The ‘will you get to watch the match’ torture

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Last season the first home game fell on the day of my sister's wedding. Deeming this rather selfish planning on her part, I streamed the game on my phone because she'd even more unfairly scheduled the speeches to coincide with the first half.

I'd made the noble sacrifice of not being at the match and was comfortable in saying that asking any more of me would have clearly been excessive.

Stream it on your phone.
 

Will we get to today's game? It is with full-on shame that I have to report the London Blades have been threatened with eviction from the National Express bus for "laughing". Still, we are now beyond Tibshelf so I reckon even seven of us could hitchhike form Woodall if the driver boots us off there. #londonbladesareafuckingdisgrace
 
Update-

Thanks for all the advice. Lunch is at 1:30pm. Devastated.

I do have Sky Go but it’s on the iPad, fairly conspicuous. And I won’t be fit for purpose because I’ll blatantly ignore everyone and celebrate wildly if anything good happens.

Decisions decisions.
You shouldn't have to decide, the blades are for life, you can get another Mrs if need be.
 
In the family’s defence, it’s the annual family holiday Sunday dinner which they only do twice a year (the other being Christmas). I am here all week though!

No one told me they’d be booking it for half bloody one!
Plan B.

Collect some slugs, and when the horses doo- vrers arrive secrete them in.
Job done.
 
Sunday Dinner, as any good Yorkshire man will tell thee, is about family and timing. From the age of 16 to 21, I played football for the local pub team with my older brother. My mum did the team kit every week!
Mum was golden, but dinner was on the table at 2.05 pm rain or shine. In those days the pub shut at 2pm. If you were late, your dinner was in the dog.
When I first moved to the tropics, I met a Coventry lad who owned a pub/restaurant. He had the same ethos about Sunday dinners, even though his pub was open all hours.
He married a Thai bird who did home made Yorkshire pudding, and Sunday roast a real treat, so I put weight on, religiously attending my little bit of vicarious England.
As I get older and move around, the little home comforts mean such a lot, even at 35oC. Fortunately he's got IPTV so I can do both at the same time, with Guinness or Magners draught, depending on the mood.
 
Will we get to today's game? It is with full-on shame that I have to report the London Blades have been threatened with eviction from the National Express bus for "laughing". Still, we are now beyond Tibshelf so I reckon even seven of us could hitchhike form Woodall if the driver boots us off there. #londonbladesareafuckingdisgrace

A Woodall bail might be a good idea. M1 is banjaxed and Parkway junction is closed.
 
In the family’s defence, it’s the annual family holiday Sunday dinner which they only do twice a year (the other being Christmas). I am here all week though!

No one told me they’d be booking it for half bloody one!

Mate, if I can call you mate. This might be a family tradition but this is our first match back in the premier league for 12 years and might be the last one ever. I am amazed your family have not told you, don’t worry we know it’s important to you. Have a good time and we will see you after.
 
My good mates christening his grandson today and will miss the game along with the kids diehard blade father. They are absolutely gutted. To top that he’s struggling for the Liverpool home game with it being 12 kick off. He also missed Hull away while in the Caribbean last year.
Rule 1,
Never get a job that involves weekends.
Rule 2.
Tell your other half she has the whole of fuckin June and July when it comes to booking a holiday.
The christening is just shit luck though :eek:
 
Please tell me you managed to watch this Sheff de party

Thanks for the many supportive, creative and overall hilarious messages. Interesting thread!

I did indeed stream Sky Go from 20 minutes (when it started working) on a nearby chair, nailed my roast, swigged my San Miguel and skipped dessert to hot foot it to the nearest pub with Sky Sports, ably supported by the missus, who insisted we go to watch it and drove.

As she was parking, I made it into the pub and sat down fully 60 seconds before Lundstram’s goal.

Sat and spoke to a very friendly Man U fan who knew a fair bit about us and wanted us to stay up. Asked a lot about Hendo.

Day rescued!
 

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