Funny things you've overheard in the stands

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Kozzy_is_my_Dad

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Notts County away, the first League One season. Leaving their away end, a load of local lads, must have been no older than 15, decided to come round to the away end to pick a scrap. I was walking out with some man mountain of a Blade.

"Oh, fuck off - does your Mum know you're out?"
 

sheffielder

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Back in the 1st division and George Long was in net. There was a guy who sits behind me who hated him to such a degree that when Long came out of his area one day to head a ball away it fell to a player on the half way line. George was 15 yards outside his area and this guy literally had a melt down shouting to the opposition player 'quick, lob him'

He became quite irrate when he realised it was a 1st divsion player he headed it out to. I did wonder for a while whether it was sitwell but I believe he doesn't sit in the South Stand.
 

Lmaobob

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Heard a bloke on the kop shouting "That's why he can't make it in the prem, he's shit" after Norwood gave away the ball, this was fairly soon after we'd signed him.
Same with us in the South Stand. Normally a season ticket holder that sits directly behind me but for some reason it was someone different - slating Mcgoldrick and Norwood at every opportunity.

Tried to confront his idiocy but then realised it's impossible to win an argument against a stupid person
 

sitwell

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Back in the 1st division and George Long was in net. There was a guy who sits behind me who hated him to such a degree that when Long came out of his area one day to head a ball away it fell to a player on the half way line. George was 15 yards outside his area and this guy literally had a melt down shouting to the opposition player 'quick, lob him'

He became quite irrate when he realised it was a 1st divsion player he headed it out to. I did wonder for a while whether it was sitwell but I believe he doesn't sit in the South Stand.
Our promotion hero?? No I'm on john st, his spectacular worse was a 3-3 draw at home to crewe that's when I knew he was rubbish. The only person I've ever had a go at during a game was Willie falconer he was a real special shade of shit.
 

Bayingblade

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When the kop was turned into an all seater, there were 4 lads sat in front of us who were real characters, one especially. They all wore yellow hats. The loudest had a regular tendency to have a go at the linesman. His opening line always used to make us smile as he balled "linesman, LINESMAN, look at mi when am talking to di" :)

He was also the first guy I remember who took a bugle to the game. Others may remember that. He was no Acker Bilk but he did a job:)
 
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One for the older Blades to remember and brought back to me by the ‘OFFSIDE!’ post.

On that night when TC sat on the ball when we were 5-0 up against the then Champions Arsenal, the brilliant Alan Ball’s squeaky voice could be heard above all others berating his teammates. This resulted in most of the Kop shouting ‘ALAN!’ In the highest pitched voice that they could muster whenever he touched the ball for the rest of the game. It was like a scene from Monty Python. Fecking hilarious.
God that was funny thank you for reminding me .
 
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"Gerrit Forrad YOO NITED"

"RUBBISH YOO NITED"

Some dickhead on back of south stand every match near press boxes.
I can tell you exactly where he sits, what he looks like, his match day routine & his intellectual profile ( which In all fairness your initial post has identified) & capacity for 'debate'
Just praying that I (or he) is afforded the opportunity to re-locate - my current best option appears to be Leppings Lane (lower tier)
 

S5Blade

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I can tell you exactly where he sits, what he looks like, his match day routine & his intellectual profile ( which In all fairness your initial post has identified) & capacity for 'debate'
Just praying that I (or he) is afforded the opportunity to re-locate - my current best option appears to be Leppings Lane (lower tier)
haha, always the same guy, I used to sit right at the back, right next to the press boxes and could here him all game, every game, so fucking annoying. One of the positives of moving to Spain :D
 

Jimbo

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Birmingham at home last season, really windy night.
Norwood had a bit of a mare and overhit everything. Bloke behind me shouts "What's tha picked him for Wilder, tha knows he can't play in't wind!"
 

FreePaulRodgers

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When we lost 2-1 at Stevenage every time their keeper had the ball a lad in front of me would shout (Chris) Day you're gay.Still makes me laugh every time he's on a televised match.
 

since1889

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When we lost 2-1 at Stevenage every time their keeper had the ball a lad in front of me would shout (Chris) Day you're gay.Still makes me laugh every time he's on a televised match.
Nowt wrong with being gay.

However, there is everything wrong with being a Stevenage keeper.
 

Bannerman

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When the kop was turned into an all seater, there were 4 lads sat in front of us who were real characters, one especially. They all wore yellow hats. The loudest had a regular tendency to have a go at the linesman. His opening line always used to make us smile as he balled "linesman, LINESMAN, look at mi when am talking to di" :)

He was also the first guy I remember who took a bugle to the game. Others may remember that. He was no Acker Bilk but he did a job:)
Once away at Oldham and one of their players was laid out injured for quite some time. After about three or four minutes one of our lads started playing the Last Post on his bugle, was that him? Loads of us stood to attention and saluted, it only seemed right.
 

Bayingblade

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Once away at Oldham and one of their players was laid out injured for quite some time. After about three or four minutes one of our lads started playing the Last Post on his bugle, was that him? Loads of us stood to attention and saluted, it only seemed right.
Probably, Bannerman. Had a daft as a brush sort of humour and just the sort of thing he'd do. Shame he doesn't bring his bugle anymore and doesn't sit near us. Was always good value.:)
 

Brian Deane

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Mansfield no 9 Arrrrrhhhhh coming from the top after he swung a leg and missed the ball early in the first half. Everytime the ball went towards him after he had the same rendition.Funny as feck at the time. He was also subbed before half time IIRC.
 

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