Anyone Else Sat Near a Knobhead or Knobheads?

[BigBed]

Our lass is being a knobhead, she's sat in the chair, I'm sat on the sofa, so technically were not next to eachother, but at present, it's definitely close enough!

 

[HodgysBrokenThumb]

There's a fucking family stand for a fucking reason.

Went for a meal recently, and we were offered the table with the best view in the house, but asked whether we minded kids, as there were 2 families on the next table. Said we like kids, no problem. The kids (4 of them, aged between about 4 and 9), were lovely; the adults, however, were absolutely awful.

 

[Bert]

How many knobs would Bert envisage these fellows might need branding on their heads ?

In an ideal world Bert would wear the branding iron out dealing with these twats.

 

[SwissBlade]

Always nice to read these threads when I wasn't at the match as I know then particular knobhead in question couldn't possibly be me. Phew

 

[bromtom]

Pretty family friendly at the back of the South Stand, Kop end unless we're losing.

Even then, couple of fucks and twats but not that bad, amusing rather than threatening.

Amusing yesterday though, after that bottle got lobbed at the Norwich GK I heard a young lad, pre pubescent, shout "make sure you hit him next time" so the venom isn't exclusive to the adults haha

 

[1973Blade]

Always worrying, these threads. I haven't recognised myself......yet.

There's a man who sits next to me who is a bit of a know-it-all

 

[robbiez666]

There's a c16 year old who sits in front of us in the Family Stand who stands and shouts "get up you big puff" every time one of their players has the tumultery to go down.

As this 'lad' has a very orange completion, has bleached foppish hair and wears drainpipe/skinny trousers - the next home game I'm going to explain the definition of irony to him!

Report him for homophobia and get him banned.

 

[Pollingtonblade]

The wanker who sit two seats to the right of me, on the row in front on the asputh Stand.

He picks a player he doesn't think is playing well after 20 minutes and then spends the next 70 minutes lambasting him.

He doesn't like Mark Duffy

Yep and moans all match every match.

Also when the opposition score he's heard saying without fail "I knew that was going to happen"

So as well as knowing that all our players are crap he's also psychic.

 

[HodgysBrokenThumb]

Pretty family friendly at the back of the South Stand, Kop end unless we're losing.

Even then, couple of fucks and twats but not that bad, amusing rather than threatening.

Amusing yesterday though, after that bottle got lobbed at the Norwich GK I heard a young lad, pre pubescent, shout "make sure you hit him next time" so the venom isn't exclusive to the adults haha

Though presumably it is only amusing because you would expect adults to be more mature than pre-pubescent kids...

 

[robbiez666]

Funnily enough I have found the family stand to be just as bad as anywhere else whenever we go in there.

I am no prude and don't expect anyone not to swear, I know I find it almost impossible sometimes and it's only an 8 year old sitting next to me that prevents me from letting rip sometimes.

And kids hear it all the time these days out and about to varying degrees but yesterday's exponents really did push the boat out. Hearing grown men screaming 'You fucking cunt!!' 'Fuck off and die you fucking cunt!!' and such like with kids no older than 5 or 6 sat immediately in front of them was a bit much.

The only punch I've seen thrown in the stands was in the Family Enclosure. The guy was being racist and thoroughly deserved it. Everyone neglected to report the pugilist and he never made a comment again.

 

[HodgysBrokenThumb]

There's a man who sits next to me who is a bit of a know-it-all

And there's someone sits next to me who should show his ageing father more respect.

 

[ShockingBadBuy]

In an ideal world Bert would wear the branding iron out dealing with these twats.

Bert has my commiserations.

It won't ease his pain to hear that the opposite effect has been noticeable in our part of what I like to think of as, cough, South Central. During the last 3-4 years most of the real hardcore knobheads seem to have packed it in, and their seats taken by sentient and charming football people.

There's something in all that to do with the displacement of fluid mass, and actions that have equal and opposite reactions, but with knobheads. I think I will call it Bert's Law.

 

[bromtom]

I sit next to my Dad and I always watch my language for him as much as for the kids around me haha

I'm approaching 30 but I still don't go stronger than Arse in front of my Dad

 

[Cerberus Blade]

Three of the biggest dickheads in Sheffield sit three rows behind Bert in the Bramall Lane corner.

Absolutely clueless about football but it doesn't stop them giving a running commentary on how they think the players should be playing. Yesterday's favourite word was "Drive" everytime we took possesion.

It never used to be like this up in the corner, but now the boneheads have started to move in.

Price them out. It's the only way!

 

[Steve Mackan]

I sat next too near to a bloke that only had 3 phrases. "Do him," "to him" and "don't foul him." I had to move.

 

[RossoDeltic]

We are Gangway B in South Stand. Two people near us have talked nonsense for the last 6 years, no matter how good or bad the game is, we have to contend with inane comments about someone not being good, someone doing things badly. One of our recent favourites was about Clarke being rubbish prior to him scoring a goal. Yesterday's best comment was one about Brooks being rubbish and going nowhere as he produce a top bit of skill to get in the box.

 

[Hartley Hare]

I enjoyed a terrific view of the action from the BL Upper Tier.

Plenty of room from around half-way up. Throughly decent supporters all round.

Next time I will remember to take my flask as the service at half-time was so slow. Very poor indeed.

HH

 

[Cerberus Blade]

Guy near us some years ago was abusive but curbed it a bit when he realised a young family were seated next to him. He nearly called this player a "cunt", then changed it at the last moment to "pussy". My 5 year old looked at me in astonishment. He was more puzzled by this than if he'd used the 'c' word which he wouldn't have understood!

 

[SouthEssexBlade]

Twas ever thus, Bert. I used to stand on the Kop and there was a fella stood behind us at one of the barriers, whose only comment seemed to be 'bloody rubbish yoo-ni-ted' which he yelled at every opportunity. His finest rendition was as Eddie Colquhoun led the team out from the tunnel before the match had kicked off.

 

[vorpal blade]

Did anyone watch the women's Pole Vault at the World Championships in Wet Sham this summer?

Stupid twat seemed oblivious to the fact it had exactly the opposite effect.

The British golden girl was completely psyched out by her over bearing coach who thought he could detect the wind speed and direction and acted like it was important ...... sounds pretty similar.

 

[Blade58]

There must a few around where I sit

I know that cos there's a bloke in front of me that says there's a knobhead behind him

There's also a couple behind me who keep harping on about a dickhead sat somewhere in front of them

Then there's an old fella to the left of me who keeps harping on about a daft twat to the the right of him and an old bird to the right of me who keeps whispering to her hubby about a gobby bastard to the left of her.

Yep, seems like we've got a reyt c**t sat around me somewhere, but I'm fked if I can spot him

 

[sothall blade]

Three of the biggest dickheads in Sheffield sit three rows behind Bert in the Bramall Lane corner.

Absolutely clueless about football but it doesn't stop them giving a running commentary on how they think the players should be playing. Yesterday's favourite word was "Drive" everytime we took possesion.

It never used to be like this up in the corner, but now the boneheads have started to move in.

Sorry Bert, but I thought you would have realised that success breeds fuckin idiots

 

[vorpal blade]

Three of the biggest dickheads in Sheffield sit three rows behind Bert in the Bramall Lane corner.

Since when have Nick Clegg, The Head of the Planning Department and Prince Naseem been season ticket holders?

 

[Bert]

Sorry Bert, but I thought you would have realised that success breeds fuckin idiots

What we need is a good dose of relegation so that Bert can watch the match in peace.

 

[Bert]

The bloke in front of Bert is also a bit strange. Against Derby he kept behaving strangely but yesterday he never said a single word apart from when there was a lull in play and he announced to nobody in particular that "We hate Wednesday"

 

[Trigger Blade]

Twas ever thus, Bert. I used to stand on the Kop and there was a fella stood behind us at one of the barriers, whose only comment seemed to be 'bloody rubbish yoo-ni-ted' which he yelled at every opportunity.

I've never met Greenwich Blade 's Dad, but the description sounds familiar

 

[John Street West Terrace]

My son's football team played out at Chesterfield last season (under 11s at the time) and their manager was a complete and utter wanker. Acted like he'd failed in men's football and spoke to his team like shit. Nearly all their players looked downbeat and didn't seem to enjoy it despite being a decent side and winning the game.

His favourite shout was 'relax' at the top of his voice when one of their players got in a dangerous position. Stupid twat seemed oblivious to the fact it had exactly the opposite effect.

A few years ago Dav I was playing in a cup game and on next pitch to us there was a kids match probably around U12 or 13 age group . I went to take a throw in when I heard one of the parents tell his kid '' Break his leg next time ! ''
I spun around and said to the bloke '' Have you heard yourself you fkg prick telling a kid to break another ones leg ?? ''
He looked at me in shock as though I'd just bestowed some great revelation on him ... I don't know whether the penny dropped or just that he'd pipe down but it seemed to have the desired effect as I didn't hear him after that ... what a bell end !

 

[SUFC Handsworth]

Used to be on the very back row of the South Stand, bloke next to me must have been ten year younger and his dad next to him, then bloke started bringing young 'un, I don't know 6 or 7 year old, perhaps a bit older. Tell you what it's hard work trying to kerb your language, especially watching United! Could generally get through the first 60 minutes then the ref, or Monty, or the opposition would do something stupid for the umpteenth time and that would be it ... then I'd turn round and apologise for the bad language! Think the family were genuinely ok with it but I was embarrassed with me sen!

 

[John Street West Terrace]

Used to be on the very back row of the South Stand, bloke next to me must have been ten year younger and his dad next to him, then bloke started bringing young 'un, I don't know 6 or 7 year old, perhaps a bit older. Tell you what it's hard work trying to kerb your language, especially watching United! Could generally get through the first 60 minutes then the ref, or Monty, or the opposition would do something stupid for the umpteenth time and that would be it ... then I'd turn round and apologise for the bad language! Think the family were genuinely ok with it but I was embarrassed with me sen!

Had the same yesterday SUFC , of all the games !!!!

 

[Bruce Wayne]

Used to sit with about 20 next to me on the kop, now i'm on my own. Make of that what you will.