Anyone Else Sat Near a Knobhead or Knobheads?

[Bert]

Three of the biggest dickheads in Sheffield sit three rows behind Bert in the Bramall Lane corner.

Absolutely clueless about football but it doesn't stop them giving a running commentary on how they think the players should be playing. Yesterday's favourite word was "Drive" everytime we took possesion.

It never used to be like this up in the corner, but now the boneheads have started to move in.

 

[Bladepicker]

Three of the biggest dickheads in Sheffield sit three rows behind Bert in the Bramall Lane corner.

Absolutely clueless about football but it doesn't stop them giving a running commentary on how they think the players should be playing. Yesterday's favourite word was "Drive" everytime we took possesion.

It never used to be like this up in the corner, but now the boneheads have started to move in.

I thought Bert was a stalwart of gangway B on the South Stand? Surely a move to less gentrified surroundings was always going to lead Bert and The Enforcer into potentially troubled waters?

 

[Barney]

There's a bloke that sits near me who swivels around with his nose turned up and a face like a smacked arse every time a bloke behind us politely asks the team to "drive".

 

[Esablade]

Well, they're is this old geezer keeps looking at his watch(es) and referring to himself in the third person...

 

[Bert]

I thought Bert was a stalwart of gangway B on the South Stand? Surely a move to less gentrified surroundings was always going to lead Bert and The Enforcer into potentially troubled waters?

Indeed Bert was, he had a season ticket for many years on Gangway B but due to his absence from England's green and pleasant land one winter and the Ticket Office's lack of understanding he took up his tartan blanket and flask and decamped to the Bramall Lane Corner. Things went very well up there until this season when the riff-raff started to move in. The Enforcer isn't happy either with the knobheads. It's not going to end well at all unless they pipe down.

 

[GRUMPY BLADE]

Three of the biggest dickheads in Sheffield sit three rows behind Bert in the Bramall Lane corner.

Absolutely clueless about football but it doesn't stop them giving a running commentary on how they think the players should be playing. Yesterday's favourite word was "Drive" everytime we took possesion.

It never used to be like this up in the corner, but now the boneheads have started to move in.

Bloke next to me is sat next to a knobhead

 

[TomHeffernan]

Three of the biggest dickheads in Sheffield sit three rows behind Bert in the Bramall Lane corner.

Absolutely clueless about football but it doesn't stop them giving a running commentary on how they think the players should be playing. Yesterday's favourite word was "Drive" everytime we took possesion.

It never used to be like this up in the corner, but now the boneheads have started to move in.

This could be a long thread

 

[Foxy]

SHOOT!

FORRARDS!

 

[sitwell]

I've got about 26000 Sat round me

 

[Kozzy_is_my_Dad]

NAME AND SHAME THE FECKERS.

 

[Good Pinch Of Snuff]

Gerrit forard fuckin el

 

[Davalon]

Three of the biggest dickheads in Sheffield sit three rows behind Bert in the Bramall Lane corner.

Absolutely clueless about football but it doesn't stop them giving a running commentary on how they think the players should be playing. Yesterday's favourite word was "Drive" everytime we took possesion.

It never used to be like this up in the corner, but now the boneheads have started to move in.

My son's football team played out at Chesterfield last season (under 11s at the time) and their manager was a complete and utter wanker. Acted like he'd failed in men's football and spoke to his team like shit. Nearly all their players looked downbeat and didn't seem to enjoy it despite being a decent side and winning the game.

His favourite shout was 'relax' at the top of his voice when one of their players got in a dangerous position. Stupid twat seemed oblivious to the fact it had exactly the opposite effect.

 

[nowtfancy]

"Drive" seems to be the instruction of choice from many of the junior league managers at the moment.
Not sure many 7 year olds get it like...

Round me in John street it was 'stop fannying about with it'.
Not sure how they've coped over the last 12 months of fannying

 

[IdLiketoRogerMoore]

There's a c16 year old who sits in front of us in the Family Stand who stands and shouts "get up you big puff" every time one of their players has the tumultery to go down.

As this 'lad' has a very orange completion, has bleached foppish hair and wears drainpipe/skinny trousers - the next home game I'm going to explain the definition of irony to him!

 

[Deadly_D'Jaffo]

I sit nearby a particular set, but wouldn't go as far as to call them knobheads.

1 of them does a Jeff Stelling-like commentary of every goal that is being scored in every other game then the one he paid to watch. When he does break from this, he almost inevitably chats bollocks....My favourite being last season he was offering dietary advice for fat loss despite resembling a young Keith from The Office.

1 of them has a limited vocabulary of phrases, "hit emmmm", "tack-hullll", "secondssss" and (my favourite) "kick itttt" usually whined out in a Kevin & Perry tone.

 

[JohnDenver]

I thought Bert was a stalwart of gangway B on the South Stand? Surely a move to less gentrified surroundings was always going to lead Bert and The Enforcer into potentially troubled waters?

JD remains a stalwart of gangway B. But then JD chooses not to winter in sunnier climes.

 

[Fanny magnet]

The missus is sat opposite me now if that counts

 

[HillmortonBlade]

"Drive" seems to be the instruction of choice from many of the junior league managers at the moment.
Not sure many 7 year olds get it like...

Round me in John street it was 'stop fannying about with it'.
Not sure how they've coped over the last 12 months of fannying

I've always chuckled at "hit the channels!!" shouted at 7 year olds.

 

[Dec]

There is a bloke at the back of the Kop (Gangway E) that needs to realise that shouting "PAEDO" every single time the "Wanker, wanker, wanker" chant breaks out stopped being funny after the 1st time, never mind the 50th time.

Twat is behind me so at least I don't have to witness him smugly turn to his mates either side of him as he presumably does to lap up the acclaim for such a hilarious stunt.

 

[ShockingBadBuy]

Three of the biggest dickheads in Sheffield sit three rows behind Bert in the Bramall Lane corner.

Absolutely clueless about football but it doesn't stop them giving a running commentary on how they think the players should be playing. Yesterday's favourite word was "Drive" everytime we took possesion.

It never used to be like this up in the corner, but now the boneheads have started to move in.

In our idle or drunken moments, my good mate Rob and I often talk about how, in the weeks after the revolution, we will pay back all the knobheads we have ever encountered. Those spared from humiliating servitude (bringing us constant beer and grub, doing the shopping, scrubbing the bog, etc) will have their foreheads permanently branded with one, two or three knobs, depending on how big a knobhead they are.

How many knobs would Bert envisage these fellows might need branding on their heads ?

 

[HodgysBrokenThumb]

Always worrying, these threads. I haven't recognised myself......yet.

 

[Stretch]

I have been sitting toward the back of the BL upper for most games this season, centralish and it's been largely idiot free until yesterday. For some reason they all rocked up after half time, I am guessing they switched to better seats once they realised they were empty. My word, what a bunch of charmers. Potty mouthed, aggressive, overbearing wankers. Some folk have got absolutely no filter even when sitting immediately behind very young kids.
Classy.

 

[Tyler Durden]

I've moved season ticket spots twice in the past two seasons due being sat in front of insufferable cunts.

First was a whiny old bastard whose most frequent phrase was "One of yer" whether the situation was appropriate or not.

Last season was worse. A fat old stupid gobby cunt with a fat cunts voice who would find any excuse to slate Billy Sharp and always referred to Scougall as "the dwaaaarf". He'd even angrily rebuke the team when we were 4-0 up for something or other.
Not to mention the hand signals. For half a season I tolerated his constant pointing, with his hand two inches from my face until I politely requested that he remove the offending digit from my line of vision, lest one of them gets inserted up his arse.
Only the risk of a stadium ban prevented me from emptying my Bovril over his fat diabetic head most weeks.

Unfortunately it's my lot in life that my greatest passion also requires me to be around large groups of people, which is rarely ever an enjoyable prospect.

There's a lot of virtue in keeping ones fucking mouth shut and not encroaching on the personal space of others. Sadly it's also a rare one in human society.

 

[ShockingBadBuy]

Some folk have got absolutely no filter even when sitting immediately behind very young kids.
Classy.

Yeah, but consideration toward young kids supporting Utd at Bramall Lane, or at away grounds, is just plain wrong. I know because I've read it on here many times.

 

[Dec]

There's a fucking family stand for a fucking reason.

 

[Blade1771]

The wanker who sit two seats to the right of me, on the row in front on the asputh Stand.

He picks a player he doesn't think is playing well after 20 minutes and then spends the next 70 minutes lambasting him.

He doesn't like Mark Duffy

 

[Keef Chedwyn]

My neighbour is sound before his half time pint. Second half he babbles on about what formation we are playing and I have to listen to him randomly saying numbers between 1 and 5 for the next half hour. Had to tell him to shut up a couple of times. Nice lad though.

 

[Stretch]

There's a fucking family stand for a fucking reason.

Funnily enough I have found the family stand to be just as bad as anywhere else whenever we go in there.

I am no prude and don't expect anyone not to swear, I know I find it almost impossible sometimes and it's only an 8 year old sitting next to me that prevents me from letting rip sometimes.

And kids hear it all the time these days out and about to varying degrees but yesterday's exponents really did push the boat out. Hearing grown men screaming 'You fucking cunt!!' 'Fuck off and die you fucking cunt!!' and such like with kids no older than 5 or 6 sat immediately in front of them was a bit much.

 

[FleaPitBlade]

I'm fully aware of the fact that a referee blowing a whistle to start a game of association football can instantly transform me into the sort of person one would not wish to be in the company of.

If you sit near me. Soz.

 

[HillmortonBlade]

Sat on Kop for that Adkins season, lads sat behind me (Row UU) were amongst the most knowledgeable pundits it's been my pleasure to sit near.

Sort of counterbalanced the "gerritfarrard... gaaarbage" sat front/right*

*Edit.. was justified, but I didn't need it pointing out just do often.