Swizzler makes national press

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Not a media whore at all SwissBlade is a discerning man who chose to use CrabPR, a subsidiary of Crab Industries. And if you say CrabPR quick enough, it sounds like Crappier. Winner winner Chicken Dinner :)
Although that isn't the full story.

My PR company promised a Full page article on the back of 3 national papers, a movie deal, Strictly Come Dancing, a TV series on Channel 5 and a go on Kelly Brook.
 
Although that isn't the full story.

My PR company promised a Full page article on the back of 3 national papers, a movie deal, Strictly Come Dancing, a TV series on Channel 5 and a go on Kelly Brook.

You fucking well are, you're all over papers in Kazakhstan, Equatorial Guinea and French Guyana, as well as dominating the smoke signals on Skull Island (Kong loves your work by the way). You're booked on the next series of Strictly in Western Samoa, and Channel 5? I'm waiting to hear back about the When Swissblade Attacks pitch I made last night.

The movie deal? Got you a support role in Battlefield Earth 2. Just waiting to hear from Travolta.

And as for Kelly Brook? I was pissed when you called (I mean come on it was 8.30am) and just heard Kelly. Matthew is on his way over.

Ungrateful fucking bastard :)
 
Typical - Board letting our best young talent move to bigger and better things.Have they even got a good sell-on clause? Will he celebrate if he scores a point against us? What kind of reception will he get if he comes back?
 
Typical - Board letting our best young talent move to bigger and better things.Have they even got a good sell-on clause? Will he celebrate if he scores a point against us? What kind of reception will he get if he comes back?

Foxy wanted to sell me but i've refused to sign the big money deal and leave you all. These are my peoples.
 
Typical - Board letting our best young talent move to bigger and better things.Have they even got a good sell-on clause? Will he celebrate if he scores a point against us? What kind of reception will he get if he comes back?

Don't worry, there's a Crab Clause (get it?) in his contract. He's going fucking nowhere :)
 

Don't worry, there's a Crab Clause (get it?) in his contract. He's going fucking nowhere :)
Wait till the big dogs come knocking. CRAP (Crab Representing Anybody Possible) Agency, won't be able to refuse. He'll be off like a shot and you'll have got your agents fee of £2m. Just make sure you get us a good sell on clause.
 
Wait till the big dogs come knocking. CRAP (Crab Representing Anybody Possible) Agency, won't be able to refuse. He'll be off like a shot and you'll have got your agents fee of £2m. Just make sure you get us a good sell on clause.

The dogs might be big, but the crabs are bigger

crab1y.jpg
 

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