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If you watched the Everything Everywhere movie, it’s theme is basically saying that our lives are defined by just a few magic specks of time that we share with others. Darlington, Leicester, Bouncing Day, Charlton, MK, Tottenham… and so on. As the lady says in the movie - “Then I will...

Don’t know if it’s been mentioned anywhere, but after Wilder’s last game before leaving last time we were in an identical position to where we see ourselves today. So now is his chance to exorcise the ghost of 3 years ago! UTB & Slava Ukraini!

OK - so not a lot to be cheerful about at the moment - so here's something to hope for. The worst 2 seasons that I've witnessed in the top flight were 1975/76 with Furphy & Sirel and 2020/21 with Wilder & Hecky. At the moment, those seasons were both just worse than the current one BUT - in...

I haven't been posting graphs - because it seemed a bit masochistic/sadistic to keep demonstrating to yourself and to everybody else how shit we've been. However, now that we've been slightly less shit - and now that there's another thread comparing Wilder and Hecky - it's probably worth...

Ball hits hand which is above the shoulder meets the criterion for a pen. I wasn’t aware that Adebayo’s straight right to the jaw to head the ball in the first place was within the laws of the game though!

I enjoyed my view more last year!

My lad asked me after the game – “How do you feel about that?” I said “I feel really disappointed – but I’m really delighted that I feel disappointed”! A point away at Villa, with 15 successive wins at Villa Park I think, was realistically probably the most that we could have hoped for...

Our club is a proper club, and a proper club is just like your family. You want them to do as well as possible, but when things go tits up for them they’re still your family. Unlike family though, at least it’s not up to us to sort out the mess. I guess we’re always the children in the...

That is exactly my last point, you can never know. My analysis looks from above at the overall strength of a season, not at team specifics. and in 2021 3 teams got 28 points or less - but obviously if you were 1 of those 3 teams then 29 points would not have kept you up - unless of course your...

There have been 28 seasons of 20-Team Premier Leagues. If you look at the graph below you can see that 35 points has been enough to stay up in 50% of those seasons - so I think that 35 is a reasonable target to expect to stay up, as this year is likely to be low - but in reality there are...

Quite a week. I was convinced VAR was going to give them a penalty at the death - but all was well and it was all pretty emotional at full time. Vinnie has now joined George, JLT and McA as my current personal favourites. VAR decisions continue to astound me. Palace had a penalty denied...

First, the table from the first 14 games each season ... ... Next, a comparison of our striking capabilities. Not too bad really - this year we're about half way between the good and the bad Wilder years. I'd probably have settled for that. Now - our (lack of!) defensive performance...

I’m 70 years old. I have remotes to play any music anywhere without moving - un fucking believable. I’m drinking my favourite single malt (lots). I’m in my chair listening to Linda Ronstadt at 4 am. Blade for life. I had 1971. I hope you do too! UTB & Slava Ukraini.

Newcastle are blooding a future star in 17-year old Lewis Miley, rather than loan him out. We have a slo-mo Norwood playing midfield with his zimmer frame as we sink towards the inevitable Championship next season. Up front we have the luxury of Archer, a brilliant finisher, but somebody has...

A point away to a side in Europe, after going a goal down. Off the bottom and rising. Yes please. No decent shots on target either. Next game - Anel back in the middle, George at RWB, Oli McB up front - with 2 weeks before that Bournemouth match to get properly fit. Let’s Go! Graph 1 is the...

Of course he has a song - was sung on Saturday:- We’ve got Ollie Norwood He is Fuckin’ right good Put one in the box son Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Repeat Time flies by in the red, white & Black etc No way we use JOC song for Norwood anyway! He’s certainly not worthy of that!

He’s not just a right back, he’s John Brayford George Baldock. That’s what Phipps said about The Beard to justify what we spent on him. What he meant was that he brought a lot more to the game than just playing it. Baldock’s last start was against Everton and his unwavering belief is contagious...

In my work I always had measurable targets that affected my pay.

2019/20 - Played 9 - Scored 8 - Points 12 2023/24 - Played 9 - Scored 7 - Points 1 Welcome Mark Hudson!

This Time - No Graphs - No Stats - Just Memories

(Saved this until after the Sunday games so that the Table was up to date.) I quite enjoyed yesterday, even though it was generally a scrappy game which is likely to be a Championship game next season. A point each was probably a fair reflection. (My cataract-free eye gave me a much clearer...

Job done - I’m a bit pissed and almost included Trevor Hockey!!

People as young as my grandchildren are still dying for the freedom of their country. If you call that bollocks I am very sorry for you!

… this could be our starting 11:- Wes George Anel Eggs Trusty Thomas Souza Hamer McAtee McBurnie Archer how wet would you be? Fucking brilliant United - now let’s let them loose. UTB & Slava Ukraini

In the Matchday 3 Graph Thread jono_t2000 asked me to do a goals comparison:- "Cheers for this ucandomagic Any chance of a graph tracking average goals per game vs previous premier league seasons (should be 0.66 currently) And possibly also average goals conceded per game vs prev seasons...

A 2-1 defeat to Citeh which could, and probably should, have been worse - but again, like against Forest, still disappointing to have come so close to getting a point. George let Grealish get outside him just the once, but that was enough for Haaland to head in from a good foot above JLT et al...

OK – so “A Happy New Season” to all and let’s get started. Maybe we should all wish each other "A Happy Christmas" in the Harry Bassett psychology? I feel that the pieces are nearly all there and we just haven’t sorted out what picture we’re trying to paint. We’ve played two games and got no...

jono_t2000 In the Outer Hebrides! Home tomorrow. Will produce first set of stuff on Monday evening after all Matchday 2 results. If I wait for us to break our duck it might be a long wait! UTB & Slava Ukraini