Funny things you've overheard in the stands

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DifferentClass

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Because the close season is fucking shit.

Can be aimed at a player, a random "observation", owt you've heard fans saying at matches that you found funny.

Most recent one for me was during the Ipswich match at BDTBL. Girl shouted something to the Ipswich keeper along the lines of "Oi Gerken, noone wants you in their Big Macs!" ...well, it made ME laugh at least :oops:

Another one which stands out for me- during the Clough era when the average height of our midfield was 3'8", I overheard a bloke saying "we've got more midgets than the fucking chocolate factory!"

Over to you...
 

I remember an opposition goalkeeper catching a ball and a bloke behind shouting ‘handball’ at the top of his voice.

Not particularly funny on its own but 5 rows of people turned and stared at him.

Years later we shout handball whenever he opens his mouth
 
4th division game at Wigan sat in their 'main' stand among locals
They'd recently been 'promoted' from non - league and we'd swiftly tumbled down the leagues

Old fella next to me got a tad irate as his team went 1 down (Edwards from recollection?) and advised me:
"If this is first division football, I'm glad we're in the fourth"
 
4th division game at Wigan sat in their 'main' stand among locals
They'd recently been 'promoted' from non - league and we'd swiftly tumbled down the leagues

Old fella next to me got a tad irate as his team went 1 down (Edwards from recollection?) and advised me:
"If this is first division football, I'm glad we're in the fourth"

Wouldn't Nigel Adkins have played for Wigan that day, or was he a little later on?


Back in the Bassett days one of our agricultural centre halves had left an opponent prostrate face down on the turf when somebody on the kop yelled "ref, that cunt's eating our fucking grass"

Plenty of grass eating going on on the Kop if you know what I mean...
 
4th division game at Wigan sat in their 'main' stand among locals
They'd recently been 'promoted' from non - league and we'd swiftly tumbled down the leagues

Old fella next to me got a tad irate as his team went 1 down (Edwards from recollection?) and advised me:
"If this is first division football, I'm glad we're in the fourth"
I think it was Kenworthy, Edwards hadn’t been re signed at that stage of the season.
 
Guy in front of me at the Boro game back in 98/99? Merson picked up the ball out in the wing right in front of us and this fella decided to hurl some abuse at him “MERSON YOU....(remembers he has a small child with him).... SMELLY GIT”

Ill never forgot it
 
Wouldn't Nigel Adkins have played for Wigan that day, or was he a little later on ?

Doubt it - I'd have recognised / remembered the twat even then !?!

Game was September 82 (1-0 win) & according to thickypedia NA was on Tranmere's books at that time - as you say he went to Wigan later (1985)

Does beg the question as to whether he played for Tranmere agin us ?
 

Done this before and you had to be there (luckily about half a dozen members of this board were)...

"Lackey."
 
Two old blokes behind me. Every match at half time.
"Does tha want a pie?"

"No its alright. I've got mibike outside"
 
In the family stand a row behind me there's a short bald middle aged pig that's been coming since November 2018 that never shuts up about his kid in the academy or about what him and his missus did last Tuesday teatime while also mentioning what the atmosphere was like last time he was at Hillsborough with his old man. To top it all off however, is his constant abuse of players most noticeably his abuse towards McGoldrick: "lazy", "not good enough", "get him off" as well as a slight remark to him looking "like a terrorist". Hogan, Norwood and Deano were the others he liked to hurl abuse at also. I hope to all that is holy that he isn't there next season.
 
Can’t remember the opponents but it was a night match at Bramall Lane about 10 years ago when we were sponsored by www.VisitMalta.com

We’d played awfully and were trailing at the break. Then the adverts for Malta came on.

This bloke in front of us goes...

“Never mind bloody Malta - lets have some football!”

He got a round of applause for that! :p
 
One for the older Blades to remember and brought back to me by the ‘OFFSIDE!’ post.

On that night when TC sat on the ball when we were 5-0 up against the then Champions Arsenal, the brilliant Alan Ball’s squeaky voice could be heard above all others berating his teammates. This resulted in most of the Kop shouting ‘ALAN!’ In the highest pitched voice that they could muster whenever he touched the ball for the rest of the game. It was like a scene from Monty Python. Fecking hilarious.
 
Whenever a ginger was warming up...

"Hope tha's got thi sun cream on young un"
 

I've got a few , but I think my favourite goes back to the late '70s .

Many of you will remember Steve Finnieston who we signed from Chelsea as a striker and turned out to be a big disappointment . In a match where he'd just returned to the side after what was reported as 'a lower back injury which required intense physiotherapy ' , he was playing crap .

After about 20 mins. a bloke standing next to me turned and said " I reckon when that physio was working on Finnieston 's lower back , he had both hands on his shoulders "!

Priceless .
 

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