Balham Blade
S24SU Seer
Where are they now?
Sheffield United 0
Arsenal 1 (Ljungberg)
Old Trafford
FA Cup Semi-Final, 13 April 2003
GK: Paddy Kenny: brought in by Warnock from previous club Bury for the princely sum of £45,000, Kenny went on to become one of the best goalkeepers outside the top flight. A knee injury in 2003/04 reduced his sweeper-keeper role to a more conventional shot-stopper one but he was virtually ever-present until his failed drugs test in 2009. A new contract signed while he was banned had a £750k release clause in which Warnock, now at QPR, activated in June 2010 to take Kenny to Rangers. Two seasons in the capital followed – including being the goalkeeper for the famous Agueroooooooo moment – before he linked up with Warnock again, this time at Leeds. Falling out of favour at Leeds, allegedly due to his birthday falling on the 17th and then-Leeds owner Massimo Cellino having a phobia of the number 17, Kenny had a series of unsuccessful short term spells at Bolton, Oldham, Ipswich, Bury, Rotherham and Northampton, making 4 appearances in three years before retiring in 2017. In an old-school moment he became a lorry driver after retiring but his firm was wound up in 2020; he is now a voice for hire on the football opinion circuit and can often be found baiting Sheffield Wednesday fans on Twitter.
RB: Phil Jagielka: the only one still playing, needs no introduction. Over 760 career appearances at United (287), Everton (384), United (22), Derby (21) and now Stoke (45). 40 England caps.
CB: John Curtis: tipped as a future star coming through the ranks at Manchester United, Curtis joined us on loan from Blackburn for the second half of the 2002/03 season after losing his place there to Lucas Neill. He signed for Leicester on a free after his spell at United but couldn’t hold down a first team spot, a story which would recur over the remainder of his career with the exception of a two year spell at Forest. Finished his career in Australia for Gold Coast United and is now leading a chain of academies in the USA.
CB: Rob Page: joined United in the summer of 2001 for £350k from first club Watford. He made club captain for the 2002/03 Triple Assault season and his overall spell at Bramall Lane was relatively successful, making 104 appearances but left for Cardiff on a free at the end of his contract. That didn’t work out and he moved on to Coventry and Huddersfield before finishing his playing career at Chesterfield. A number of his spells ended after bust-ups with management which makes it surprising that he chose to pursue a career as a manager and while his club management career was at best unspectacular (spells at Port Vale and Northampton) he did sufficiently well as Wales’ interim manager after Ryan Giggs’ arrest and subsequent assault charges to be made permanent boss in June 2022.
LB: Rob Kozluk. Signed as part of the deal which saw United ship Vas Borbokis out to Derby, Koz had big boots to fill and, as it transpired, Toblerone feet with which to fill them. Whole-hearted throughout his spell at the Lane, he was our longest serving player by the time he departed having made over 230 appearances. Pitched up at Barnsley after leaving us before re-joining for the second half of the doomed 2010/11 season under Mickey “Alehouse” Adams, for whom Kozluk would then sign at Port Vale the following season. A short term spell in 2012 at Bradford was his last taste of league football and he retired at the end of the following season. Now a scout for Derby.
RM: Peter Ndlovu. Nuddy started out at Coventry and was somewhat bizarrely picked by the creators of Premier Manager 2 (Sheffield’s own Gremlin Interactive) as one of the best prospects in English football. In the history books as the first African Premier League player (yes, football really did begin in 1992), we signed him in one of our better deals when Birmingham were convinced to part with Ndlovu and £1m for Curtis Woodhouse. Became another terrace hero over his three-and-a-half years at the Lane, scoring a memorable winner at home to Leeds in the League Cup and a hattrick against Cardiff in the ridiculous 5-3 win in 2004. He left United for South African side Mamelodi Sundowns in the summer of 2004. Had a spell as the assistant manager of Zimbabwe’s national team, suffered a horror car crash which left him with multiple broken bones and his brother and another passenger dead. Disappeared off the radar after a 2013 acquittal of culpable homicide following that accident.
CM: Mark Rankine. Not much to say, really. Replaced Stuart McCall as Warnock unnecessarily tinkered with his team and was anonymous in the defeat to former side Wolves in the play-off final. Now Mr 15% to, among others, Kyle Walker.
CM: Michael Brown. Brought in as an unpolished prospect, left for Spurs 6 months after compiling his own goal of the season competition in an astonishing 2002/03 campaign. Stayed for the final year of his contract believing we’d challenge for promotion again in 2003/04 but Neil Warnock’s natural habitat of 8th place started to become reality and Brown’s performances didn’t reach the highs of the previous season. Spurs came knocking with £500k in January 2004 and Brown departed for the capital. Made 50 appearances over two seasons with Spurs but was reinvented as an enforcer/dirty bastard before the arrival of a series of midfielders under Martin Jol saw Brown leave in search of first team football in January 2006. A series of spells neither short nor long followed: 18 months at Craven Cottage, two seasons at Wigan (2007-09), two seasons at then-financially stricken Portsmouth (2009-11) – it’s worth noting that he made 24 appearances in his final Portsmouth season; a 25th would have seen him receive a new contract on £25k per week so he was unused from Boxing Day until his contract expired. Moved to Leeds on a free after his release by Pompey before finishing his career at Port Vale. Can now be found as an opinion for hire, mainly on Sky after an unhappy four month spell as Port Vale’s manager.
LM: Michael Tonge. Burst onto the scene in 2002 with a brace against Liverpool in the League Cup semi-final and seemed to have the world at his feet. We turned down a rumoured £6m from the Scousers in the summer of 2003 and he ended up staying for a further five years before leaving for Stoke in 2008. Falling foul of Tony Pulis’s dislike of any form of technique he only made 12 appearances in the next five years, spending the majority of his time there on loan (Preston, Derby, Preston, Barnsley, Leeds). Joined up with Warnock again at Leeds in 2013 before finishing his career in League Two with Stevenage and Port Vale. Now coaching Huddersfield’s U18s.
CF: Carl Asaba. Formerly Gillingham’s record signing, he joined United in 2001 for the slightly odd amount of £92,500. Scored in our first win at the Stadio Rustico for 9 years to become a fan favourite, a feeling which is clearly mutual given his appearances this season on SUTV. Now an articulate summariser on United’s in-house production.
CF: Dean Windass. Signed permanently in January 2003 having scored 3 in 4 appearances on loan from Middlesbrough. Would go on to be completely dropped from the United squad for the play off final after being rumoured to have curled one out into a hole during a squad golf day. Left that summer back to Bradford City but ended up back at hometown club ‘Ull, for whom he scored an absolute screamer in the play off final to get the Humberside Jungle Cats promoted to the top flight for the first time in their history. Now tarnished by the actions of his son Josh who has joined the dark side operating out of S6.
Subs
Stuart McCall. Bradford legend after taking a tumble off a car roof celebrating … he finished his playing career at the Lane. Dropped by Warnock for Mark “15%” Rankine in a decision which will forever defy logic he ended on 763 career appearances before embarking on a generally unsuccessful managerial career, leading Bradford, Motherwell, Rangers, Bradford, Scunthorpe and Bradford again. Decided to join Blackpool as head coach after their promotion to the Championship in 2021 before switching to United four months later to allow us to complete the “Hecky, Jack and Stuart McCall” chant which wouldn’t have worked otherwise.
Nick Montgomery: “every second touch is a tackle” summed up Monty’s career but he would always make the tackle. Played for United in three divisions, making nearly 350 appearances before heading to Australia for the twilight of his career. Now Head Coach at Central Coast Mariners and doing well by all accounts.
Paul Peschisolido: “Oh My God”. That is all. Journeyman who wrote himself into legend with a single mazy run. Now taking a low profile having had an unsuccessful managerial stint in charge of Burton, he presumably takes a backseat as his high-flying wife screws Newham Council over and chases his errant daughter around.
Wayne Allison. Chief. Subject of ridiculous rumours that he made appearances at the end of games as he had agreed to split his appearance fee with Warnock when in reality he was a limited but committed centre forward who could put himself about and win headers. Scored the third against Wednesday under the lights. Had a successful spell at Chesterfield after leaving United and is now Dr Wayne Allison having completed his PhD at Sheffield Hallam.
Steven Kabba. Joined from Palace for £250k after playing an absolute blinder for Grimsby as we scraped a late, turnaround 2-1 win earlier in the 2002/03 season, Kabba would go on to score 11 in 33 appearances for United in the triple assault season, including the equalisers against Wednesday in the Steel City Derby and Forest in game which is subject of this WANT. Serious knee injuries took a real toll on him, however, and he ended up joining Watford for £500k in our Premier League season with a gentleman’s agreement in the deal that he wouldn’t face us being used by pie-loving journalist Martin Samuels as an equivalent of West Ham’s signings of Tevez and Mascherano. That argument remains as ridiculous today as it was then. Now a Mr 15% for ICM Stellar, one of the biggest football agencies, alongside Chris “Muck an’ Nettles” Morgan
Sheffield United 0
Arsenal 1 (Ljungberg)
Old Trafford
FA Cup Semi-Final, 13 April 2003
GK: Paddy Kenny: brought in by Warnock from previous club Bury for the princely sum of £45,000, Kenny went on to become one of the best goalkeepers outside the top flight. A knee injury in 2003/04 reduced his sweeper-keeper role to a more conventional shot-stopper one but he was virtually ever-present until his failed drugs test in 2009. A new contract signed while he was banned had a £750k release clause in which Warnock, now at QPR, activated in June 2010 to take Kenny to Rangers. Two seasons in the capital followed – including being the goalkeeper for the famous Agueroooooooo moment – before he linked up with Warnock again, this time at Leeds. Falling out of favour at Leeds, allegedly due to his birthday falling on the 17th and then-Leeds owner Massimo Cellino having a phobia of the number 17, Kenny had a series of unsuccessful short term spells at Bolton, Oldham, Ipswich, Bury, Rotherham and Northampton, making 4 appearances in three years before retiring in 2017. In an old-school moment he became a lorry driver after retiring but his firm was wound up in 2020; he is now a voice for hire on the football opinion circuit and can often be found baiting Sheffield Wednesday fans on Twitter.
RB: Phil Jagielka: the only one still playing, needs no introduction. Over 760 career appearances at United (287), Everton (384), United (22), Derby (21) and now Stoke (45). 40 England caps.
CB: John Curtis: tipped as a future star coming through the ranks at Manchester United, Curtis joined us on loan from Blackburn for the second half of the 2002/03 season after losing his place there to Lucas Neill. He signed for Leicester on a free after his spell at United but couldn’t hold down a first team spot, a story which would recur over the remainder of his career with the exception of a two year spell at Forest. Finished his career in Australia for Gold Coast United and is now leading a chain of academies in the USA.
CB: Rob Page: joined United in the summer of 2001 for £350k from first club Watford. He made club captain for the 2002/03 Triple Assault season and his overall spell at Bramall Lane was relatively successful, making 104 appearances but left for Cardiff on a free at the end of his contract. That didn’t work out and he moved on to Coventry and Huddersfield before finishing his playing career at Chesterfield. A number of his spells ended after bust-ups with management which makes it surprising that he chose to pursue a career as a manager and while his club management career was at best unspectacular (spells at Port Vale and Northampton) he did sufficiently well as Wales’ interim manager after Ryan Giggs’ arrest and subsequent assault charges to be made permanent boss in June 2022.
LB: Rob Kozluk. Signed as part of the deal which saw United ship Vas Borbokis out to Derby, Koz had big boots to fill and, as it transpired, Toblerone feet with which to fill them. Whole-hearted throughout his spell at the Lane, he was our longest serving player by the time he departed having made over 230 appearances. Pitched up at Barnsley after leaving us before re-joining for the second half of the doomed 2010/11 season under Mickey “Alehouse” Adams, for whom Kozluk would then sign at Port Vale the following season. A short term spell in 2012 at Bradford was his last taste of league football and he retired at the end of the following season. Now a scout for Derby.
RM: Peter Ndlovu. Nuddy started out at Coventry and was somewhat bizarrely picked by the creators of Premier Manager 2 (Sheffield’s own Gremlin Interactive) as one of the best prospects in English football. In the history books as the first African Premier League player (yes, football really did begin in 1992), we signed him in one of our better deals when Birmingham were convinced to part with Ndlovu and £1m for Curtis Woodhouse. Became another terrace hero over his three-and-a-half years at the Lane, scoring a memorable winner at home to Leeds in the League Cup and a hattrick against Cardiff in the ridiculous 5-3 win in 2004. He left United for South African side Mamelodi Sundowns in the summer of 2004. Had a spell as the assistant manager of Zimbabwe’s national team, suffered a horror car crash which left him with multiple broken bones and his brother and another passenger dead. Disappeared off the radar after a 2013 acquittal of culpable homicide following that accident.
CM: Mark Rankine. Not much to say, really. Replaced Stuart McCall as Warnock unnecessarily tinkered with his team and was anonymous in the defeat to former side Wolves in the play-off final. Now Mr 15% to, among others, Kyle Walker.
CM: Michael Brown. Brought in as an unpolished prospect, left for Spurs 6 months after compiling his own goal of the season competition in an astonishing 2002/03 campaign. Stayed for the final year of his contract believing we’d challenge for promotion again in 2003/04 but Neil Warnock’s natural habitat of 8th place started to become reality and Brown’s performances didn’t reach the highs of the previous season. Spurs came knocking with £500k in January 2004 and Brown departed for the capital. Made 50 appearances over two seasons with Spurs but was reinvented as an enforcer/dirty bastard before the arrival of a series of midfielders under Martin Jol saw Brown leave in search of first team football in January 2006. A series of spells neither short nor long followed: 18 months at Craven Cottage, two seasons at Wigan (2007-09), two seasons at then-financially stricken Portsmouth (2009-11) – it’s worth noting that he made 24 appearances in his final Portsmouth season; a 25th would have seen him receive a new contract on £25k per week so he was unused from Boxing Day until his contract expired. Moved to Leeds on a free after his release by Pompey before finishing his career at Port Vale. Can now be found as an opinion for hire, mainly on Sky after an unhappy four month spell as Port Vale’s manager.
LM: Michael Tonge. Burst onto the scene in 2002 with a brace against Liverpool in the League Cup semi-final and seemed to have the world at his feet. We turned down a rumoured £6m from the Scousers in the summer of 2003 and he ended up staying for a further five years before leaving for Stoke in 2008. Falling foul of Tony Pulis’s dislike of any form of technique he only made 12 appearances in the next five years, spending the majority of his time there on loan (Preston, Derby, Preston, Barnsley, Leeds). Joined up with Warnock again at Leeds in 2013 before finishing his career in League Two with Stevenage and Port Vale. Now coaching Huddersfield’s U18s.
CF: Carl Asaba. Formerly Gillingham’s record signing, he joined United in 2001 for the slightly odd amount of £92,500. Scored in our first win at the Stadio Rustico for 9 years to become a fan favourite, a feeling which is clearly mutual given his appearances this season on SUTV. Now an articulate summariser on United’s in-house production.
CF: Dean Windass. Signed permanently in January 2003 having scored 3 in 4 appearances on loan from Middlesbrough. Would go on to be completely dropped from the United squad for the play off final after being rumoured to have curled one out into a hole during a squad golf day. Left that summer back to Bradford City but ended up back at hometown club ‘Ull, for whom he scored an absolute screamer in the play off final to get the Humberside Jungle Cats promoted to the top flight for the first time in their history. Now tarnished by the actions of his son Josh who has joined the dark side operating out of S6.
Subs
Stuart McCall. Bradford legend after taking a tumble off a car roof celebrating … he finished his playing career at the Lane. Dropped by Warnock for Mark “15%” Rankine in a decision which will forever defy logic he ended on 763 career appearances before embarking on a generally unsuccessful managerial career, leading Bradford, Motherwell, Rangers, Bradford, Scunthorpe and Bradford again. Decided to join Blackpool as head coach after their promotion to the Championship in 2021 before switching to United four months later to allow us to complete the “Hecky, Jack and Stuart McCall” chant which wouldn’t have worked otherwise.
Nick Montgomery: “every second touch is a tackle” summed up Monty’s career but he would always make the tackle. Played for United in three divisions, making nearly 350 appearances before heading to Australia for the twilight of his career. Now Head Coach at Central Coast Mariners and doing well by all accounts.
Paul Peschisolido: “Oh My God”. That is all. Journeyman who wrote himself into legend with a single mazy run. Now taking a low profile having had an unsuccessful managerial stint in charge of Burton, he presumably takes a backseat as his high-flying wife screws Newham Council over and chases his errant daughter around.
Wayne Allison. Chief. Subject of ridiculous rumours that he made appearances at the end of games as he had agreed to split his appearance fee with Warnock when in reality he was a limited but committed centre forward who could put himself about and win headers. Scored the third against Wednesday under the lights. Had a successful spell at Chesterfield after leaving United and is now Dr Wayne Allison having completed his PhD at Sheffield Hallam.
Steven Kabba. Joined from Palace for £250k after playing an absolute blinder for Grimsby as we scraped a late, turnaround 2-1 win earlier in the 2002/03 season, Kabba would go on to score 11 in 33 appearances for United in the triple assault season, including the equalisers against Wednesday in the Steel City Derby and Forest in game which is subject of this WANT. Serious knee injuries took a real toll on him, however, and he ended up joining Watford for £500k in our Premier League season with a gentleman’s agreement in the deal that he wouldn’t face us being used by pie-loving journalist Martin Samuels as an equivalent of West Ham’s signings of Tevez and Mascherano. That argument remains as ridiculous today as it was then. Now a Mr 15% for ICM Stellar, one of the biggest football agencies, alongside Chris “Muck an’ Nettles” Morgan
