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United: Are you a football manager?
Applicant: Yes
United: Are you fucking useless?
Applicant: Yes
United: Is your name Nigel?
Applicant: Yes
United: When can you start?
I understand we've approached Nigel Mansell in the past few hours.
Nigel Havers and Nigel Benn both ruled themselves out earlier this week.
Nigel Planer who played Neil in The Young Ones is reportedly also interested however.
Nigel Farage is extremely interested as we we won't have anything to do with Europe for the duration of his remaining life.
now that's blue sky thinkingI'm going to apply on the basis that although I've never been paid to play football and I've never managed a football team my old company sent me on numerous managerial courses, usually based on some bullshit inclusivity/motivational research done by MIT or Harvard and that I'm fluent in managerial bullshit.
I think the players should be allowed to flex more and be given autonomy in order to further develop their emotional intelligence. This should increase their creativity and productivity particularly in midfield where conflicting personality types are stifling each other's flow.
I think it might be a good idea to have a break out area in the training ground where they can grab a coffee, interact and bounce ideas of each other. We also need to look at how we carry out performance reviews as I think our benchmarking procedures are too subjective and don't include enough metrics.
Don't rule out Nigella Lawson
He'd still get the job if his name was NigelWhat would happen if the applicant answered No to the first question?
they don't include enough "goals" eitherI'm going to apply on the basis that although I've never been paid to play football and I've never managed a football team my old company sent me on numerous managerial courses, usually based on some bullshit inclusivity/motivational research done by MIT or Harvard and that I'm fluent in managerial bullshit.
I think the players should be allowed to flex more and be given autonomy in order to further develop their emotional intelligence. This should increase their creativity and productivity particularly in midfield where conflicting personality types are stifling each other's flow.
I think it might be a good idea to have a break out area in the training ground where they can grab a coffee, interact and bounce ideas of each other. We also need to look at how we carry out performance reviews as I think our benchmarking procedures are too subjective and don't include enough metrics.
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