-likes. He transforms into ultra-alpha as these guys look like the picture of people who don’t mind their own business (goatee, shorts with sandals and socks, still wearing baseball caps).

genghis
OR WHAT?!!

The Hull fans scream, turn and run.

THE END. FIN.

This is brilliant. My favourite part was “as tha got bafe”, closely followed by “pushing a trolley from wherever-the-fuck-he-likes”. Bravo.

 

[VM198]

Hull, rugby 13 city.
Hull's recent form looks interesting but recon Blades to cut the Tiger down.
Thank you Roy.

 

[BigBed]

Fuck me, "let's pretend we're proper and by tellin bullshit stories and talkin bollocks"
Set of scumbag doley cunts.

Hull, the only city thats famous for the road out of it.

And, relax!

Cheers Royston!!

Come on now Blades, steam roller these daft twats!

 

[Il Coltello]

Sounds like they're bringing plenty of fans then.

At least it isn't too far away so their sisters can still be impregnated before midnight.

 

[Grappler]

 

[metalblade]

Fuckin hell my eye's are still rolling after reading that.

See even the normal people of Grimsby even think the dullards of Hull are ........wankers.

The lass laid down can't be from Hull she's still got her knickers on

 

[metalblade]

Fuckin hell I do wish someone would explain to these Dullards we are not their main rivals, it is the other SUFC that dropped out of the league that are their rivals Scunthorpe United, yer need to look for yer scarves in SCUNTHORPE

 

[Danny_Blade]

Hull University ad on TV:

"People say the home is where the heart is, but we say Hull is where the heart is..."


I say no it's not, because that's absolute bollocks!

 

[Kryten]

Probably toughest away game for a while, big crowd, good atmosphere and plenty from city there. I’ve a personal vendetta against these, when I was 11 years old my dad got me the brand new city scarf, I wore it with pride got bus from Bransholme, a massive gang of Sheffield Utd fans walking past the bus stop as I got off with my mates, one grabbed my scarf from around my neck said I’ll have that and off it went into the distance. I’ve looked for him ever since and I will be doing the same again on Friday. I still remember his ugly face so I’m hoping he hasn’t changed, mind you it was 47 years ago however if he’s reading this I am still looking and eventually I will find him. Come on City.”

Early 80’s, City v Sheff U at home, walking towards Boothferry Park, from Cod, near the roundabout. We ( mate and me) saw a couple of Sheff Utd nick a scarf off a couple of young kids and slap them across the head, a few yards in front of us. We chased after them and they both ran in to a little sweetshop just past the roundabout and slammed the door shut. We managed to get the door open eventually and the sweetshop owner said they’d both jumped over the counter, ran through the back and out of the back door, leaving the City scarf on the floor. Even recently outside Bramall Lane near the away turnstiles I witnessed a bloke, must have been 40’s, offering a young City fan out, guess he was about 16 and calling him all kinds of a Hull c***t etc, I don’t wear colours, and stepped in ‘I’m from Hull, pick on me’ and this fella looked at me startled , turned, and scarped. I kid you not.”

Being pretty concerned after reading these comments I ran them by the AI to see if there was any truth to this, seems a likely story as AI says this is actual footage of them on this day looking for their scarfs, every single one of em nicked!

Look real close you can also see the sweetshop, can't beat a 10 penny mix up! Fuck Blackjacks tho!



I then asked for the likely outcome of Hulls visit, glad I'm 5,000 miles away



Long day, I make no apologies!

 

[tyke1889]

Probably toughest away game for a while, big crowd, good atmosphere and plenty from city there. I’ve a personal vendetta against these, when I was 11 years old my dad got me the brand new city scarf, I wore it with pride got bus from Bransholme, a massive gang of Sheffield Utd fans walking past the bus stop as I got off with my mates, one grabbed my scarf from around my neck said I’ll have that and off it went into the distance. I’ve looked for him ever since and I will be doing the same again on Friday. I still remember his ugly face so I’m hoping he hasn’t changed, mind you it was 47 years ago however if he’s reading this I am still looking and eventually I will find him. Come on City.”

Early 80’s, City v Sheff U at home, walking towards Boothferry Park, from Cod, near the roundabout. We ( mate and me) saw a couple of Sheff Utd nick a scarf off a couple of young kids and slap them across the head, a few yards in front of us. We chased after them and they both ran in to a little sweetshop just past the roundabout and slammed the door shut. We managed to get the door open eventually and the sweetshop owner said they’d both jumped over the counter, ran through the back and out of the back door, leaving the City scarf on the floor. Even recently outside Bramall Lane near the away turnstiles I witnessed a bloke, must have been 40’s, offering a young City fan out, guess he was about 16 and calling him all kinds of a Hull c***t etc, I don’t wear colours, and stepped in ‘I’m from Hull, pick on me’ and this fella looked at me startled , turned, and scarped. I kid you not.”

Being pretty concerned after reading these comments I ran them by the AI to see if there was any truth to this, seems a likely story as AI says this is actual footage of them on this day looking for their scarfs, every single one of em nicked!

Look real close you can also see the sweetshop, can't beat a 10 penny mix up! Fuck Blackjacks tho!

View attachment 151501

I then asked for the likely outcome of Hulls visit, glad I'm 5,000 miles away

View attachment 151500

Long day, I make no apologies!

Allus knew that Hugh Grant were a wrong un

 

[Pegster]

City of Culture

Remember how they based their bid on two slogans :- ' All Hull Aren't We ' & ' Made in Hull ' . Had the brass neck to pinch phrases associated with the 2 major cities in Yorkshire .

Why didn't they pay homage to their heritage in the fishing industry ? Maybe , ' Gutted In Hull ' would have been more appropriate .

 

[BiggerBladeThanThou]

That’s gotta be embarrassing to the decent Hull fans

The rendition of “you’ve only come to see United” will be very apt later tonight! Cup final for them it seems.

 

[BornOnShorehamStreet]

Just thinking and I remember my dad gave me a yellow and black scarf years ago (I think I’ve still got it), claiming it was an old Blades’ away SOUVENIR scarf from the 70s. I’m now thinking it might be a Hull one.

Corrected the memory lapse for you

 

[blade too long]

Tigers tigers ra ra ra, pussy cats more like

are they all porters because they can surely carry a grudge
knicking scarves was rife during the thug years, its where wheelchair rugby get the idea for tackling

 

[SwissBlade]

These clowns always make me laugh with their fake rivalry. We may have had a few dust ups in the 70’s and 80’s and nicked a few scarves, bet let’s not assume it as a rivalry

Apparently they saw us crying on Wembley way.

 

[blade too long]

Apparently they saw us crying on Wembley way.

a shrug of resignation maybe ,but crying dont think so,

 

[PokerBlade]

I still can't remember the difference between Hull and Huddersfield. They both hate us for reasons I don't know and seem utterly irrelevant.

Is this the one obsessed with the cat memes?

 

[Edgar Allan Poo]

These clowns always make me laugh with their fake rivalry. We may have had a few dust ups in the 70’s and 80’s and nicked a few scarves, bet let’s not assume it as a rivalry

Apparently they saw us crying on Wembley way.

Have a feeling they may treat us to a chorus of this tonight.

 

[Greenwich Blade]

Have a feeling they may treat us to a chorus of this tonight.

Funny how they never chant, "We saw you stand up and spontaneously applaud your team for putting up such a fight when our fifth goal went in at Wembley."

 

[Edgar Allan Poo]

Funny how they never chant, "We saw you stand up and spontaneously applaud your team for putting up such a fight when our fifth goal went in at Wembley."

It is a bit wordy to be fair.

 

[Snowflake]

In the way of a desperate claim to fame can I just say that the love of my life is related to the mayor of Grimsby.

Does your wife/partner know there is a “love of your life “?

 

[Billyblade]

 

[Plymouthblade]

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Swap ya for a Gerld ring and fer cans er kerk